"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Archive for November, 2015

Judge Not

Don’t you look at me so smug
And say I’m going bad.
Who are you to judge me
And the life that I live?
I know that I’m not perfect
And that I don’t claim to be.
So before you point your fingers,
Be sure your hands are clean.

Bob Marley 

There is one blip on the radar with me and the Hunter these days. It’s about his pot usage (yes, Bob Marley was oh so perfect for my lead-in artist).  As I had mentioned earlier, now that the Hunter has his great new job and drug testing isn’t in the future, he has started smoking again.

While he was on the wagon, he had said that he wanted to smoke and would always smoke, however, he would limit his smoking to probably only the weekends. When we recently talked about it, he said he didn’t want to go back to smoking morning, noon and night (literally) because he didn’t want to live in that kind of zombie state.  But he is smoking almost every night and I caught him grabbing his pipe one morning to see if there was any left for a quick hit.  I was afraid that once he started, he would fall right back into the same frequency and perhaps I am right. He has admitted that I have a point.

Then you have me, Maggie, who has changed her opinion on pot-smoking. While he was a heavy, daily smoker, I didn’t say anything or judge him. At least I like to think I wasn’t judging him. I was OK that he wanted to smoke every night. I don’t think I realized how addicted he  was  is, but I knew he smoked in the morning — I didn’t know about his lunchtime toke until recently. I always told him that I preferred pot to alcohol for a daily  addiction  habit. That is true, but somewhere along the line during his sobriety, my mind changed. Let’s jump back to my past and my baggage for a moment.

My parents separated and divorced when I was 7.  My mom then went on to date men who were losers. She loved an alcoholic and her longest two relationships were with marginally abusive alcoholics.  The last one she married and I detested him from the very beginning. In any case, my first college boyfriend had a serious drinking problem and my Ex has a drinking problem, so the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.  I never have been a heavy drinker since alcohol sends me puking in the bushes if I get more than slightly buzzed. Add to the fact that the Ex would throw back 4-5 drinks in a two-hour span, so out of self-preservation I became the Designated Driver and sober person at all events. I have found that I don’t like to be too much out of control and I despise a hangover.

Pot is different though. Potheads never (in my experience) get aggressive.  They are relaxed and silly — just don’t give a fuck too much. I enjoy the great sex that comes from a couple of tokes. I don’t like to be too high because then I don’t feel too much in control and find myself either munching out or lost in Walmart. But I do like a toke and I did slightly miss it during the Hunter’s hiatus, however, now that it is back, I find myself not so OK with it. I have been wrestling with the question of why my change of heart?

There is another problem that relates to my change of heart also. The Hunter can tell that his smoking bothers me and he is now feeling judged. That creates a line between us. We have talked about it a couple of times. I have told him that I want him to excel at this job and that he had said that he wasn’t going to smoke as frequently as before. He has said that he hears me, but he will always smoke because he enjoys it., but he hears me about the frequency. I have said that I am afraid that he won’t be able to control himself as it pertains to frequency and that he will immediately go from zero to 70 and smoke throughout the day. Now I watch him smoke with a slight concern peeking out. Why? He smoked frequently when we met and he moved in. He has smoked for decades, so I know that this is probably outside of recreational usage.

I find him gently pushing me a bit more to join him or perhaps it’s my imagination. Menopause has already taken it’s toll on my memory, so I tend to abstain during the week although if it’s been a stressful day, I will take a hit. I don’t like to get really high, but a light buzz is pleasant. Plus sex on pot is awesome.

In any case, I have to come to terms and accept the Hunter for who he is. He has never hidden any part of himself from me and I knew this about him from the get-go.  On Thanksgiving, he got up and decided to make a quick run to BassPro to pick up some ammo.  I didn’t fuss or pitch a fit even though part of me was thinking, “Seriously? Are you trying to see if you can piss me off?” While he was gone, I realized that he had made a subtle shift and was reacting to my cranky persona. He has been testing me and the BassPro run was a perfect example. I have been slightly judgy about the pot.  I got a bit cranky this week as I worked my ass off preparing for Thanksgiving. I have been lapsing back into my former bourgeois self who wants the perfect holiday, the “right” lifestyle — whatever that is. I was a bit judgy in my former life. The Hunter was only reacting to the energy and signals I was sending. He even said in one conversation that he knew one day I would end up judging him for his pot usage. I had changed my tune and the Hunter wasn’t digging this new song. How I had this revelation in the middle of Thanksgiving morning food prep is a miracle in itself.

