"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category

Frugal Begins

I mentioned in my last post that I am in the midst of adding a few new kitchen accoutrements.  I haven’t been cooking much if any for the past several years since the Hunter tended to dominate the kitchen.  One of the best ways for me to keep my spending (and hopefully weight) under control is to simply eat at home all the time.

I was inspired by the book, The Art of Eating In  by Cathy Erway.  She spent two years not eating out in New York City.  It’s a great read.  You can also read Cathy’s blog.

Anyway, one of the easiest ways to save money is with your food budget.  I am all set to do just that, but I wanted to make my life easier with a few extra gadgets.  The dutch oven is essential for launching my idea of baking.  Not just muffins and brownie mix, but bread.  Cathy talks about a “no-knead” bread that she made constantly.  That’s what I am talking about.  If I am not going to dine out, then I need to be able to cook good stuff.  I need to meal prep so if I am tired, I am not tempted to order something.

I got another book, Budget Bytes, which is also blog.  Beth Moncel is a nutritionist/food scientist and she knows how to cook on a budget.  She has been a big inspiration that I can have some fantastic meals for pennies.

Right now the frig and freezer are full of ingredients.  Now it is time to create some great meals. I have planned out my first round of menu items.  Until I get the freezer a bit stocked with some ready-to-go options, I will be cooking more than usual.  I am hopeful that I can get it down to a couple of days a week with plenty of leftovers.  Fortunately I like leftovers.

There is only one big ticket item left to acquire and that is my sofa.   I have found two good candidates on OfferUp for half of what I was willing to spend.  I hope to see them soon and I should be able to get some guys from work to haul it up for me.

Then, except for Christmas, I will be on a spending lock down.  I really don’t need anything, so it won’t be a hardship.  The hardship will be not buying tickets to events or eating out.  It will be interesting to see how I can keep busy and lively without spending money, but I really need to get myself out of debt and on a firm financial footing.  It isn’t forever.  I am hopeful I can clean things up in less than 2 years.

Here we go……

 

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Photo by Ella Olsson on Unsplash

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Romping

The Hunter invited me for a sleepover on Friday.  It made sense because I had a dentist appointment close to him and he lives close to the old place.  We could have a slumber party and then get up early to tackle the final clean out.  I was good with the plans until Friday morning and then I wasn’t.  I was so tired.  The prospect of cozying up on the floor of his place on a nest of sleeping bags wasn’t alluring.  I’m too old for that shit.

I called and backed out.  He texted me about an hour later and volunteered to some up to see me.  Now we are talking.  I got a gourmet pizza and he came over for pizza and romping.  Then he went home because he had not fed the Kracken and he likes sleeping in his own bed these days.

He called me when he got home and said he had been thinking on the ride home.  He asked if I was happy with the situation of us living apart but still seeing each other.  I wasn’t sure what to say, so I turned the tables and asked him.  He loves it.  I laughed and said I did also.  He loves sleeping alone (me too) and having his own space (me too).

When we see each other, it’s a short amount of time full of active listening and affection.  We talk every day at least twice a day plus some texting.  How long will this last?  I have no idea.  Is it an ideal relationship?  For now.  Who knows?

What I do know is that there is no longer any tension between us.  I am no longer responsible for him financially or otherwise.  We do our own thing and try to see each other twice a week or so.  The sex is great, we cuddle and then he leaves.  I have to say, having the entire bed to myself is lovely.

He just called me to see how I was doing.  We both had a lot of crap to unload from our respective vehicles.  I had about 5=6 trips plus I went grocery shopping because I am a glutton for punishment. He was laughing at me because although I have just finished getting rid of a ton of crap, here I am getting a few more things.  What’s on the list?  A used KitchenAid mixer, a dutch oven (Aldi has some nice ones for $25 versus $60 everywhere else) and a used Instant Pot.  Why all the kitchen stuff?  Stay tuned and I’ll tell you.

