Relationships – that is my word for 2020. I love goals, action/strategic plans and all that stuff. I hear the groans, but I am a sucker for a good planner. Plus I don’t actually achieve many of my lofty ambitions, but I like the thought and planning behind it all. I just happen to suck at the execution. “To thine own self be true.” Yep, execution is my Achilles heel.
I have tried this picking a word to be my theme for the year. In 2019 about midway, I chose “journey” because I was on quite the journey. This year, my word is “relationships”. The more I have been thinking about this word, the more I like it. There is so much I need to do with various relationships in my life, but two are first and foremost: money and food.
I need to improve my relationship with money so I never get myself in dire straits due to my own foolish spendthrift ways. I would like to say that I am cured, but I am not. I have bills to pay, savings to create, a retirement looming sooner than I care to admit. My 401k paints a pretty rosy picture if I croak by 84. I would like to see 90 plus what if the stock market tanks again or I have significant health issues? I need a back-up/margin of error/robust savings.
I started with You Need a Budget. Shit, it is a mind teaser. Since I failed Accounting in college and barely scraped by Economics (mostly because I was sleeping with a grad student who tutored me through it), this struggle with YNAB is not too surprising. But my brain needs to learn new things, so I will push through. It is encouraging (?) to see folks on the FB page confessing it took them several tries before it clicked.
Next on my relationship list is food. My relationship with food is improving. I have never eaten as healthy as I am eating today. Corinne Crabtree, the weight loss coach, said something so true about my food choices. She said that if it came from the ground or has eyes, eat that. That is basically the most diet advice she gives. This has been what I have been focused on doing lately. Good, natural food – no processed meats, reduced meat, no processed foods with additives, preservatives and the like. I am following along with the Mediterranean Diet guidelines which hopefully will yield results.
I have my sugar addiction (another relationship, but a bad one) tamed for the moment. I cook virtually all of my food. Take-out is non-existent with me and dining out is a big, rare treat. However, like any addict, I know I could lapse easily.
Right now my brain has been telling me to have a drink after work. It’s a new mind worm from my inner devil. I rarely drink and my brain is saying, “Have a cosmo and unwind.” Yeah, that cosmo is full of sugar. Then it swaps to “then have some red wine because that is on the Mediterranean Diet”. Yeah, I have a $20 bottle, nothing cheap and I don’t drink enough to make it worthwhile to open it. I don’t want those extra calories. Ugh.
Just like any addict, I need to take it one day at a time. I need to divert my mind from the cravings. I need to plan, make healthy choices and think calmly about how my stomach feels before and after a meal. Not too full either way is my goal.
I gained 15 pounds last year due to stress eating. I have to stop gobbling food and drinking when I am stressed or happy. I must learn to treat food only as fuel and not my dopamine fix. That is one of my key relationship goals this year.
Tied to the weigh issue is another relationship for me to improve: my body/health. I love my body, no matter how much she weighs. She has given birth to two beautiful, healthy kids. She has remained healthy no matter how poorly I have treated her. I need to treat her better by getting into shape, getting complete physicals and making sure her fuel is top-notch. Otherwise how will I hit 90?
In a moment of inspired insanity, I committed to running a corporate 5k run in April. I have started training this week. I want to run with all my colleagues. My boss is a fitness empress — she’ll run that damn thing in about 10 minutes. I just want to finish it without paramedics. I am using the None 2 Run program for this insane goal.
Personal relationships fall into my 2020 goals also. I want to make new friends in my new locale plus maintain the existing ones. I have a distant cousin nearby that my Aunt recently told me about. I have her phone number, so I need to call her and see where that leads. There is a lot to be thought about in personal relationships, so more will come as the year moves forward. The Hunter and I have had some interesting conversations as we feel out this new phase of our relationship. Hey, Love – I am talking about us – LOL.
2019 was a big year of change for me. I truly want 2020 to be one of re-grouping. That is why I like my word. Relationships tie into this re-grouping and re-centering as I settle down into my next chapter.
What is your word?