In any case, he returned.  I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big hug. I told him that I was sorry.  I told him that it wasn’t fair of me to change my mind about his pot-smoking. We went into this relationship with me being OK with it, so I need to let go and realize that he can handle it and it’s OK.  I told him I just want him to excel at his new job and would hate to have that ruin it., but he is a grown man and it’s for him to deal with.  He wrapped his arms around me and murmured words of love in Spanish into my ear.  The day was brilliant and we were so happy.

I am still thinking about this.  I have discovered that the Hunter responds best to unconditional love and I suddenly had put conditions on my love. It was a subtle shift, but I saw a change in him immediately. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what was bothering me.  I saw him teasing a bit harder, a slight lessening in true, loving affection. It is similiar to ripples in the water. You don’t know the current under the water, but you see evidence of the change on the surface.

This weekend of separation is good for us.  I need a little space so I can think about this. Am I truly OK with the pot?  Interestingly I think I am learning more about myself in all of this. We all have our short-comings, vices, issues, baggage from our childhood and past relationships, but when you love someone I think you need to accept it simply as part and parcel of who they are. If it is a deal breaker, then leave because changing a 48-year-old man (or a 51-year-old woman) is simply not going to happen unless he (or she) truly wants it. The Hunter is a complex man (aren’t we all complex creatures?), but he comes home every night, he is kind and thoughtful to me, he listens to me and is my biggest fan and supports me 110% unconditionally.  He treats me better than any man has ever treated me and loves me deeply. He deserves better, so I am glad I apologized and I will strive to be a better partner by not bring so judgy and controlling — yes, I think my judgemental thoughts are a control issue on my part. I need to let go and let someone else drive for a change. We can discuss that in a future post.

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Thankful Moments

I have some random thoughts lingering from Thanksgiving. The first is amusing. 

Background:  Niño, the Hunter’s son, and his buddy, Russell, (you can read about them here) joined us for Thanksgiving. I am considerate that many (my son included) have double-duty (i.e. 2 Thanksgiving parties), so I start early. I prefer a 1:00 start so I can relax in the evening (and enjoy a lovely Round 2 of food).  The Hunter warned his son not to show up empty-handed.  1) because gentlemen bring SOMETHING to a woman’s house for a big dinner event and 2) to thank me because I made Niño his own pumpkin pie because he said it was his favorite pie. My recipe is my grandmother’s and is renown for its awesomeness, so he scored big there. 

So Nino and Russell pop into a Total Wine to buy me a bottle of wine, however, Russell is underage so Total Wine refused to sell a bottle of wine to Niño. As Russell later said, “Seriously, do they really think red wine is the go-to for 20-year-old guys looking to get drunk?”  Plan B was a dash to Whole Foods to buy me flowers. The Hunter enjoyed Nino’s frustration — one of life’s lessons in his mind. I hugged Niño and thanked him graciously. The flowers were lovely and made the perfect centerpiece for the table. 

Meanwhile, Teacher was making a play for my BFF, who wasn’t having it. She runs in a high-level circle of C-suite executives, so the overtures of a self-admitted hyper, overly blunt public high school teacher didn’t even register on her radar. Watching both kept the Hunter and me amused all afternoon.  

Around the table, my BFF said the perfect blessing and I asked everyone to tell us something they were grateful for. I said I was grateful for everyone at the table and their impact on my life. My son was grateful for me and other family among other things.  The Hunter was grateful for me mostly and his son.  Niño surprised me and expounded on my virtues. He was grateful for the positive impact I was having on his dad’s life.  My son leaped in and added that he was grateful for the Hunter and pronounced him”cool”.  I was touched. One of my daily affirmations is “I am appreciative of the compliments I receive”. This popped into my head and enabled me to relish this moment. 

The other amusing moment was after everyone left except Teacher. He was spending the night so they could head to the woods early. He and the Hunter were rummaging through the leftovers and discovered my other great pie. For Thanksgiving, I must have the following desserts: pumpkin pie and chocolate bourbon pecan pie. I usually do an amazing white chocolate bread pudding in the crockpot (white chocolate and condensed milk — you can never go wrong).  But with my BFF gluten-free and the Hunter asking for apple pie, I made the apple pie, a flourless chocolate cake and another GF dessert. As everyone plowed into the desserts, I was surprised that I was the only one who ate the chocolate bourbon pecan pie, but in my mind, hey, more for me (ugh – I don’t need more but whatever). Then during Round 2, Teacher and the Hunter discovered it. Now it is the Hunter’s favorite of all time. He begged me to save him a piece for his return from the woods.  That’s OK but right now after the two of them finished it, there are at best two slices left.  I will stick to pumpkin pie I suppose. 