However, now I am pooped. My Buns of Steel got their workout from my endless trips up and down today.  I did go for a quick swim at my beautiful resort-style pool and it was lovely and relaxing.  Exactly what I wanted in my new place.  The final steps have taken place.  I have officially left the old place and now the new chapter begins.  It will be an interesting transition….

Frustrated

Ugh – I need more patience. Somehow I must have misplaced it in the move. Yesterday I stewed in frustration. First my internet/cable hookup.

Internet installs are always fraught for me. No matter which provider I use, there is a complication. Yesterday was no exception. It got sorted out after the on-site tech spent an hour hooking things up and then I got to spend another hour on the phone troubleshooting the streaming TV part. It made me cranky.

Add to that my stubborn idea to cook a dinner that used 2 Pyrex dishes, a pot and baking pan plus assorted measuring & cooking utensils. WTF was I thinking? It was delicious and I have leftovers for dinner tonight, but I was overly ambitious.

Then I stayed up late decompressing and lingered in bed this morning. I told myself I should unpack, so I got out of bed and unpacked for an hour. This made me rush for work.

The Hunter called during my 10-minute commute. He gently scolded me and counseled more patience. My GF did the same at lunch. They are right. I need to slow down. I will get it all done, but it won’t be all done immediately.

I get it. I’m trying to leap into my new routines immediately because I’m so darned excited. I want the boxes gone because they make me a bit anxious and I feel unsettled. I want to cook healthy meals so hopefully I’ll start losing weight.

That’s another area of frustration. I’m working my ass off, moving constantly and eating healthy. Result: I friggin’ gained a pound. Seriously?! I tell myself it might be inflammation. Everything is tired and sore. Every morning I have an Advil with my coffee.

Tonight I am hitting my reset button. I’m sitting by the beautiful pool, listening to a gurgling fountain and enjoying the evening breeze. It’s divine. Then I will eat my delicious leftovers and watch something salacious on TV and go to bed early. I already unpacked this morning and dropped the boxes off in recycling. That’s enough for today.

Plus I need my rest because the Hunter visits tomorrow. We have a full evening of dinner, a little work, Survivor premier and a bedroom romp. It will be his first visit here.

I just need to remember to be kinder and more patient with myself. All the boxes will get unpacked. I will be able to buy my loveseat in the next week or so. I just need to calm down. LOL – easier said than done.

Here We Go!

The move went very smoothly. The truck was loaded in 1-1/2 hours. I even had notes taped to everything that said either “yes” or “no”. This directed the guys on what went on the truck.

The Hunter walked in before they arrived and burst out laughing. “Are you indecisive? ” He saw it as equivocating on a marriage proposal. Silly man. When he left he hugged me hard and whispered “I love you.” I love him too. It’s just a bit complicated right now. More will follow on this.

The $1400 (including tips) for the movers was money well spent. They bounded up and down the stairs hauling my 50+ boxes with ease. They grabbed EVERYTHING and stuck it on the truck.

I have my storage closet on the same floor as my apartment and have already started filling it up. It’s a weird shape – not what I was expecting, but we made it work. I need to think vertical with it.

I ran to the grocery store and should be set for about a week (I hope).

I am pooped. It was a very busy day. Now comes the unpacking. I decided that right now, my objective needs to be getting rid of the boxes. My Pinterest organization self needs to calm down and wait.

My new bed is set up with clean sheets and looks fabulously comfy. The frame makes it tight to get the linens on. The jury is out on if I love it. I have to watch my toes on the frame.

I am eager to get settled. Tomorrow will be spent unpacking. That should get things under control. Then Saturday is the garage sale (ugh).

I don’t have internet, so I’m using my HD antenna. Something is up with my TV & the universal remote, so I’m stuck watching only ABC right now. That’s OK, I found my wireless speaker. I discovered I like having some noise, so this is important to my zen.

I need to take a shower and find some Advil. I’ve had 2 glasses of Prosecco to celebrate. I feel good like I’ve come home. Time will tell.

It’s Happening

I picked up my keys to my new place today. I went at lunch, tape measure in hand so I could confirm things. I happened to have post-its on me and my furniture measurements were in my phone, so I used the post-its to lay out my furniture. Perfect. Everything will fit – hypothetically.

