If you don’t know me by now
You will never never never know me (Oh)
All the things that we’ve been through
You should understand me like I understand you
Now baby I know the difference between right and wrong
I ain’t gonna do nothing to upset our happy home
Oh don’t get so excited when I come home a little late at night
‘Cause we only act like children when we argue fuss and fight
If you don’t know me by now (If you don’t know me)
You will never never never know me (You’ll never, never know me)
If you don’t know me by now(If you don’t, if you don’t know me baby)
You will never never never know me(No you won’t)
We’ve all got our own funny moods
I’ve got mine, woman you’ve got yours too
Just trust in me like I trust in you
As long as we’ve been together it should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together or we might as well say goodbye
What good is a love affair when you can’t see eye to eye, oh
Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes (sung by Simply Red)
WTF – I just can’t win sometimes. I was reading the Hunter this blog post where it mentions talking about sex with a friend. During the reading, he stopped me and asked who the friend was. He guessed one of my girlfriends and I said no, it was a blogger. Things became icy cold when he learned it was a male blogger. He can’t fathom why I find the need to talk about sex with a man. He felt that I am disrespectful to him and it sent us spiraling into a cold pit of anger.
I flounder around during these discussions. I don’t have much of a filter at times and have a tendency to over-share. I still feel like I am learning the ropes and I have questions at times. Questions that perhaps cannot be asked within my existing social circle because yes, then it would be a violation of our privacy and our relationship. To me, asking these questions within the boundaries of a blogging world is much like asking an advice columnist. It’s anonymous for a reason and meant to stay that way. I don’t really want to know you folks in person and I am sure the majority of you feel the same way about me. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but the allure, mystery and, most importantly, anonymity would be erased by meeting.
But back to the Hunter. He doesn’t get this about me. He gets coldly angry and doesn’t believe that I can separate a candid discussion about my sex life without it dissolving into flirting. The conversation wasn’t graphic by the way. He sees this as a form of flirting and he doesn’t think that flirting with other men is appropriate when I am in a relationship with him. I found the blogger conversation rather banal except for the fact that it involved sex. At the end of the day, the Hunter doesn’t realize how many of you are pulling for us and admire him.
Although there was no banter in this disputed discussion, I don’t know when banter goes to inappropriate flirting in his eyes. I know my limits and when a line is crossed, but perhaps his line in the sand is further than mine. This is confusing for me and I struggle to understand his preferred boundaries. I want him to be happy, trusting and comfortable with me. I want him to know that I am his and only his. I thought the post in question made it clear to him, but instead I am once again floundering and he’s upset. Shit. We just were at the end of a great day with tons of good news for him. Now he is out driving around and cooling off. Crap. I am at a loss. I have apologized and told him that I understand where he is coming from. He is tired of this and I understand his frustration. Like I said in the infamous post – relationships are a lot of work.