This time last year I was wasting my time with two married men from Ashley Madison. They were supplying much needed sex but I was beginning to realize I not only needed but deserved more. I was finding that I relish the contact throughout the day of a man who loves and cares for me. I had my moments of sitting in my home with my cat and dog feeling alone. Not necessarily lonely, but alone which is different. I am having that feeling tonight as I relish an evening in my pj’s with a Netflix binge imminent. I enjoy my alone time, but I have discovered that I like having the Hunter in my life. I miss him and he has texted me that he misses me. I like that — the separation is good for both of us. This is one of the few times “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. 

Thanksgiving Revised

Thanskgiving was lovely and we shared it with a small group of family and friends. I am accustomed to hosting a Thanksgiving of between 18-24 people during my married life, so yesterday’s total of 8 was a walk in the park for me. But I did learn a few things about myself.  

First, I have high expectations of myself and how I want to present my home when entertaining. I shampooed the carpets myself (I own a carpet cleaner – great investment when you have pets and kids), I scrubbed the house from top to bottom and it is a lot of work.  In the past my housekeeper would arrive on Wednesday and handle that aspect. This year I am handling it myself, but the Hunter helped and we got it done. To me, the preparation of Thanksgiving is time to scrub the house down for the holiday season. 

Then I started cooking and made 90% of the food. A full menu including five desserts (2 gluten-free for my girlfriend).  It was all a lot of work. By Wednesday night, I was pooped and still had to take my son out to Costco for his quarterly food run. He is headed back to college today, so our time was limited. It was actually a fun outing, but I was cranky and had to hit the sack early. The Hunter was being so sweet.  He was thrilled with his first paycheck from his new job and bought me a bottle of my favorite champagne. He didn’t know it was my favorite and I was touched by his generosity. 

The Hunter has now experienced me in a different mode. Not Maggie, the hard-working, but laid back woman. Instead he got Maggie, the hostess, who wants everything perfect. Yes, I have discovered I have a perfectionist streak. Over the weekend, we decided what he would be responsible for and on Sunday, as he sat down to watch some football, he looked at me quizzically.  “What?”, I asked. He said, “Aren’t you going to say something about the chores?”

“No”, I replied. “I am not going to nag you. You are a 48-year-old man.  You know what needs to be done and when.  It’s up to you to decide how to get it all done. “. He sighed and said, “God, I love you” and relaxed and enjoyed his game. Guess what? He was stellar and got it all done — and then some. 

This Thanksgiving was for me.  It is the first that I have hosted since becoming single. The past two were spent alone and then going out to a fancy dinner with my girlfriend. I enjoyed the novelty of those and the relief of no longer hosting the big bashes, but I was also bitter. I hosted friends and family for about 20 years. When I separated, my counselor warned me to be prepared for ostracism, but I couldn’t fathom that all of those loved ones would turn their back on me. They did and I was hurt. I sent cards with notes to who I though were my closest friends a week before Thanksgiving telling them that I was thankful for their friendship and their kindness and love towards my children. Not even an acknowledgement. I did it more to shame them and put them on the spot. To test them to see if they truly loved me. I guess not. Not enough to check on me, particularly that first holiday. 

So yesterday was my comeback. It was on my terms. It was lovely and I enjoyed having everyone over. I no longer want to host the huge gatherings and yesterday was the perfect size. I finished the day happy and content. Plus a little ganja while enjoying the beautiful evening sky relaxed me. The Hunter just left for the woods with Teacher, so I have the weekend to myself. I am thrilled. I plan on indulging myself with some movie-binging, some exercise and mischief with my toys. Last night, the Hunter and I enjoyed a delicious romp fueld by the ganja. We were quiet because the Teacher was in the guest room, but intense.  I have forgotten how much I love sex when I’m high. I have more to say about me, pot and the Hunter, but for now I am thankful that I am successfully working on re-defining the holidays on my own terms. 

Thankfulness

I don’t have any sexy stories today, but I have been thinking about how the Hunter and I first met. This time last year, we were hiking and I was wondering if this guy had any interest in me. Fast forward to today and the answer is definitely yes. 

This morning the Hunter woke up early, but crawled back into bed an hour later. I snuggled up to him and mentioned this. I told him how thankful I was to have him in my life. I told him to get prepared because I get mushy and sentimental around Thanksgiving because I try to think about the many blessings in my life and be thankful for them. He chuckled when I said that our gamble of moving in paid off. He said, “You just wanted sex and a lot of orgasms, so the best way to have sex every day was to have me move in.  We later discovered how great our relationship really is.”  I snuggled a little more,than got up to walk the dog. The Hunter is happily snoozing and I am thinking about what he said. 

At the very beginning, the Hunter wanted to go soooo slooowww because he said that sex clouds everything in a relationship. He wanted to know me first. He’s right. Once I finally settled down and went from hyper-horny to a more normal horny (for instance I have been thinking about a nice vibrator session sometime soon), I had to come to terms of having a man in my space. Plus I had a man very different from the men I had dated, married or worked with. He had the same reality. I am not like any other woman he has been in a LTR with. We have had our moments and we probably will in the future, but I have come to realize that our foundation grows stronger every day.  

Here’s an example of that strengthening. Yesterday, the Hunter plops on the couch beside me as I savored my morning coffee. He was grouchy on Friday night and had gone to bed early. On Saturday, he was apologizing for being grouchy and explained that he hated being broke. With his job switch, he has now gone 3 weeks without a paycheck and he doesn’t have the savings for that.  I have loaned him some money, but he hates it and takes too little.  He also told me on Saturday that he was bored because without money he couldn’t do things he enjoys. 

I told him that while I understood,  I was also kinda glad that money was an issue because I didn’t want to see him going back to getting stoned every day.  He said that he could have gotten pot regardless of money, but he was choosing not to go back to that life.  He continued that he had been smoking a lot and in a zombie-state so he could ignore the realities of his life at the time which were he was a 48-year-old man living in an efficiency.  Now he sees a future with me and his career, so he doesn’t want to go backwards.  But right now he is bored. That’s fine, I get it and in no way felt like that was something negative about me. Instead, we planned for him to head to the woods on the Friday after Thanksgiving for that weekend. I like that idea so I can spend time with my son before he heads back to college and I have some Me time also. He then spent the day having lunch and hanging out with various friends. That did him a world of good. 

His new job is stressing him and he even had a dream about his new boss which was hilarious. But I know that this new job is perfect for him and it is finally tapping into his true potential. He is with a great organization with superlative benefits (I even get domestic partner health benefits for me and my son) and he is on track for a rapid promotion by Spring. He has already saved the company thousands of dollars and he hasn’t even hit his stride. His new boss is an excellent manager of people but doesn’t have the technical expertise of the Hunter. The Hunter is able to shine with his technical expertise and superior logistical skills. Since the Hunter hasn’t been with such a large company, I have been coaching him quite a bit and showing him hidden wins, potential allies and developing some spreadsheets and strategies. I will be reining back because I sometimes have the tendency to help a little too much, and I need to let him do things his way. But at the company Thanksgiving picnic, his new boss wanted to spend most of his time talking to the Hunter about projects. His boss manages over 100 people, so I saw this as a huge plus. He has already won over the purchasing manager with his savings and the boss’ assistant likes him tremendously. I am so happy for him. Now he can tap into his true potential. 
I have been busy with work. I have some interesting plans in my future which I will write about in the future. I am really happy with many wonderful things in my life. I listen to my daily affirmations and they are truly working. I am back to losing weight and I feel good about my future. Now, I have a date with the Hunter at Home Depot. He has agreed to a long list of chores for today. I am a lucky girl. 

Full Circle….in Walmart

Funny how the circle turns around
You think your lost and then you’re found again
Though you always look for what you know
Each time around it’s something new again

The Byrds

I have another funny story to share with all of you. The Hunter got his great new job and to celebrate, we decided to head off to the woods for a weekend camping trip. I took a day off from my crazy work life so we could spend three full days enjoying nature and each other. It was awesome.

Now that the Hunter is hired and all the paperwork has been completed, he feels comfortable firing up a joint again. He has been clean for about five months now. Amazing right? I am so proud of him because when we met, he smoked several times every day. As part of the festivities, the Hunter wanted to bring along some ganja because it makes nature just so much more enjoyable. He got enough for three joints on Wednesday and by Friday, he had about 1-1/2 joints left.

He wanted me to get buzzed and with the crazy week I had, I was willing to escape into somewhere comfortably numb. Our camping adventure began with a nice leisurely road trip that involved a couple of stops so our three hour trip stretched into about 4-4-1/2 hours up a country road. It was delightful and I was buzzed, the radio had good tunes and we were chatting away. Then we stopped at Walmart for some last minute supplies.

I was fried when we walked into Walmart. I haven’t been this high for many months and I typically am not the person to get so intoxicated on much of anything because I like to have my wits about me. But the Hunter had prodded a little and I was willing since we had no plans (and I had safely turned my phone OFF), so I definitely inhaled more than usual. So now Walmart and it wasn’t even a super Walmart. As a matter of fact, it was probably on the smaller side. I walked inside and within 5 minutes was lost. I mean like a 3-year-old child lost. The Hunter sent me down an aisle to get pillows because we had forgotten pillows and I needed some anyway. I thought he was right behind me and when I turned around, I was alone.

I swear, I walked around that Walmart for what seemed like 30 minutes with a pillow in each hand and a goofy smile on my face. I went by the bottled water and soda since that was something we needed, no Hunter. I went by the grocery area, no Hunter. I went around the entire perimeter of the store, no Hunter. Then the paranoia hit and I thought he was hiding from me and quietly stalking me and laughing. That caused me to take 10 steps and then spin around to see if he was behind me. 10 steps, spin. Goofy smile, two pillows. I must have been the sight to see.

Finally I see the Hunter approaching the bottled water area and I breathe a sigh of relief. I truly know what a lost child feels like. I didn’t have the humility to ask store personnel for help even though they watched me wander the store aimlessly for what seemed like an eternity.

I grab the Hunter and ask him where he’s been. The camping section (of course). I tell him that I was lost and couldn’t find him. He chuckles. He tells me that before I took off to grab the pillows he had told me to join him in the camping section….oh, I had missed that part. I kept my hand on his shoulder for the remainder of the time. When we get back to the car and leave, I confess that I felt like a lost child and tell him the rest of the adventure (spinning around, lost, goofy grin). He howls with laughter. We both start laughing until we cannot breathe and it continued all weekend. All one of us needed to say was “Walmart pillows” and the giggles commenced.

Now, let’s get serious for a minute and talk about the lovely ganja and the Hunter. He and I had a serious conversation about it on the ride home. He was tempted to get more, so he told me about wanting to fire up on Sunday night. We talked about it and he settled on a cigar instead. He knows he needs to keep his wits about him. I told him that I was concerned about how he would handle this weekend binge. I was uneasy that perhaps it could lead to a serious relapse. I didn’t want him to hide from me, but to talk to me. I told him I didn’t want to come across as judgmental, but instead, concerned about him. He was fine with my reaction and appreciated it. I hope he keeps that demon in check. Yes, we had a great time and the pot with some rum kept the Hunter happy and mellow. Now the test will be, can he accept it in moderation? He says that he knows he has no choice. I think he is strong enough to keep it in check, but he needs to continue to let me know when he struggles, so I can understand where he’s at. He has a great job now, so it would be awful to have something like this fuck things up. In the meantime, I will not be venturing into any big box retailer stoned. I can’t handle that shit.

Uncontrollable Urge

Got an urge, got a surge and it’s out of control
Got an urge, I wanna purge ’cause I’m losing control
Uncontrollable urge, I wanna tell you all about it
Got an uncontrollable urge that make me scream and shout it

Devo

I haven’t told you the story about my moment of insanity. Yes, even I have my moments of complete crazy and recently I had a dozy. If you recall, over the summer I broke my Hitachi. Yes, it was a sad moment, but I decided recently that I was overdue in replacing that power tool. I got a different one from Adam & Eve – their lesser generic model that is much cheaper. It arrived promptly on a Friday, but I decided to wait until Sunday morning before taking it on a test drive.

I was waiting because the Hunter had plans for an epic adventure in the woods with Teacher on Sunday, so I knew that I would have a lazy Sunday morning getting acquainted with my new tool. I mentioned my plans to the Hunter on Saturday and he joked about hiding it. Not funny. And he did hide it and I went nuts. Oh yes, my crazy escaped and was on full display for all to see.

Sunday morning I came downstairs to retrieve it from the dining room table and it was gone. Sigh. Really? Keep in mind that the Hunter is deep in the woods with no cell service. I know this, but I whipped out my phone and the evil texts began:

You hid my new toy?! Where the fuck is it?!

I paused and walked my dog. Instead of this calming me down, it merely added gasoline to the fire. I returned and launched another text.

I am sad. My morning plans are ruined. Sob. I was looking forward to this and now I’ve cancelled. I really don’t indulge myself much and this was one of the few ways. Now you have spoiled it. Thanks. I’m officially pissed.

I paused and half heartedly looked around. It isn’t anywhere obvious and let’s face it – I don’t want to play his game. Next text:

Even if I tear the house apart and find it, the mood is ruined. I am really, really upset. You could have left a note or a clue, but no, you are off the grid and have fucked up perhaps the ONLY thing I was going to do for myself. That was a shitty thing to do.

I pause again and fix myself some coffee and a yogurt. The fire inside me is still raging. After a few minutes, I write this one:

I am really angry. I mean really angry. Seriously. You have ruined my joy around indulging myself with my new toy and my awakening sexuality. Don’t think, “oh she could use another toy for the same result” because that is not the point! Now my day is starting from a place of anger & hurt. No Bueno. You have made me cry – my feelings are really hurt. I am terribly upset. I am not kidding. I am dead serious. For some reason that silly action of yours hit a raw nerve of emotion in me. I don’t know why it triggered such a strong reaction but it did. I’m really upset.

I sulk some more and head towards the patio door. As I approach the dining room table, I find his damn clue. His clue is written on a package insert from Adam & Eve (like I would look at the paperwork — ugh).   “It’s close by, just keeping dry – Love you, the Hunter”. I am an idiot.  He had put it in the dryer a mere 10 feet away. However, I have to deal with the fact that my crazy is out and now I have to see if I can squish it back into its box.  I am still pissed at the moment of discovery,  but I am calming down. This little harmless joke really triggered my crazy apparently.

So what does a girl do when her crazy is out of the box, her day is now pissy, her man is in the woods and off the grid? She calls her dearest friend, goes to brunch and gets shitfaced. Yep, I enjoyed unlimited mimosas and the fabulous company of my dearest girlfriend. She laughed until she cried over my story. Then the Hunter called….with an oh so apprehensive tone in his voice and gently apologized. I tell him I’m fine and with my girlfriend. And I was. I got home and he was a bit wary of me since my crazy had such a fine moment of sunshine. But I was OK. He was wondering if I was going to unleash my crazy, but I didn’t need to. The moment was over.

The next morning as he got ready for work, he came upstairs with that damn vibrator. He pulled it out of the box, plugged it, grabbed the lube and placed it all on the nightstand. Then he kissed me good-bye and left for work. I truly love this man. He gets me and he is so kind and thoughtful. Plus the new vibrator is awesome. Just what I needed to keep the crazy at bay.

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? Lately I have been living life in the real world. I also have to confess that I got a new iPhone and promptly locked myself out of virtually everything. Damn passwords and 2-step authenticators. What a friggin’ nightmare!! But I finally got all that resolved, however, I am also super busy both at work and home. Life is going really well and my days are full. The Hunter and I are in a period of extreme happiness. We both feel thankful and grateful for all that we have.

Work is going well. I have new clients identified and we shall see if they develop into anything worthwhile. Our lawsuit with a former deadbeat client is moving along and we are hopeful for a relatively quick settlement. I have re-tooled my business strategy and added a team of virtual assistants to help me with the administrative tasks. They are a godsend. I should have done this years ago. I feel like I am getting back into the mainstream and I see good things in my future.

My kids are doing great. Taz is stressed but happy. She is getting interview requests from all over the country, so she should be able to match to the perfect residency program. Her wedding plans are moving along and the only blip on that radar is the rehearsal dinner. The selected venue has closed (long story without a happy ending) so we are working on a new one. My son is doing great in school and is super happy.

Life is just grand and I have no complaints worth mentioning. One of the things I have been working on is my daily planning and scheduling. With so many things to get done in a work day, my blogging time has been replaced with more business writing. My business writing is fun, but not nearly as much fun as my naughty secret blog. I have put exercise back at the top of my morning rituals, so hopefully I will begin shedding these excess pounds. I have reached an unbelievable number and am annoyed that I not only fell off the wagon, but the wagon left me in the dust. Ugh. But I have enlisted technology to help me and a couple of cool apps are helping me monitor my exercise and my food (if only I can remember to log the food).

I am reading your blogs when I can, but I can’t always comment — mainly because I have been locked out of damn WordPress!!   I think about all of you and hope you all find peace and happiness. I’ll keep writing but it will be in spurts. Hugs to you all!

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