"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Archive for October, 2016

Losing Sucks

I was really hopeful that my largest client would follow me.  They chose to stay with my boss.  They have a good relationship with him — more than any of my other clients, so I shouldn’t be surprised.  Fortunately my business model was based on them NOT moving with me.  It hurts even more because our meeting was great.  I had brilliant ideas for some new innovative programs for them and Robin handled the meeting smoothly.  We left thinking it was in the bag, particularly when they told us our only competition was our old boss.  But it wasn’t meant to be. Nonetheless, this poured out of me after I got the call……

I’m so hurt. I wasn’t picked. After all my years of unrelenting dedication they picked him. Why? Fucking country club set. Are they just setting him up for failure so they can turn to me with no strings attached? I would like to think that is the case. I hope that’s the case, but only time can tell.

I have to remain classy. I have to go high even if my fucking boss probably went low. I wonder what he said to them. It doesn’t matter. They know me. They just like their good old boy chit chats with him. Can’t let a woman beat a man, now can we? It won’t work. He can’t stay focused long enough to make things happen there.

But I have to let them go so I can move on with my next chapter. I have to be unshackled so I can flourish and quite candidly, this project came with some velvet covered shackles. Perhaps we can work together in the future, perhaps not, but for now I’m hurt. I hate losing. I absolutely hate it when I lose to someone who used my hard work to call it his success. Grrrr. But I have a plan….they will end up paying me a nice large check because now I can sit across the negotiating table from them representing someone else….

On to bigger and better things! But today I’m in a pissy, bitchy, don’t fuck with me mood. Look out world. Poor Hunter – he better be careful. The tiger in this household is feeling fierce.

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Dear Son

I wrote notes to my daughter and son-in-law a month or so ago.  I’ve decided that the art of letter writing needs to be revived, so I’m writing once again, but to my son.  Here is my message to him as he enters his junior year of college and struggles to figure out what he wants to do when he finishes school.  

Dear Son,

I understand how you may be feeling these days as you attempt to figure out a life plan. When I was your age (and younger), I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I looked at all the safe, popular choices: MBA, law school, journalism, some type of management job, some type of sales job and it wasn’t easy. I decided to go the conventional route. I got married, found a job I liked, had kids and raised them. I did this early in my life, and that was my choice. However, my choices were influenced by conventional norms. When I was your age, I wasn’t ready to step outside of those norms and that was OK for me. My life has always been busy and I felt happy and fulfilled for the vast majority of it.

What I want to tell you is that you have choices. You have choices that YOU should make – not ones that you think will make others happy, but ones that you want. If you want to travel the world, do it. You want to work in Starbucks while you spend some time thinking, reading, researching –do it. You want to stay in school and continue your studies – do it. What I am trying to say is this is YOUR life and YOU need to live it to the fullest. It would be a shame to have you reach 30 or 40 or 50 (or whatever age) and you look back and say “Woulda, coulda, shoulda”.

As far as I know, we get one ride on this merry go round, so you need to make sure that you are living your life on your terms. That is the key to happiness, by the way. Doing the things that bring you joy and satisfaction. It’s OK if you haven’t figured out your grand life plan – few people have that ability, especially at your age. You are at the age where you have to try a lot of different things and you may be the type of person who thrives on reinventing yourself every several years (or months or whatever).

I’m trying to tell you that I will always love and support you in all your decisions and journeys through life (so long as they are legal – LOL). I will be there to help in whatever way I can and, of course, perfectly willing to throw in my two cents of advice (what else are moms for?).

All of this to simply mail you your new health insurance card.

I love you bunches,

Mom

Work in Progress

I had written a post about wondering if the Hunter’s sexual interest in me was waning due to my weight gain. I wrote that as he was preparing for a big test that he urgently needed to pass to gain an important certification. Of course the poor man was not interested so much in sex – he had a lot of anxiety about the test and everything else going on.

Nonetheless, I took Nichtisobel’s advice and thought about a low carb diet. In 2009, I had lost 30 pounds on a low carb diet based on a book by two hilarious British women. Neris and Indias Idiot Proof Diet: From Pig to Twig. I had given that gem of a book away, so I promptly got another one and then bought their follow up recipe book delivered from Britain (which is a whole post of converting measurements, translating their names for certain food to the American ones). Anyway, I am digressing.

I have been on their eating plan for almost three weeks and have lost over 6 pounds. Which is amazing considering last week was a bit of a non-starter because we had Hurricane Matthew knocking on our door, so I needed alcohol and a couple of carbs to maintain my sanity. Now I am back on track and am seeing progress each and every day. I’m preparing healthier food and feel great. I am not exercising like I was, but that’s OK for now. The good news is that the Hunter comments on my weight loss, I see it too and I know that I’m on the right track.

If you are going to buy the book, get a hard copy. It’s a beautifully designed book with Neris’ drawings and cute colored pages. Reading their book is like reading the blog of a dear friend. They write straight from the heart, don’t pull any punches and offer as much encouragement as can be found on the written page. I am never letting go of this copy. It’s got a permanent spot of honor on my bookshelf. And sex is back with a vengeance….

Power Couple

It’s been a very busy time around here. Launching two companies at the same time may be the definition of insanity, but we are having a blast and it’s really exciting. The Hunter just landed his first big contract. Actually it’s his first contract and it’s a doozy – a large global company that I have a lot of connections with, so the initial introduction was easy. There is tremendous potential within this company, but they are starting with their problem child to see how it goes. He has another meeting tomorrow with another large regional firm with the same approach – give him a problem child and see how he does.

It’s exciting to see him flourish. He spoke to an old boss today who was truly impressed with the strides the Hunter is making. The new certification, the new business idea, the teaching gig, the first contract all made the old boss’ head spin around. We both had a good chuckle.

For me, my company launch is going quite well. I successfully brought over one of my biggest clients. I’ll find out next week if my favorite one will join us. We have to put on a full presentation, but I anticipated that and have an edge since nobody knows them as well as I do – not even my old boss. Robin, my partner-in-crime, is invaluable and just as thrilled with our launch. Next week we have a celebratory Friday lunch for our big win this week (contracts will be signed by then). Her quiet, level-headedness is a godsend. The separation from our old firm has been non-eventful (which is just how we wanted it) and we haven’t made a big splashy announcement until we know if the other client is joining us. I don’t need the sharks circling any more than necessary, but inevitably word is slipping out and that’s OK too.

I look back on where I was just over a year ago and marvel at my progress. Last spring and summer I was in the depths of a deep, deep work funk that rendered me virtually immobile. I had completely lost my mojo. Then the turning point was telling myself that nobody can fix this but myself. I don’t have a good home office, fine, fix it! So I did over a weekend with used furniture, cans of spray paint to make some used file cabinets fire engine red, and a fortuitous office yard sale. I realized that instead of complaining about the lack of support from my firm, I should just fix it. So with trial and error, I have. I tried some virtual assistants with lackluster results. Now I use Fiverr on a task-by-task basis and it’s been great to fill my gap.

Life is great and I see so much potential. I’m the eternal optimist once again. It’s funny, the Hunter had his self-doubt moment a couple of days ago. He was finally getting a few no’s to his introductory calls and we both realized that what we are doing is not for the faint of heart. My moment of “oh shit” was last week. It’s difficult, hard work to start companies up from scratch, but the good news is we have each other. He is always finding ways to help me and the same goes for me. As one of our friends said, we are a power couple. Look out world!!

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