"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Pity Party

This week wasn’t a great week. Work was fine, the Hunter was fine but I was in a slump. My body isn’t cooperating. I am in a Facebook diet group that is using the The Beck Diet Solution, which is great.  The first week I did fantastic, then Thanksgiving got me and this week I have been feeling lousy, so I hit a wall. Exercise will get me out of this slump but it’s raining so much I need to start thinking about my ark.  

I had follow up appointments at both my gyn and my regular doctor as part of my annual physicals. The regular doctor was OK and I’m glad I went back in because she got busy tackling my migraine and stuffy nose. She pronounced it as a sinus infection and now I’m on antibiotics, nasal spray, etc.  It hasn’t kicked in because on Day 2 of my antibiotics I still woke up with a nasty migraine.  I feel crappy and it’s this “not so crappy” that you will infect people with your plague, but it’s the crappy that you just want to curl up and have a pity party 24/7. Sigh. That’s the first ugh. 

My gyn was not the bearer of sunny news. The only good news he came up with is that my boobs are fine – mammogram and ultrasound came back clean. That is a good thing since my mom died of a non-heritary breast cancer. No, instead my lady parts have gone astray since my last physical. My uterine lining is twice the thickness it should be and my Pap smear came back dubious at best. This means two more procedures so they can check things out further and do some biopsies. Add in a double digit loss of bone density over 5 years and Maggie is feeling old and a bit nervous. 

My doctor is soothing and believes all will be fine. He is an exceptional doctor and I like him immensely. My daughter, through fortuitous timing, happened to call right after. I wasn’t going to burden her since she has so much on her plate.  She agreed with everything the doctor is doing, explained a bit more about the two procedures and agreed that I shouldn’t worry right now. 

The Hunter was warm and loving.  He immediately made plans to leave early so he can bring me home after the procedures. I felt safe and comforted. But I still feel crappy and I am one of those people who is a bit cranky when I’m sick. My sense of humor vanishes and apparently my resting bitch face emerges. He is a sensitive soul and becomes worried that I’m upset with him somehow. That actually lead to me getting irked last night. 

I felt crappy and just wanted to snuggle and watch a movie. He made me a delicious sandwich while I was wrapping up some work.  He wasn’t into a movie, so he headed upstairs to grab a shower. Lately he has been teasing me by running his tongue over my nose or ear in a funny, juvenile way that makes me squeal and push him away. Usually I am down for this and it’s funny. Not last night. I was watching a movie and I’m trying to pause it so I can pay attention to him, his tongue goes up my nose and I snapped rather than squealed. That sent him scurrying away and avoiding me for the rest of the evening. Sigh. 

As I write this, I still have a migraine — it comes and goes throughout the day.  It’s raining, the Hunter is still sleeping and I still feel like crap. I will give myself a little more pity party time and then I will have no choice but to pull myself together and get some shit done. It’s a rainy weekend – perfect for Christmas decorations and cleaning. Joy – can’t wait for that. Perhaps I would be better served just staying in bed and fucking the Hunter regardless of how I feel. The man deserves some TLC. He has promised to make this amazing shrimp dish for me. I’m a lucky girl, I just need to feel better so my fog lifts and I can see the wonderful things in my life. 


Comments on: "Pity Party" (6)

  1. Oh Maggie! We’ve all been in strange funks it seems!
    I’m sorry about the gyn worries. I remember how bad I felt before my latest mammogram.
    I’m sending you positive thoughts that things are fine. And will have to get out of bed too and do something about the state of my house 🙂


  2. Madeline Harper said:

    I hope you feel better darling. I hate women problems!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I work in an OB/GYN office — so I imagine they are going to do an EMB (endometrial biopsy) and a colposcopy? If so, don’t stress — both are relatively painless and easy. When I had my EMB, I literally did not feel a thing (it may have been due to the fact that I was bleeding like a stuck pig, so my cervix was probably not tightly closed). I know some women complain about some pain during the procedure (when they insert the pipette through the cervix) — but you shouldn’t have any afterwards (perhaps some slight cramping is all). The colpo is just painting your cervix with a vinegar solution that would make any abnormal cells fluoresce (and then they look at your cervix with a scope to see). They sometimes do a little biopsy of your cervix — so that can pinch a bit.

    With both of those, we tell patients to take some ibruprofen or Tylenol ahead of time if they want. Most women are fine to drive afterwards.

    As for the migraine — you have my empathy. There is nothing worse (as far as I’m concerned). I especially hate the ones that make me nauseous and sensitive to noise and light (even more so if I have to go to work with one). Here’s hoping the medication kicks in quickly and takes care of that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep, those are the procedures. They are spacing them out so I don’t bleed too much. I rarely ask for help and my daughter suggested I would feel crampy, so it’s nice to have someone leaping to take care of me.

      As for these damn migraines, this is my longest running stretch. The crappy weather and sinus infection isn’t helping, but if I’m not feeling better tomorrow, I may head back to the doctor. The antibiotics would have had an ample chance to kick in. Today is better — I didn’t wake up with one, but I feel it coming on. Fortunately I’ve been able to keep it from the light-sensitive and nauseous stage (which makes me agree it’s sinus related). Still, I have things to do and places to be and this slows me down to a crawl. Ugh.

      Thank you for your reassurances!!! It soothes my anxiety. When I’m so use to being healthy and low maintenance, I tend to over-react to this type of stuff.


  4. Don’t worry about the Hunter, he’s fine. Concentrate on getting Maggie fit as a fiddle again. Please

    Liked by 1 person

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