I’m never going to dance again
These guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it’s easy to pretend
I know you’re not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
A wasted chance that I’ve been given
So I’m never going to dance again
The way I danced with you
Oh Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There’s no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you’ll find
What have I done? Is he over-reacting? I think he is, but perhaps it is not for me to say. Our relationship is over according to the Hunter. I am stunned and disbelieving. A wise friend is counseling patience and calm. I am sitting at a restaurant drinking a glass of wine & pondering my situation. WTF happened, you ask? Good question – I am still putting the puzzle pieces together.
Last night I was out later than usual. I was at a city council meeting hoping they would approve my contract and they did. I strolled in the door happy as a jay bird. We had won that business and I scored another win earlier that day, so I was riding high. The Hunter was not.
He is sitting outside in a full blown snit. “You know what you did”. My mind was racing. I thought he had discovered this blog. Shit, I think I would have a hard time coming to terms with someone writing about me albeit anonymously.
Let me digress for a moment. The Hunter recently discovered the joys of an iPad and he had been logging onto his FB thru my app. I was a bit trepidatious since I have the WordPress app and Google Hangout on there, but I figured he wouldn’t snoop and his computer skills are minimal. Who knew FB would be my demise?
He went into my profile and found DB in my Messenger. Shit. DB is an old high school friend that I haven’t seen since high school. He and I have sexted in the past, but this came to a full stop once I got involved with the Hunter. This didn’t stop DB from sending me harmless flirty messages about watching me have sex with the Hunter, him daydreaming about me sucking his cock, etc. The Hunter said he read it all, but if he really had, he would have realized I was being s good girl. OK, good in our world. DB was sexting or flirting heavy and I was deflecting but not putting a full halt to it. The Hunter accused me of cheating. Holy shit – over some texts? Are you kidding me? It was nothing to me but harmless flirting that stroked my ego. Even DB admits that he is harmless and not going to pursue this because he has a girlfriend in real life.
The Hunter is hurting oh so bad. I think he is over-reacting but then again I am not on the receiving end of this drama. His texts today were angry and betrayed. I tried apologizing but stepped back because I really don’t think I was being horrible. What devastates me the most is that I have hurt, perhaps irrevocably, a good man who has been open, honest and caring. What a shit I am. It’s hard to realize how callous I have been.
Now it is Day Two. Last night I ran some errands so he could come home, shower and relax without having me there. When I got home he was out on the patio smoking. He had nothing to say to me. I went inside to watch a little TV but after 45 minutes, I gave up and went back outside. He told me it was over. Really over. I tried to gently argue my case but he would have nothing of it. For the second night in a row, he slept on the couch. Our weekend plans are cancelled. I cannot reach him. I am lost.