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Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

My Beach Read

My beach read for my recent trip was “The Naked Truth” by Leslie Morgan.  That damn bitch wrote my book.  Actually she wrote the Hollywood version of my book.

She’s doing the newly divorced 50ish woman re-discovering her sexuality with a flair that only privileged white women can do.  That’s my snarky side peeking out.

Leslie is a beautiful, fit, successful writer with two homes.  That hussy was living the dream — my dream — in her memoir.  OK, enough of my green-eyed monster.  Give me a minute and let me tuck my monster away….

OK, I’m back.  Leslie was right on point.  Her pain, her honesty, her humor but mostly her blinding candor made this book a great read for me.  It reminds me that women in our 50’s with an empty (or nearly empty) nest really need to spend some time discovering and uncovering ourselves (pun intended).

No spoilers.  If you have a chance to grab the book, you’ll spend some time with someone who automatically feels like a friend.  Here are some of my favorite quotes – no spoilers, I promise.

“I was crazy about men now the way Lyon had loved each of his high school hookups.  Including me.  Each of the men in my life was a chip of self-worth, helping me rebuild myself”

“Ever ask yourself what are you really looking for, honey?  Sometimes it seems like you’re willing to pay an awfully steep price in order to feel loved.  That’s what you always say about your first marriage — that the definition of an abuse victim is someone who pays too high a ransom in exchange for love.”    This one hit home for me.

Sara (this is her therapist) had warned me to be careful.  She cautioned that the first serious relationship following a divorce can be more intense than the marriage itself, because after a divorce, you are raw and broken and filled with hope that the next time, you’re going to find lasting love to make up for the love you lost.”  Damn, did that ring true.

“You know it sounds to me like Jake (her boyfriend) is your burn ointment.  Your sexual healing after years of Marty’s (her Ex) sabotage.  But that doesn’t mean he’s your soul mate.  Each man you date now is a building block for your self-esteem.  Not the foundation.  Don’t confuse the two.”  Damn, I need her therapist.  That woman is worth her weight in gold.

“Withholding emotion is a form of manipulation.”  Yeah, I may be guilty of this…

“Part of this journey was, obviously, that I had to learn and re-learn that the way I allowed men to treat me was up to me, and only me. I had to thread a particularly challenging needle:  to find validation from men in my life without completely giving myself over to them.”  Yep, still working on that.

“You grew up in an alcoholic home.  Fundamentally, this means that the people who loved you, who were supposed to take care of you, didn’t protect you.  It’s why you are so independent, and yet paradoxically susceptible to abuse and manipulation by those closest to you.”   This was a biggie for me.  My family wasn’t necessarily an alcoholic home, but it was dysfunctional.  Something to ponder further.

Anyway, buy Leslie’s book.  We divorced nymphomaniacs need to stick together.

Naked Truth

4 Years Ago….

I can hardly believe that it’s been four years since the Hunter and I first began noticing each other which lead to dating and rapidly behind that living together.  Four years…  If you want to wander down memory lane, you can read about our first couple of dates in these posts:

I have been thinking of that because we just returned from a 4-night camping trip at the same spot.  It was lovely.  I relaxed and enjoyed it.  We biked, did a little hiking, had a couple of day trips.  We were busy but not too busy.  Our campsite was pleasant and the Kracken was fun to have around.  We got home before New Years Eve so the Hunter can shoot off his fireworks (big kid that he is).  I reminded him that our News Years fuckfest will need to happen before midnight because when we got all sexy last year at midnight, we kept getting interrupted by my kids.  He laughed and agreed.

I haven’t been working, but I have been thinking and planning.  Today I was spending some time thinking about 2018 accomplishments both personal and professional.  I had some good ones.  I’m actually doing better than I was in 2017 and I need to pat myself on the back for that.  Some of my highlights:

  • On the business side, I made good progress gaining new clients and keeping up on my business development stuff.  Better than I perhaps give myself credit for.
  • I transferred stuff to QuickBooks and got it up and running.
  • I didn’t borrow any $$ which was my plan at the beginning of the year.  Instead I cut expenses and managed my $$ better.  Not easy, definitely stressful, but less expensive.
  • On the personal side, I moved out of the previous place we hated and kicked the old landlord’s ass regarding our security deposit.  Thank goodness!!
  • I de-cluttered dramatically and it feels fantastic.
  • We got a housekeeper (thank you, Hunter!)

2019 is going to be the year of Enrichment.  I’ll write more about that later.  For now, Happy New Year and remember:  Sex either before or after the Magic Countdown Moment because otherwise you will be interrupted at the most inopportune time….

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Photo by Dan Whale on Unsplash

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