"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Curve Ball

The Hunter just threw an impressive curve ball on Saturday afternoon.  The cynical side of me is carefully analyzing the situation because that part of me thinks he may be playing me.  First, the curve ball.

He called me mid-afternoon and politely inquired if I was home. I was running an errand and told him I would be returning shortly. We meet at home and he tells me this could either be a long or short discussion. Okay…..he launches into a spiel about something I had texted him on Thursday when shit was breaking loose. I had sent him an excerpt from a book I had just finished. The book was a business one about productivity (I wrote about it here).  Here’s the quote:

When an unsettling event occurs, pause before reacting.  In that pause, ask yourself a single question: what is the outcome I want? Instead of reacting to the event, react to the outcome. Here’s the hard part: you react to the event because it’s asking you to react to it. But just because the event catalyzed your action doesn’t mean it should determine it. How you react can and should be determined by the outcome – by the future you want to create.

Wait a minute, he read and processed that?  He continued that he thought about that and it made a lot of sense to him. He decided that he wanted us to stay together, however, he wants us to go to couples counseling.  Yes, he is volunteering to go to counseling with me. I was stunned by this request. Now, granted he wants to go to fix me, but to be able to get him into therapy would do him a world of good.  He is willing to see my therapist which would be great because she can handle him.  I have a lot more to think and write about this. It opens a Pandora’s box of things I have not discussed on this blog about me and the Hunter, mostly about his past. He has some demons to lay to rest. If this is my chance to see if he can do some work to continue his growth, I am thinking of considering it. First, I need to put together a list of conditions with consequences for not following through with the counseling.

I asked him if he would participate and he agreed. I asked him what if the counselor showed him things he neede to change.  Although he thinks this is about me, he said that he would be open to learning how to improve himself.

He also looked me in the eye and gave me a sincere and humble apology for both the “shitty moral value” statement and the user comment. I told him that those two did it for me.

Interesting. Very interesting. I called my girlfriend. She was as stunned as I am. WTF. This man is full of surprises. But, Dear Readers, he keeps throwing curve balls and I may end up hitting it out of the park.

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Comments on: "Curve Ball" (13)

  1. Wow! Well, you need to make sure that you want to go to therapy with him.
    Don’t do it just because you think that this will do him good. Only do it if you think this will do *YOU* good!
    And if you want to give this relationship another chance 🙂
    XO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Obviously there is a lot of follow up to this revelation. Suffice it to say, I need to use my words, my spoken words, and communicate better. I tend to be very private and don’t confront things head on. It makes a relationship with me a little tricky because you really need to be able to read me. I had told my GF that I was thinking about going back to my therapist for a little fine-tuning as a result of all this drama. This just let’s it all fall into place.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmm. This is good news, yes? Why would you think he could be playing you…that seems extreme, does it not?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well that he is even still pitching is a very good sign I’d say. But I think you are smart to keep your guard up … you may hit it out of the park, or you may be swearing as you leave the batter’s box a victim of the curve mixed with a wily spit ball

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love your analogies! My daughter was saying something along those same lines. She, in her wise, 25-year-old self, is saying a relationship of our short duration shouldn’t necessarily need couples counseling. I agree except that we have set such a blistering pace of dating, co-habitating, etc., that his idea has great merit. I think the other curve ball will shed some light on why I am more apt to continue with him.

      Like

  4. The Woman Invisible said:

    I think the fact he engaged is pretty great and leaves you in a position to hit that curve ball clear out of the park! Can’t wait for next post.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’d be nervous about his motivations as well. Has he admitted that he overreacted and had a rationale conversation about everything yet? I’m quite curious to read the next post. Good luck. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • He understands that he has some serious trust issues, so he wants to work on that. As I will continue to say, my cynical side is observing all this with hands on hips and cocked head. We have been talking about how both of us have to keep our “crazy” (a.k.a. Mistrust) in check. Boy, is my therapist going to have fun with him!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Yay congrats! I just read a few of your posts (I’ve been on holidays) and felt terrible about your situation.

    In my opinion he toooootally overreacted but when I mentioned it to my bf, he agreed with the hunter, wtf! Apparently ‘keeping secrets’ is pretty bad. I don’t think it’s anything one should bother mentioning so he and I stand like you two – in disagreement. Counseling is a great idea, I hope it all works out and helps you guys understand eachother’s perspectives more 🙂

    Thinkin of you maggie, hugs xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! It does provoke a good discussion for couples. I need to grab the screen shots of the texts that set this off and then write about the second curve ball. Damn work is getting in the way of this!!

      Like

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