"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Did I Blow It?

The big lunch meeting with the CEO was yesterday.  How did it go?  I’m not sure.  I went into the lunch sick.  I have been feeling off most of the week and on Thursday, my body decided to just have a crisis centered on my left eye.  I got a sty in my left eye.  Have you ever had one of these?  This was my second.  It feels like a big grain of sand in your eye.

I woke up Friday with a red, swollen left eye.  Even though I had done hot compresses the night before.  The swollen, inflamed eye makes my nose drip like a faucet.  I felt lousy and not 100%.  More like 60%.  But there is nothing to be done.  I have to rally.

Fortunately Taz called me to chat about her visit next week.  She said to stop with the Neosporin, continue hot compresses and get some eyedrops pronto.  I added some Sudafed to dry me up.  The eye drops were awesome but my left eye is now hyper light sensitive.

I had an appointment prior to my lunch, but I got all my meds going so when I stepped into the restaurant, I felt human.  Oh, and I had to wear my glasses, not my contacts.  My new pair I ordered online are a little large for my face, but what choice did I have?  Time to power through and stop obsessing about my appearance.  I wore a great dress I love with an awesome necklace.  I looked great except for the protruding red eye. Game on.

Except I wasn’t sparkling.  Ask me a question and I gamely tackled it with great examples and explanations, but my natural curiosity was hiding.  By the time we hit coffee, I realized I have not been asking HIM any questions.  Shit.  I have seconds left to recover, so I mention to him how much I enjoyed a podcast interview he had done.  It surprised him.  He stammered that he thought it was too long and I said no, it was actually really interesting. I hope I scored a point there.

I did start out by quickly explaining that I had an eye infection, so apologies for the swollen eye.  I didn’t dwell on it.  I didn’t want to be a Drama Queen nor did I want to whine about feeling lousy.

During lunch he asked me why I started my own company.  He asked me what I focused my business development efforts on.  We talked about my writing for business development.  I talked about how I am able to make Maggie & Co present so professionally and appear larger than it really is.  He asked how I handled requests for services outside of my expertise and I explained how I had other independent folks to partner with. I explained that what I really want is a collaborative environment with more resources, but I don’t want to be the leader.  I want to be the co-pilot and put my head down and work hard.  I don’t know how that sat with him.

I followed up with a thank you email and added something about having researched the company extensively over the past several months and have spoken with numerous folks both in and out of the organization.  I hope that answered the question on why I didn’t ask any questions.  I gave a shout out to Queen Bee also (and copied her).

Now I am waiting again.  Will an Offer Letter come?  I don’t know.  Did I pass muster?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that my eye hurt like a motherfucker afterwards.  Today it feels better, but I still am light-sensitive, so I’ll stay inside and regroup.

I will continue to focus on Maggie & Co.  What choice do I have?  I’ll continue doing what I’m doing because it is bearing results.  If OppA comes to fruition, then so be it.  Oh, and as for OppB?  That dried up.  The guy didn’t move forward with his big expansion, never called me back and just like that it ghosted away.  I heard the news from my business coach, not him.  What a douche and thank goodness I didn’t hook my sails with him.

I get to spend a day with Taz next week as she breezes through on her way to a wedding.  We are planning a day at the beach.  I’m excited to see her.  Now let me go put another hot compress on my eye so I’ll be ready for a day in the sun.  Right now I feel like a friggin’ vampire — “the light, it burns….”


Photo by Samuel Scrimshaw on Unsplash

Comments on: "Did I Blow It?" (6)

  1. I’m sorry about the eye. I hope it gets better soon!
    As for Opp A… Que sera sera!
    I think you did everything right, now it’s not your choice any more, so relax and do what you normally best: be the brilliant and focused business woman you’ve always been (as far as I can see through your posts).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds to me like you aced it. You were direct and realistic. The CEO could plainly see you respond well under duress (your “eye”) and can come through in the clutch. Great job. Now just sit back and wait.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. […] since my fiasco of an interview with the OppA CEO, I haven’t been feeling good.  That eye infection moved on, but then I got […]


  4. […] an uncanny twist, she had been on my mind. I was thinking about my final interview with the CEO and how my eye decided to swell up with an infection. I was thinking about how this was my body […]


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