"Love My Way, It's a New Road"


I am in neutral gear.  I don’t feel stuck, but I do feel like I am just idling.  I haven’t tackled my debt situation aggressively.  I have money sitting in the bank waiting to be sent to the IRS for my tax bill.  I haven’t gone into hyper-frugal mode, although I must pat myself on the back for also not spending money on frivolous things.  I have been ignoring my bank account and managing my money.

On the plus side, I did complete my 401k rollover and closed my personal 401k which saves me $$.  I am enrolled in my company 401k so I can get their full match and I adjusted my withholding at work.  I have stayed out of stores for the most part which is important because I am an over-spender.  I feel like I am over-spending on groceries.  I haven’t been wasting much food, however, so I tell myself that I am still gathering my basics.  That excuse has come to an end because my cupboards are full.  I am not eating out more than twice a month (when I pay my way).  I simply haven’t taken any bold action steps on the money front.

What do I need to do on the money front?

  • Make a nice payment to the IRS so I see some aggressive progress.  I could pay off about 30% of it right now.  I need to simply get off my ass, login and do it.
  • Jump on QuickBooks and get my Maggie & Co. books updated.  In order to immediately file my tax returns in January, I need to start the prep work now, so it won’t be overwhelming come January.
  • Move some money into my hidden emergency fund stash so it isn’t in my general checking account where it could be more at risk of being accidentally spent.
  • Tell the Hunter he needs to pay me for the work I have done.  He apparently is having a cash flow issue, but that’s not my concern.  He needs to pay me, however, I need to ask also.
  • Reconcile how my spending is going in November.  I did this for October and it was a helpful snapshot of understanding where my money is going.

When I read the above accomplishments, I have to step back and say, “wait a minute, I did get quite a bit of stuff done!”  Maybe I am just being hard on myself and I am being impatient again.

Next I have my weight loss efforts also stuck in idle.  I have taken some positive steps.  I get to the apartment gym every morning for 30 minutes with 40-45 minute walks on both Saturday and Sunday.  I alternate between weights and cardio with an emphasis on weights/resistance.

I have shifted my diet to more plant-based, no processed foods.  I make my own hummus (super easy), beans (black and kidney), and I am food prepping regularly to eliminate the opportunity to make bad choices.  I have no more cold cuts, little meat (once a day if we don’t count eggs).  I focus on veggies with some fruit.  I still have some Greek yogurt, limited carbs (rice, pasta, sprouted grain bread, etc.) and sugar.  Ah, sugar.  The crack cocaine of my life.  It sneaks in daily.

I have started listening to some podcasts for inspiration.  I found two that resonate with me.  One is the pragmatic, professional “Cut the Fat” with Blythe Wagner and Ray Hinish.  They do not advocate one diet plan over another, and after two episodes I find that I like what they have to say.

The other podcast that speaks to me is by crazy, foul-mouth Corinne Crabtree’s podcast called “Losing 100 lbs with Phit-n-Phat”.  She is a life/diet coach and yes, she is always trying to sell you her coaching, but she also talks about mindset, creating good habits and she reads the same business books I have read.  I like the fact that she is taking the concepts of big productivity and mindset authors to apply with her Tribe of clients.  She likes Grant Cardone’s 10x, Jon Acuff’s Finish and more. She wants you to shift your mindset, so she talks a lot about the why of emotional eating.  I have figured out my over-eating has a lot to do with emotions.

The first step with Corinne is planning.  I can’t even do that yet.  I downloaded her free pdf to get started and I can’t even commit to planning what I will eat for the next 24 hours.  Sigh.  I have good intentions but then the Hunter comes over as he leaves on a hunting trip, we have an unexpected free lunch at work, someone brought in pastries.  You can see I am chock full of excuses, so I realize that I don’t have my mindset, my WHY, my determination to begin. That makes me sad and disappointed.

I am also realizing that this is a life shift and my weight loss journey will be a long one.  It will require patience and that is something in low supply for me.  I need to be kinder to myself.  This post by Steve Pavlina was helpful.

I must do it.  Fuck, the Hunter weighs less than me right now and that was a very sad moment for me.  I just need to sit down, figure out my WHY and then get to it.  I have started reading Sheri Salata’s book, A Perfect No, and it is speaking to me.  I plan on losing myself in that book this weekend after my walk, of course.

I wrote this earlier today and as I prepare this for posting, I realize what I need.  Patience.  A heck of a lot more patience with myself.  Life is a journey, not a sprint, so I just need to make sure that every day I am doing what I need to do and try to improve my lifestyle by 1%.  Just 1% because the results will accumulate. That’s from my potty-mouth diva, Corrine.


Photo by Mourad Saadi on Unsplash


Comments on: "Stuck?’" (7)

  1. One day at a time

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve started working out too. I try to do every other day… And I do a tape that is cardio and weights. I’m just starting but I already feel better… And that’s all the parameters I want to put around it right now

    Liked by 1 person

  3. […] realization I had while reading her book is I figured out what is up with neutral gear in my reset.  I need a new map.  My map for 2019 was about finding my […]


  4. […] From listening to my podcasts, I recognize that weight loss is a journey and not a number.   I need to create […]


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