Making friends as an adult seems to get harder as the years go by. I have written about this before. Anyway, this week I made concerted efforts. I went to a Meetup group of lovely professional women and followed up with those I met. I invited one new Meetup person, plus four ladies from work to join me at a free concert. No takers, so I went by myself because I’ll be damned if I will sit at home.
The weekend ended up pleasantly busy. I had shopping to do, an apartment to be cleaned, food prep to be done. Plus I enjoyed two lovely morning walks. One involved a Farmers Market. I was definitely busy.
I think what caused some melancholy is when I went through my phone contacts to dig out addresses to send “change of address” cards. There was so much crap. The vast majority where business-related from my former life, acquaintances from the married life and very little substance. I only have a dozen or so family and friends that merit a card.
I have told myself to be patient. Making friends is much like dating. I have to get myself out there with the right groups of people. I can’t expect immediate results. I appear to be one of the older residents at my apartment complex. I’m actually fine with that. I just have to continue to do activities I enjoy and friends will follow….I think. I am lucky because I am fine with flying solo at most activities, so I won’t sit at home if I don’t want to. I am not asking for much – just 2-3 new friends. Wish me luck!
We are breathing a sigh of relief around here. The Hunter found the perfect apartment for him and the Kracken. Ground floor overlooking a lake with a screened patio and screen door. He’s excited about it. The lease is signed and he can start moving in this week. Whew! I must say I was getting a bit worried.
He had a banner day today. His consulting project is going gang busters with the potential of adding services for another division. They are thrilled with his work.
We talked about how things are unwinding between us. We don’t know how things will go, but the Hunter wants us to always be the best of friends. I like that. I like knowing that we will always have each other’s back. It is comforting. However, there are limits. He rolled his eyes and groaned when I batted my eyes and asked for help assembling my new Ikea dresser. LOL
He is thinking about furnishings for his new place. We are divvying up some things here. I may still end up having a damn garage sale. For now, it is time to be grateful that the Hunter has found a home.
I spent Memorial Day weekend at the beachside town I have been visiting with my family for over 28 years. It was my first overnight visit in over 5 years. My first post-divorce stay.
My Ex began coming back to this town about 1-2 years ago. I was glad he did. He has been visiting with his fiancee and our son. It holds special memories for all of us. To put it in perspective, this is where I have told my kids to sprinkle my ashes when I’m gone.
I was the third wheel with my girlfriend and her husband. They had never vacationed here, so I was able to provide some tour guiding assistance. I was careful not to be too pushy with my advice and let them suss out what they wanted to do.
I was so happy to drive up by myself. I brought my bike and pedaled around a couple of times. We hit some of my favorite spots for dinner, but not all of them. They are low-key, so we didn’t hit the busy places or the bars. I would have enjoyed an evening of live music and drinks, but that didn’t happen.
The weather was perfect. Our beach house was ideal for the three of us and their dog. I spent my days walking, biking — busy and I felt really good the entire trip.
This place brings back happy memories. My Ex and I rarely fought here. It was a place of peace. As my blog title explains, this place has always been about Family, Recharging and Nature — the beach is breathtaking. My drive up and back was relaxing. I stopped at a waterfront restaurant and enjoyed an amazing view and a delicious meal. My friends were chill and fun. My room was cozy.
I spent a weekend completely at peace. The Hunter fucked me silly before I left. I wish I had taken my vibe, but that’s OK. The walls might be a little too thin for that. LOL.
The weekend was the perfect buffer between ending Maggie & Co. and starting my new job. I had a full day at home to shop and cook before starting my new job. I felt fully prepared and eager to get going.
As I sat on the beautiful beach, I prayed, “May God grace me yet again with the opportunity to correct my mistakes and begin again.” Then I enjoyed a walk down the beautiful beach. I was already in heaven….
He said it first. The Hunter called me yesterday and said we needed to talk. I agreed. He doesn’t want to move when the time comes. We agreed our relationship has run its course, but we don’t want to be angry or bitter. We still care about each other.
He asked that we hold all of this for a face-to-face conversation, but he’s relieved that we are both approaching this like adults. Me too.
We had a brief chat before I had to head out to some appointments. He had two concerns:
- Was there someone else in my life? Of course the answer is an emphatic No.
- He needs time to get his shit together so he can figure out his living situation. We talked about the timing and he was relieved that he had almost six months.
It was a low-key, friendly conversation. I had to leave because I had a busy afternoon out and about, so I got home late. We didn’t have much of a chance to talk last night.
This morning we fucked and went to breakfast. Funny, right? OK, OK, I know the sex is suppose to stop after a relationship is ending, but right now he’s not using it to keep me around. He just wants to fuck. Afterwards he sighed and said, “How can we get along so well but don’t want to be together?” We both chuckled. We both agreed that living apart would be best and that we would see where things would go with the relationship, but our friendship would continue.
When we first moved in together, we had agreed that we were adults and we would live together until we didn’t want to. That time has come. Now it will be interesting to see how things morph and shift during the next six months. Will he be able to stand on his own two feet? I hope so, because I will be withdrawing my safety net during this time.
This is just one more piece of my life that is getting sorted out as it should. It’s a no stress, low drama ending to a relationship that has run its course. My stars are aligning. This is my time. My second chance — now let me take full advantage of it and not blow it!
Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash
Wow, this is Blog Post 402 or something like that — 400 blog posts. What an accomplishment! Congratulations to me!
As I read back through some of them, I was searching for some answers, some patterns and just exploring what has been on my mind since I started writing. Here are some of the themes that have emerged:
- Between work, the place I was renting and money struggles, I have been under a great deal of stress.
- That all leads to the fact that I haven’t been very happy.
- I’m not doing that much these days — work, write, read. I don’t have many friends that I spend time with.
- Income instability has reached a peak, but I hope to change that soon.
- This blog started out about my sexual awakening and it woke up, that’s for sure, however, my “dating maturity” was that of a teenager. Live and learn, live and learn. I have done that as well.
Anyway, back to this wonderful blog. It gives me great joy. Joy to write down my thoughts and feelings in a safe place. Joy to meet the wonderful people who comment and whose blogs I follow. Joy to feel creative. Thank you all.