"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

I’m Having a Meltdown

More will follow as I hash things out, but I pitched a world-class, shoe-throwing temper tantrum this morning all before coffee.  Let me set the stage:

I spent yesterday cleaning the house.  It was filthy and I was disgusted with the squalor.  I cleaned for about 4-5 hours.  Then after a quick dinner at a taco stand, I plopped in front of the tv.  Time slid and I didn’t take a shower, so I crawled into bed smelly after dosing on the couch most of the night.

My sleep-deprived self was awaken by the Hunter merrily announcing that the Kracken had gotten some of my shoes and there was a “shoe graveyard” in the living room.  WTF  – I asked what shoes? The Hunter merrily responds that I should come & see for myself.  Then he says, “let me grab my phone so I can record this”.  Boy, he misjudged the situation.

I go to the living room and there are my 4-month old $70 sneakers, wet with the laces stripped off and the inner sole ripped out of one.  My favorite pair of keds for around the house – one of them was completely destroyed.  Second fave pair of keds chewed but salvageable.  “You need to put your shoes away – you left them out and this is what happens,” the Hunter gleefully tells me.

I fucking popped a gasket.  I begin screaming, “Fucking  dog.  I’m sick of this.  I can’t have anything nice anymore”.  Then the shoes begin flying around the house as I picked them up.  I was very disappointed that they do not have the umpf and velocity of a baseball.  I wanted to break shit.The Hunter went silent.

I decided then and there I needed to get the fuck out of the house.  I took a shower got dressed and left.  The Hunter had disappeared on a walk with the Kracken so  I left a note.  I turned off my phone because I was beyond livid and needed some space.

I’ve been out of the house all day – from 9-4.  I have thought and written down my thoughts on why I got so mad.  I have shed a few tears, and I’m still pissed but calmer. I walked in the door to the smell of cigar smoke permeating the house from the Hunter’s mancave aka garage, my dog had pooped by the back door and a swept patio (it was on my To Do list). I’m trying to take deep breaths and not lash out just to be hateful.

I am waiting for my bottle of wine to chill and then I’m going to have a Roommate Check discussion with the Hunter.  I am not a happy camper about our living situation and aspects of our lifestyle.  I now realize that I really miss my little townhouse and perhaps in my haste to please him last summer, I over-compensated resulting in me simmering with low grade resentment.  It’s nothing that can’t be fixed — I just need my glass (or 2) of wine, put on my big girl panties and USE MY WORDS.  More to follow.


Comments on: "I’m Having a Meltdown" (4)

  1. Hugs and a offer to bring a shovel, trash bags, or alibi if needed! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] one of her insights.  Our attachments to certain things.  I told the story of my meltdown over my shoe graveyard one Sunday.  She completely understood.  We have a quirky attachment to our stuff.  We […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: