"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Thanksgiving Revised

Thanskgiving was lovely and we shared it with a small group of family and friends. I am accustomed to hosting a Thanksgiving of between 18-24 people during my married life, so yesterday’s total of 8 was a walk in the park for me. But I did learn a few things about myself.  

First, I have high expectations of myself and how I want to present my home when entertaining. I shampooed the carpets myself (I own a carpet cleaner – great investment when you have pets and kids), I scrubbed the house from top to bottom and it is a lot of work.  In the past my housekeeper would arrive on Wednesday and handle that aspect. This year I am handling it myself, but the Hunter helped and we got it done. To me, the preparation of Thanksgiving is time to scrub the house down for the holiday season. 

Then I started cooking and made 90% of the food. A full menu including five desserts (2 gluten-free for my girlfriend).  It was all a lot of work. By Wednesday night, I was pooped and still had to take my son out to Costco for his quarterly food run. He is headed back to college today, so our time was limited. It was actually a fun outing, but I was cranky and had to hit the sack early. The Hunter was being so sweet.  He was thrilled with his first paycheck from his new job and bought me a bottle of my favorite champagne. He didn’t know it was my favorite and I was touched by his generosity. 

The Hunter has now experienced me in a different mode. Not Maggie, the hard-working, but laid back woman. Instead he got Maggie, the hostess, who wants everything perfect. Yes, I have discovered I have a perfectionist streak. Over the weekend, we decided what he would be responsible for and on Sunday, as he sat down to watch some football, he looked at me quizzically.  “What?”, I asked. He said, “Aren’t you going to say something about the chores?”

“No”, I replied. “I am not going to nag you. You are a 48-year-old man.  You know what needs to be done and when.  It’s up to you to decide how to get it all done. “. He sighed and said, “God, I love you” and relaxed and enjoyed his game. Guess what? He was stellar and got it all done — and then some. 

This Thanksgiving was for me.  It is the first that I have hosted since becoming single. The past two were spent alone and then going out to a fancy dinner with my girlfriend. I enjoyed the novelty of those and the relief of no longer hosting the big bashes, but I was also bitter. I hosted friends and family for about 20 years. When I separated, my counselor warned me to be prepared for ostracism, but I couldn’t fathom that all of those loved ones would turn their back on me. They did and I was hurt. I sent cards with notes to who I though were my closest friends a week before Thanksgiving telling them that I was thankful for their friendship and their kindness and love towards my children. Not even an acknowledgement. I did it more to shame them and put them on the spot. To test them to see if they truly loved me. I guess not. Not enough to check on me, particularly that first holiday. 

So yesterday was my comeback. It was on my terms. It was lovely and I enjoyed having everyone over. I no longer want to host the huge gatherings and yesterday was the perfect size. I finished the day happy and content. Plus a little ganja while enjoying the beautiful evening sky relaxed me. The Hunter just left for the woods with Teacher, so I have the weekend to myself. I am thrilled. I plan on indulging myself with some movie-binging, some exercise and mischief with my toys. Last night, the Hunter and I enjoyed a delicious romp fueld by the ganja. We were quiet because the Teacher was in the guest room, but intense.  I have forgotten how much I love sex when I’m high. I have more to say about me, pot and the Hunter, but for now I am thankful that I am successfully working on re-defining the holidays on my own terms. 

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Comments on: "Thanksgiving Revised" (10)

  1. Madeline Harper said:

    I’m so happy you hosted again…I was thinking about this yesterday as well. I have always hosted a huge gathering and, with my Dad in the hosptial and my x off to his own family, it was just me and the kids. This was ok for this year, and maybe even next. But, I love hostess duties and all that comes with it and will eventually host a “Friendsgiving” if family decided they don’t want to come! Who know, maybe my boys will even have some girlfriends to invite soon enough!
    The Hunter really is proving himself over and over, I love this πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am discovering holiday “orphans” since I have been in that category, so I am carefully adopting them. This year was two of my best girlfriends and Teacher. It is a lot of fun. I think I prefer the smaller ones – I actually get to talk to everyone!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Madeline Harper said:

        Yes, that’s my thought to! No more than 10, maybe 12 so it’s a party but everyone is comfortable and no one killing themselves! I love the orphan term! πŸ‘πŸ»

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yep, I want smaller parties. In my previous life, the parties were typically big. Memorial Day was 40-50, Thanksgiving 20 average, New Years 30-40. Now I want no Memorial Day party, I agree 10-12 for Turkey Day and New Years I want to spend glamping (comfortable camping) under the stars. I am really loving re-defining my life on my own terms.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Madeline Harper said:

        I can’t wait for the time I can do that! I’m am realizing last year was really about adjustment without the x….maybe this year still. But once we are settled and humming along, I plan to start the parties again!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I want to start game/Happy Hour evenings about once a quarter. I think that would be fun.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so happy you had such a lovely Thanksgiving! Reinventing holiday traditions post divorce is challenging. And I can completely relate to friends letting you down. Many friends turned their backs on me when I left my husband. I think some blamed me and others were so shocked that a seemingly great marriage could fall apart, that they just ignored the situation. I guess you don’t know who you can really count on until friendships are tested. Anyway, I enjoy following your story–especially your relationship with the Hunter!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! It’s so true about how friends react when the “perfect” marriage falls apart. Sometimes I think they believe it’s contagious! 😷. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving with loved ones. My new chapter going forward is about my freedom to redefine holidays … among other things to be redefined. Stay tuned — I’ll be writing more about me and the Hunter and our relationship as it evolves.

      Like

  3. I loved everything about this post Maggie. It illustrates 2 things for me. Despite being “let down” in the past, you can bounce back like a real pro and be on top of the world. Secondly, you’ve come to appreciate quality over quantity. And that’s always good! Belated Happy Thanksgiving

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! It truly was a revelation of the “quality versus quantity” aspect. I’m throwing a pajama party for myself tonight. The wine is flowing as I listen to Pandora. Very reflective evening tonight. Post to follow because my mind is clicking along as usual.

      Liked by 1 person

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