I’m cranky this morning and felt myself spiraling into a funk. This time I refuse to sink into it and I’m fighting it. I have so much to be grateful for — the week was a good one, even though a vicious migraine attempted to undermine me. Here’s the good stuff:
- Met two potential new clients and they are both lovely people
- I had a fabulous send-off lunch with Robin who starts her new job next week. She is happy, grateful and on the path to stability and great success.
- Work is going well
- The Hunter has taken over all dealings with our landlord (actually her boyfriend) and they get along great. I am amazed at how much relief this have given me.
- My daughter and son-in-law arrive next week so we’ll have some beach days followed by my son’s graduation. I’m excited to see everyone.
- I have figured out a couple of extra income gigs that won’t bring in a ton of $$ but at least they will be fun. I’ll start in June once we are settled. Now is not the time to add too much to my plate.
The things that have me anxious:
- Money — it’s always about money with me right now. I have lots of debt and not too much income coming in for now. I haven’t been able to confront my fears by sitting in front of the computer and calculating it all out.
- My computer is about to take a gigantic crap which has lead me to having to buy a new one today (more debt ugh). OK, I should be grateful that this laptop has survived 8 years with virtually no issues and I should be grateful that I qualified for an interest-free loan to buy the new one and the Hunter is paying for both my laptop and his new one. We are going cheap– we don’t need to launch a rocket with our computers, so cheap is fine. Yes, I researched and figured out what would work.
- Job search is flat — and it’s my fault. Actually I can’t say that. I have to send my resume to someone. I had a lunch with someone who is being recruited by the same firm recruiting me to set up an office in this area. It’s interesting, and I like the guy, but why do I need this firm? He has the same thoughts also. I’m having a meeting next week with their recruiting partner who is coming to town. I guess I should be grateful to my coach for the referral and to these folks for finding me interesting.
It really helps me to write this shit out because then I can sit back and say, “OK, Maggie, calm the fuck down.” I have had some stinkin’ thinking this morning about how poorly I have managed my career and that once the Hunter’s career shifts into stable prosperity he is going to dump my fat ass, that my ass is fat and I need to get my shit together and STOP EATING. Yeah, I am fighting the funk, but these are the things flying around on broomsticks in my brain.