"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Archive for October, 2019

My Place

I love my little apartment. It is up-to-date with granite countertops and modern appliances. I have privacy because my apartment backs up to a landscaped area.

My belongings fit nicely. My bedroom is cozy. I need to work on some lighting in the living area, get rid of the photo/memorabilia crap, but my new reclining sofa is comfy. The place is mine – just mine.

I cleaned it from top to bottom last week. It took 2 hours. It’s not hard to keep it tidy throughout the week. Everything has a place.

I have been cooking on Sunday for the week ahead. I am realizing I don’t need much. Right now my frig is full and I’m preparing all my meals. Thankfully I enjoy leftovers.

I am using the amenities. I hit the gym every morning and usually sit by the pool for an hour or two on the weekend.

Life is good.


Here I sit on my balcony watching the sun set. I just polished off a cosmo. A gentle breeze is wafting over me. I am so peaceful and happy and that is not just due to the alcohol.

I have been crunching my numbers to extricate myself from my debt hole. It is all falling into place. I will hopefully be debt free (excluding car) by next summer. My burden is lifting.

I rolled my 401k into the company plan thus eliminating all the fees and responsibilities I had. According to their calculator, I will be fine if I continue as planned. My fingers are crossed. I don’t want to fall back on my kids.

I have been going to the gym EVERY weekday. I only have 30 minutes, but I try to makes them count. Add in longer walks on the weekend and this week I finally feel a difference in my strength. The scale hasn’t budged, but fuck the scale for now.

I feel joy, a lightness and such incredible relief. I am so very thankful. So let me enjoy this breeze that is finally bringing hints of Fall and be grateful for this reset. Thank you, Karma. I am blessed.

Cranking up the Social Life

Making friends as an adult seems to get harder as the years go by. I have written about this before. Anyway, this week I made concerted efforts. I went to a Meetup group of lovely professional women and followed up with those I met. I invited one new Meetup person, plus four ladies from work to join me at a free concert. No takers, so I went by myself because I’ll be damned if I will sit at home.

The weekend ended up pleasantly busy. I had shopping to do, an apartment to be cleaned, food prep to be done. Plus I enjoyed two lovely morning walks. One involved a Farmers Market. I was definitely busy.

I think what caused some melancholy is when I went through my phone contacts to dig out addresses to send “change of address” cards. There was so much crap. The vast majority where business-related from my former life, acquaintances from the married life and very little substance. I only have a dozen or so family and friends that merit a card.

I have told myself to be patient. Making friends is much like dating. I have to get myself out there with the right groups of people. I can’t expect immediate results. I appear to be one of the older residents at my apartment complex. I’m actually fine with that. I just have to continue to do activities I enjoy and friends will follow….I think. I am lucky because I am fine with flying solo at most activities, so I won’t sit at home if I don’t want to. I am not asking for much – just 2-3 new friends. Wish me luck!

Fast Lane

I sent an email to my property manager about some general maintenance items. Nothing major, but things they need to address in the common areas (vacuuming the gym carpet was a big one). My email was ultra friendly and not whiny. This always yields the desired result.

One of my issues is the gate clicker. The damn thing rarely works for me. I am sure this is completely user-related and nothing to do with the clicker, and I said so in my email. The property manager graciously offered her senior building engineer up to instruct me on how to open the damn gate. Our lesson is tomorrow.

I was just thinking about this and chuckling to myself. This poor man. He has no idea. When Florida installed their Sunpass automated toll program, I am the reason they got rid of the toll arms in those lanes. I took out two to three of those damn arms with my minivan. My kids cringed when we approached an on-ramp. Hilarious!!

Tomorrow he will meet Danica Patrick (aka me) and it will be vastly entertaining.

What Do You Call It When…?

What can we call my relationship with the Hunter?  We are considering ourselves still a monogamous couple albeit living separately.  The sex has been great.  Sleeping alone and having our own space is also great.  We talk and text several times a day.

He was the first person I called when I had a spider crawling across my car’s touchscreen as I headed down a rush hour highway last week.  I killed that arachnid with my cute umbrella after trying my Yeti full of coffee.  The Yeti just wasn’t the right weapon.

