"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Archive for July, 2017

FlipFlops

I had another dream.  Let’s pause for a moment — I usually don’t remember my dreams, so the fact that I’m remembering my dreams this week is remarkable in itself, but back to our scheduled post.  The dream was about me in a group of folks, a business meeting/gathering of a sort.  We were milling around, looking at a very large, newly designed commercial space.  I remember looking at the ceiling — it was a cool design of two wooden squares constructed of beams — kind of like a pergola but inside some type of hip, lofty space.  The focus of the dream was my shoes or rather my flipflops.  I was having shoe issues — one broke.  It was all torn up and when I pulled it off, I realized that it wasn’t my shoe at all and I was relieved, but also like, “Hey, what the heck?!”.  So, hey, what the heck does that all mean?

Back to my internet searching.  In general, shoes represent your approach to life. If you are forgetting shoes (which was part of my dream), you are leaving behind your inhibitions and refusing to conform to some idea/attitude.  I would agree with that because, heck, I was wearing flipflops in a business setting!

To see old and worn shoes, indicates that you will find success through hard work and diligence.  You have come to terms about who you are. To dream about inappropriate shoes for the occasion means that your progress and path in life will be long, hard and laborious.  Amen, sister.  That I agree with 100%.  I think part of wearing someone else’s shoes is about conforming to other people’s old, outdated expectations.   It could also mean you are headed in the wrong direction….hmmm, nope, I don’t think that’s it.

To see flipflops in your dream indicates you are feeling relaxed and at ease….or maybe you are indecisive about some issue/decision.   Yesterday was a good day.  I had a meeting with a potential new client that at the end of the day isn’t going to generate income.  I probably shouldn’t have taken the meeting, but I was itching to get out of the house.  They were great, very interesting and although it won’t result in immediate wealth and riches, they are good people to know.  I also got a couple of meeting invitations — always a good thing.  I ended the day late, but feeling relaxed and productive. Hmmm, but was my subconscious thinking about flipflops because the Kracken destroyed one of the Hunter’s new ones?  Oh yeah, the Kracken wreaked havoc on one of his shoes.  Although I was sad for the Hunter, I also had a glimmer of malicious satisfaction thinking, “Yep, you left them out overnight.”

flipflops

Nope, these aren’t the Hunters, but my dream flipflops broke the same spot…but were all navy blue which is what I wear around the house.

Thank you, DreamMoods.   Now, a message to my subconscious — how about some sexy Freudian dreams?  That would be fun!  OK, enough shadow dancing, let me get back to my hard labor.

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I Dreamed of a Black Snake

black snakeI had a very vivid dream last night about a black venomous snake.  The snake wasn’t hidden or slithering that much.  It was actually in a box and then it got out.  Other people around me were afraid of it and looking to me to handle the situation.  It was dangerous, I remember acknowledging that, but I felt in control of the situation and in charge of the snake.

The climax of the dream was that I was lying down preparing to go to sleep and the snake, which was still loose, comes up to me.  I open my eyes and it is by my face rearing up to prepare to strike.  I grab it behind its head and squeeze it tightly.  I get up and declare the I am going to kill this snake.  It no longer deserves to live, but I decide I won’t kill it.  I feel strong and powerful in my dream.  I woke up feeling like quite a badass.

What does all of this mean in my particular situation?  The Google wizards provided a host of websites and they provided some insight.

