Got an urge, got a surge and it’s out of control
Got an urge, I wanna purge ’cause I’m losing control
Uncontrollable urge, I wanna tell you all about it
Got an uncontrollable urge that make me scream and shout it
I haven’t told you the story about my moment of insanity. Yes, even I have my moments of complete crazy and recently I had a dozy. If you recall, over the summer I broke my Hitachi. Yes, it was a sad moment, but I decided recently that I was overdue in replacing that power tool. I got a different one from Adam & Eve – their lesser generic model that is much cheaper. It arrived promptly on a Friday, but I decided to wait until Sunday morning before taking it on a test drive.
I was waiting because the Hunter had plans for an epic adventure in the woods with Teacher on Sunday, so I knew that I would have a lazy Sunday morning getting acquainted with my new tool. I mentioned my plans to the Hunter on Saturday and he joked about hiding it. Not funny. And he did hide it and I went nuts. Oh yes, my crazy escaped and was on full display for all to see.
Sunday morning I came downstairs to retrieve it from the dining room table and it was gone. Sigh. Really? Keep in mind that the Hunter is deep in the woods with no cell service. I know this, but I whipped out my phone and the evil texts began:
You hid my new toy?! Where the fuck is it?!
I paused and walked my dog. Instead of this calming me down, it merely added gasoline to the fire. I returned and launched another text.
I am sad. My morning plans are ruined. Sob. I was looking forward to this and now I’ve cancelled. I really don’t indulge myself much and this was one of the few ways. Now you have spoiled it. Thanks. I’m officially pissed.
I paused and half heartedly looked around. It isn’t anywhere obvious and let’s face it – I don’t want to play his game. Next text:
Even if I tear the house apart and find it, the mood is ruined. I am really, really upset. You could have left a note or a clue, but no, you are off the grid and have fucked up perhaps the ONLY thing I was going to do for myself. That was a shitty thing to do.
I pause again and fix myself some coffee and a yogurt. The fire inside me is still raging. After a few minutes, I write this one:
I am really angry. I mean really angry. Seriously. You have ruined my joy around indulging myself with my new toy and my awakening sexuality. Don’t think, “oh she could use another toy for the same result” because that is not the point! Now my day is starting from a place of anger & hurt. No Bueno. You have made me cry – my feelings are really hurt. I am terribly upset. I am not kidding. I am dead serious. For some reason that silly action of yours hit a raw nerve of emotion in me. I don’t know why it triggered such a strong reaction but it did. I’m really upset.
I sulk some more and head towards the patio door. As I approach the dining room table, I find his damn clue. His clue is written on a package insert from Adam & Eve (like I would look at the paperwork — ugh). “It’s close by, just keeping dry – Love you, the Hunter”. I am an idiot. He had put it in the dryer a mere 10 feet away. However, I have to deal with the fact that my crazy is out and now I have to see if I can squish it back into its box. I am still pissed at the moment of discovery, but I am calming down. This little harmless joke really triggered my crazy apparently.
So what does a girl do when her crazy is out of the box, her day is now pissy, her man is in the woods and off the grid? She calls her dearest friend, goes to brunch and gets shitfaced. Yep, I enjoyed unlimited mimosas and the fabulous company of my dearest girlfriend. She laughed until she cried over my story. Then the Hunter called….with an oh so apprehensive tone in his voice and gently apologized. I tell him I’m fine and with my girlfriend. And I was. I got home and he was a bit wary of me since my crazy had such a fine moment of sunshine. But I was OK. He was wondering if I was going to unleash my crazy, but I didn’t need to. The moment was over.
The next morning as he got ready for work, he came upstairs with that damn vibrator. He pulled it out of the box, plugged it, grabbed the lube and placed it all on the nightstand. Then he kissed me good-bye and left for work. I truly love this man. He gets me and he is so kind and thoughtful. Plus the new vibrator is awesome. Just what I needed to keep the crazy at bay.