I am the first person he calls when he’s happy, frustrated, etc.  He sends me a good morning text, usually calls during my commute and sends a good night text as well.  The man is lovingly attentive, I must say.

Are you waiting for a “but…”?  Nope, I don’t have one.  I am just going with the flow.  I am not trying to define this or create rules or anything else.  I am just in the moment.

We have plans to spend Thanksgiving with some of his family.  I will spend Christmas with Taz and my son while he takes off on a road trip with the Kracken.  We have been seeing each other 2-3 times a week.  Like I said above, the sex is great.  I may have stumbled onto the right combination for us.  Time will tell.


Job Stability

Job stability is always an issue.  I don’t care who, what, when or where you work — job stability should always be lurking in the back of your mind.  It’s on my mind right now for several reasons.

  1.  My first review and goal-setting is coming up.  When I look into 2020, I have things that will keep me barely occupied.  Not enough in my estimation.  2021 has some good projects but not too earth-shattering for my position.
  2. My company is about to lay off some folks.  It’s a group that hasn’t been producing income.  Gulp.
  3. I finally got the overdue money from Maggie & Co.  This will help my IRS bill fortunately.  I have to chat with my accountant before I go crazy and send the IRS a big payment, but I’m looking forward to it.

I have mentioned to my boss twice that I “still have some capacity” for additional work.  She hasn’t come up with anything extra for me. I would like to stretch and be busier than I am, but after two mentions it is time for me to shut up.  Sometimes I am just sitting  reading the NY Times or some online BS.  I hate that.  I am just not a person who enjoys being paid to do nothing.  It worries me.

Granted, this is a brand new role and they haven’t had someone in it.  I have worked on several things and have some other long-term projects that I can pick at, but there really isn’t a tremendous work flow.  At least not a work volume that I am accustomed to.  I am not too worried.  My boss seems to like me tremendously and I have won over my admin (remember, she was the one who ignored me for the first 30-45 days).

Perhaps this goal-setting review process will help, but I have never seen those exercises produce any meaningful insights.  For now, I will revel in a steady paycheck, a 10 minute commute and great health insurance.  Hopefully I will get my financial house in order quickly and be ready for whatever comes next.  I am very, very grateful for what I have. When I added up my Maggie & Co income, it would not have sustained me this year.  Yes, I am very fortunate for this second chance.  Thank you!


Photo by Carl Heyerdahl on Unsplash

Almost Done

Good grief, I am still unpacking. I took a respite so I could wrap up at the old place, find a sofa and re-stock my pantry and frig. However, the new place was still cluttered with boxes and that doesn’t sit well with me.

My goal this week was a box a night. But being the occasional over-achiever, I’ve knocked out 8 over the two nights. I can’t find my damn cheese grater. I had 2 before the move and both are MIA. One went to the Hunter, I think. I might steal it back.

I still have crap I look at and say, “Why the heck am I dragging this around?” I was asking myself the “Does this spark joy?” until I was morose. LOL – it wasn’t that bad.

I wrapped up with the bookcase and personal papers/office stuff. Now I can move on to artwork. I am eager to get things on the walls.

I found a beautiful used sofa that is exactly what I want. It looks brand new and I got it for a fraction of its original cost. It will be delivered tomorrow. Very exciting final piece of my home. I haven’t had a sofa for 18 months. Yep, no sofa. I don’t recommend it.

The new place is steadily coming together. I just need to stay focused on unpacking and organizing. I feel better without the boxes. The Hunter volunteered to organize my storage closet which will be a huge help.

I am telling myself that I need to pay attention to my stuff over the next year. When I move, I always hang my clothes so the hanger is backwards. After I wear something, it is hung correctly. After a year, I can see what I use and what I can donate. I want to do something similar with all my stuff. “Use it or lose it” is my new mantra because I really want to lighten my load.

Next up, how to let go of things chock full of sentimental value and absolutely no practical usefulness. Not like I have any answers for that, but it will be the next conundrum of downsizing.

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