I have been working my way through Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed. It is a great read. Sometimes I find her to be a sage, other times she annoys me, but she is always thought-provoking. In my mind, that’s an all around win.
The book has an interesting format. It is part memoir but the bulk of it is a series of short essays on life. I just finished a couple. I find this book to be like a rich meal. Just little bites and then digest. Repeat. Today I read several and am now ruminating on them. In one she writes about the Hebrew word, selah. Glennon writes,
Selah is the holy silence when the recipient of transformational words, music …. pauses long enough to be changed forever.Glennon Doyle, Untamed.
Perhaps, for me, the pandemic aloneness (not isolation or loneliness) is my selah. A pause. A moment to reflect and even be bored so I can spark my own creativity and pursue some endeavors that may have otherwise been ignored or undiscovered.
My selah is not going to necessarily be holy or spiritual in nature. Who knows, maybe it will. But I am being given a pause and space to reflect, organize my life both physically and financially and now pursue small projects that could bring joy, meaning and/or closure in my life.
I have to remember how incredibly fortunate I am to be in this place. A small, tucked-away place where I am safe, housed, employed, financially secure and content while the crazy storm of politics and pandemic rage around me. I need to double down on my gratitude and use it to create beauty for me and others.
I have found myself kicking up my retail therapy of late. That needs to stop. I replaced some clothes and shoes and had an Ikea moment. I have enough abundance. Shopping does not fill any emptiness I might be feeling. I just purged my apartment and got rid of more stuff than I imagined possible (box of books, bags of clothes and more). I need to turn off the TV or at least ration the amount I watch. Get it down to an hour during the weekdays and maybe a little more over the weekend.
Most of all I need to continue to look inside myself and enjoy the company of me, myself and I. I have plenty of work to do around my apartment. Projects that will bring beauty and closure into my life along with joy for others. How lucky am I to have the space for these things? Let me embrace this time and find ways to fill it with meaningful activities. For now, excuse me. My laundry is calling… LOL.