  • I’m sure it’s not Freudian — it’s phallic shape representing sex.  I am having some great sex but I’m not feeling temptation, repression or anything sexual.  This probably would have been a much more interesting post if it was sexual, so sorry, Dear Readers.
  • Snakes refer to hidden threats.  If the snake bites me then the dream is trying to alert me of something in my waking life that I am not aware of.  If I kill the snake, then this threat has passed or I have overcome it.  That’s interesting because apparently I am in the processing of overcoming it because I didn’t kill it, even thought I could???  I think this represents me controlling my anxiety, which I did last night by going to the gym and having a strong workout.
  • Snakes refer to fear ( and once again for me it’s that awful anxiety again).  They are unpredictable and can strike at any time without warning.  In this situation, the snake may represent something that is unpredictable or out of control.  I could be afraid of the unknown.  With my pipeline virtually empty of new clients (even though I have some great leads with some good potential but a very loooong timeline), I have been having anxiety about work, so I would agree with this.
  • Snakes can point to my creativity and potential (although I doubt that since I was squeezing it’s head and threatening to kill it).
  • Snakes tend to show up in dreams in times of transition and transformation.  A black snake is the dark power of deep transformations from my subconscious. The snake can indicate that I am in the process of healing and transforming.  I agree with this 100% since I am four years out from ending a 25-year marriage and now creating the life I want.
  • A black snake showing up in a dream means I am dealing with a difficult situation, unsettling emotions and I am having a power struggle in my waking life.  They can represent sadness and anxiety in my case.  This would be my work anxiety of late.  Absolutely agree 100% again.  Yesterday I was feeling a bit frustrated and anxious at the end of the day.
  • A key point is to remember is that a serpent in my sleep means I am symbolically receiving a wake up call from my subconscious.  
  • Black snake could be symbol of rejected aspects of my personality.  Points to a dimension of myself that has been avoided and needs to be exposed and dealt with.  Hmmm, that could be with my business development stuff and my relationship with money….
  • Black snakes represent a threat.  It could be challenging and I’m avoiding it.

I think that the snake is my anxiety and by not killing it, I am allowing myself to be anxious, but I am not allowing it to control me.  In conversations with Robin and my business coach today, I described my current state of affairs as being in the wide open ocean and I have to keep rowing because that is the only way to get to the shore.

So let me get back to rowing and kicking the ass of those black snakes…..

 

It’s My Birthday

Here I sit at a luxurious hotel pool in a sprawling daybed after a morning of indulgent spa treatments. Delicious.  There is nothing like the luxury of a high-end hotel.  I feel cosseted, rich and special.  The Hunter dropped me off partly to borrow my car but also to make me feel cared for.  My morning began with a huge bunch of sunflowers – a fave.

I am 4 years out from exiting my marriage.  I was thinking about that first birthday on my own.  I hadn’t started blogging. I made it special because I did what I wanted. A lovely massage where I cried tears of joy at my new freedom (I tipped the poor, confused masseuse well). I threw a great dinner party with a Southern theme and a hunky chef who made us all help (it was a quasi cooking class with copious amounts of wine). The next day I left on a 10-day road trip with my son & his BFF. We had a blast and I crossed the Len Hike Inn off my bucket list.

What a journey. Tomorrow I am having dinner with some dear friends at a restaurant that features live jazz – that is the Hunter’s gift to me. I spent the 4th having fun at a laidback, quirky town event followed by beach – I was in heaven.

Although I don’t have the income I want (patience & perseverance will prevail) and my current living quarters are not a home, my son living with us for the summer is proving to be a bit cramping on my sexual side, All of those things are temporary. I have my health, the Hunter and am surrounded by love.I feel relaxed and strong. 

I Need a Hobby

I was watching the HBO documentary “Read the Obits Before Breakfast” which features Carl Reiner and a bunch of 90-year-old youngsters discussing how they are so vibrant at such an advanced age.  They interviewed a geriatric expert for scientific background.  It all came down to staying busy and having a passion.

I don’t really have a passion – a hobby.  I putter on this blog, read, go to the gym and beach irregularly, but I don’t have that consuming passion.  In my youth, I took piano lessons for a year before switching to the violin for about 5 years.  I wasn’t a prodigy and just sawed away in the 2nd section quite contentedly.  I loved horseback riding but never had the mount or means to test my limits.  I ended up doing a lot of trail-riding although I dreamed of long-distance endurance competitions.  Horses are also way beyond my budget these days.

I enjoyed photography in college but not passionately.   With the kids, I sat on the sidelines of  ballet, soccer, flag football (all short-lived), lots of baseball, tons of horse shows and lacrosse.  I had no desire to jump in, with the exception of a brief equine flirtation.  

I’m boring.  When I moved out and got divorced, I thought it would be hiking.  I like hiking a lot, but it’s not my passion.  I have no interest in volunteer work – I did 2 petition drives this year and I’m done with that.  I need something that excites me like hunting for the Hunter.  He is all excited about his Fall hunt. He’s scouting, planning and I’m so happy for him. But what about me?

Let me think about it and I’ll report back……

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