I ate some carbs (and sugar) and calmed down after my meltdown yesterday. I’m still frustrated, but I also recognize that when you have been doing the same thing for 27 years, you can’t suddenly bounce out of it.
My fuse was almost re-lit when I read a job posting that said “If you are up and coming” HELLO AGE BIAS THERE YOU F*#ING PUBLICLY TRADED COMPANY!! But I took a breath and moved on…sort of.
One idea I had would be to go into a training/mentoring role with a big company. I mean over 30 years (a few admin years prior to my 27 year focus) of experience should be helpful to those “up and coming” folks. Plus I like Millennials. Seriously. Now, how do I craft that? The Hunter thinks it should be a consulting/coaching role. I don’t know because those poor rookies are usually broke. It’s better to be in-house. But it’s an idea worth exploring perhaps with Coach.
I got references from three of Coach’s clients. They were glowing and two were very much about shifting to new careers. It made me feel better about signing up with him. Yesterday’s meldown solidified that I do need some help. Plus I had a couple of interesting follow-up thoughts:
- I am not melting into a depressive, non-communicative funk that I was doing previously. If I had that kind of a meltdown 1-2 years ago, I would have sat on the couch and sulked for a day or two. Now I am a bit too busy. After tears and anger, I had 30 seconds to collect myself in order to lead a conference call on an upcoming event. I pulled it off beautifully, if I do say so myself.
- The Hunter told me that he’s scared when I get like that. He is worried about my mental health. Yeah, so am I. He said it gently, but I appreciated that he voiced his feelings on it.
- He said that he understands my frustration because he’s living it too, but we’ll get through this. That was a better pep talk than, “there are folks worse off than you”. Seriously, when I’m ranting, that doesn’t work on me.
- Walking helps. Taking a walk in the beautiful park next door cleared my head, dried up my tears and gave me space to think. I watched a slight rain shower make beautiful patterns on the lake as I dried my tears and regained my composure.
- Karma is a beautiful creature right now. She filled my evening and day with clients who need my help and expertise and listen to my advice. Thank you.
My next step is to figure out cash flow so I can pay Coach. I’ll do that after I place a service call for my AC, it appears to have just broken. Sigh….