I am charmed with my place. Now I could have been light-headed from a lack of oxygen due to my climb to the third floor, but I like an upper floor. It faces south and the living area was filled with natural light, but the bedroom is shaded because the balcony is in front. I will have a storage room on the same floor (thank goodness!).

It is perfect for one person. Probably better for one person who isn’t apparently still recovering from hoarding, but I will get there.

Tonight the Hunter dropped by because he wanted one more romp for old times sake. We rolled around gloriously and then I kicked him out so I could pack. It was pretty funny.

I’m just about ready. I have a few things to pack in the morning, but I feel calm and prepared. Ha! That won’t last for long, but it will allow me to sleep. It feels a bit surreal that another huge component of my reset is happening. Thank you, God, Karma, the Universe. I am very, very grateful.

Over 50

I was texting with my daughter, Taz. She was watching “Otherhood”, so she texted me saying how much she loved me. Awww, that was so sweet.

Our conversation continued and she was inquiring how packing was going. I did a quick count and I am over 50 boxes AND I AM NOT DONE! Taz was laughing and challenging if I was truly downsizing. I am! I promise! WTF? How is this going to fit in a one-bedroom apartment?

Let’s break it down:

  • First, these boxes are smaller in size. Slightly bigger than liquor boxes. I only have 3 wardrobe boxes. Yeah, yeah, Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
  • 4 boxes of heirloom Christmas decorations- non-negotiable, these will be divvied up between the kids in the next 3-5 years.
  • 3-4 boxes of kid mementoes. I’ve saddled the kids with about 6 boxes. Once again, another 3-5 years before they are ready.
  • 4-6 boxes of photos and other mementos of mine. This is my next big project. Over the next 12-18 months I want to sort and organize these. Once again in preparation to dump them on the kids.
  • 4 boxes of wine glasses, serving bowls and platters. Stuff to entertain.
  • 5-6 boxes of books, financial records and office supplies.
  • 7-8 boxes for kitchen stuff.

Yada, yada – you see where this is going. I recognize that I have a bunch of memory stuff that the kids want and I refuse to callously toss. I just need to suck it up and finally organize it. I have ideas like a family cookbook complete with photos of past celebrations and the like. The kids know I’ll be working on this for them and they are grateful.

I reviewed my floor plan to see make sure things will fit. Thankfully, I don’t have a sofa so I can get the dining room table settled and then measure out how big a sofa I can get. I think it will be more of a loveseat instead of a sofa. Everything will fit, and hopefully not feel cramped.

This week is tightly choreographed. Pick up keys on Wednesday, movers Thursday, garage sale Saturday, Monday is internet installation, cleaners & Salvation Army pickup Tuesday. Sunday is for unpacking and my girlfriend volunteered her very handy hubby to build my IKEA dresser. Bless them both!

The Hunter came over so we could do some admin work for his company plus he did some laundry. His washing machine in his new place isn’t working. He’s happy. He sent me the sweetest text last night about how grateful he feels towards me. I too am grateful. The man taught me to love again and how to enjoy my sexuality. For that I too am forever grateful. I’ll write more about this later.

Now, time for bed amongst the boxes. I better get that extra storage the new place offers. I’m gonna need it…

Last Night

Last night was the last one of the Hunter and I living together. Tonight he will spend it in his new place. We spent the day packing and figuring out who gets what. It has been pleasant and stress-free.

over the weekend, we went out to dinner, had drinks and talked about how we want us to be going forward. I told him he would be my friend forever. This whole weekend has been filled with mutual admiration and affection.

I have been to his new place. It is perfect for him and the Kracken. He has made countless trips over there moving his things. He is excited and happy about setting up his apartment.

I vastly prefer movers hauling my stuff in one big trip. Plus with me on the third floor, strong men hauling my stuff is a necessity. My big move is later this week, so I will be spending the next four nights alone amongst the boxes. I’m fine with that. It will be my new normal anyway as I get settled in my next chapter.

My change is happening. My next chapter continues. Wow.

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