"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Archive for the ‘Books’ Category

My Beach Read

My beach read for my recent trip was “The Naked Truth” by Leslie Morgan.  That damn bitch wrote my book.  Actually she wrote the Hollywood version of my book.

She’s doing the newly divorced 50ish woman re-discovering her sexuality with a flair that only privileged white women can do.  That’s my snarky side peeking out.

Leslie is a beautiful, fit, successful writer with two homes.  That hussy was living the dream — my dream — in her memoir.  OK, enough of my green-eyed monster.  Give me a minute and let me tuck my monster away….

OK, I’m back.  Leslie was right on point.  Her pain, her honesty, her humor but mostly her blinding candor made this book a great read for me.  It reminds me that women in our 50’s with an empty (or nearly empty) nest really need to spend some time discovering and uncovering ourselves (pun intended).

No spoilers.  If you have a chance to grab the book, you’ll spend some time with someone who automatically feels like a friend.  Here are some of my favorite quotes – no spoilers, I promise.

“I was crazy about men now the way Lyon had loved each of his high school hookups.  Including me.  Each of the men in my life was a chip of self-worth, helping me rebuild myself”

“Ever ask yourself what are you really looking for, honey?  Sometimes it seems like you’re willing to pay an awfully steep price in order to feel loved.  That’s what you always say about your first marriage — that the definition of an abuse victim is someone who pays too high a ransom in exchange for love.”    This one hit home for me.

Sara (this is her therapist) had warned me to be careful.  She cautioned that the first serious relationship following a divorce can be more intense than the marriage itself, because after a divorce, you are raw and broken and filled with hope that the next time, you’re going to find lasting love to make up for the love you lost.”  Damn, did that ring true.

“You know it sounds to me like Jake (her boyfriend) is your burn ointment.  Your sexual healing after years of Marty’s (her Ex) sabotage.  But that doesn’t mean he’s your soul mate.  Each man you date now is a building block for your self-esteem.  Not the foundation.  Don’t confuse the two.”  Damn, I need her therapist.  That woman is worth her weight in gold.

“Withholding emotion is a form of manipulation.”  Yeah, I may be guilty of this…

“Part of this journey was, obviously, that I had to learn and re-learn that the way I allowed men to treat me was up to me, and only me. I had to thread a particularly challenging needle:  to find validation from men in my life without completely giving myself over to them.”  Yep, still working on that.

“You grew up in an alcoholic home.  Fundamentally, this means that the people who loved you, who were supposed to take care of you, didn’t protect you.  It’s why you are so independent, and yet paradoxically susceptible to abuse and manipulation by those closest to you.”   This was a biggie for me.  My family wasn’t necessarily an alcoholic home, but it was dysfunctional.  Something to ponder further.

Anyway, buy Leslie’s book.  We divorced nymphomaniacs need to stick together.

Naked Truth

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This Year

This year is gonna be incredible
This year is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year I’m gonna have fun
This year I’ll paint my masterpiece
This year I’ll be recognized
I can feel
I’ll fall in love for real
This year, this year

A-Teens

On the Saturday after Christmas, I hosted a party for 7 girlfriends plus my daughter so we could make Vision Boards for 2015. Let me take a second to explain Vision Boards because they are a variation of New Year’s Resolutions or Goal Setting. Here is an excerpt from Jack Canfield:

Because your mind responds strongly to visual stimulation-by representing your goals with pictures and images-you will actually strengthen and stimulate your emotions… and your emotions are the vibrational energy that activates the Law of Attraction. The saying “A picture is worth a thousand words,” certainly holds true here.

Find pictures that represent or symbolize the experiences, feelings, and possessions you want to attract into your life, and place them in your board. Have fun with the process! Use photographs, magazine cutouts, pictures from the Internet–whatever inspires you. Be creative. Include not only pictures, but anything that speaks to you.

This is the first party in my 1-1/2 years of living on my own. It was awesome. We started at 2:00 and ended at 6:00 so I could get my daughter to the airport. We drank champagne, cut out words and pictures, talked and just enjoyed one another’s company. I started a Facebook group for us so we can track our progress.

The women raved over my place. It is cute, homey, feminine and an excellent expression of me. I took my time and thought about what I wanted. I have a few tweaks to make but overall I adore my place. Even men have commented how much they like it. BG thinks it’s awesome.

In 2015 I want more parties at my place. I’m ready now. Living by myself has been awesome. I have never truly lived alone. Roommates, spouse, son – I have always had someone in or around. Now I’m flying solo more with my son away at school and I have been reveling in this solitude. But it is time to re-enter society. I want to have some small brunch and dinner parties. I want to expand my circle of friends. I envision some quasi business dinners to deepen relationships, some brunches to relax and chat, game nights for the competitive side of me, walk to the nearby restaurants, bars and movies for variety. There is so much to do in my little oasis, so it’s time to get off my ass and get going.

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