When I get that feeling
I want sexual healing
Sexual healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual healing baby, is good for me
Sexual healing is something that’s good for me
The sex with the Hunter continues to be the best sex of my life. Yes, we have settled down a bit and our major fuck fests have waned, but that’s fine. We can still crank it up like we did when I got home from my trip. I want to take a minute to check in about our sex life. I mean what’s the purpose of a sometimes sex blog if I don’t get into some of the nitty gritty?
A handful of times (pun intended) during sex the Hunter puts his hands around my neck. He uses very light pressure when he does this. I clearly have the power to tap out at any time, so this becomes a great turn-on for me. He did it last week as he was fucking me from behind and it was hot, oh so hot. Afterwards I told him a quick story which surprised him, so I will share it with you.
When I was living with my Ex, prior to being married, he put his hands around my neck one evening. We weren’t in bed. I vividly remember exactly where we were – our first apartment at the doorway to the kitchen by the dining area. I don’t know why he put his hands around my neck, but it freaked me out and I told him to stop very loudly and clearly. He got angry and said that he would put his hands on my neck whenever he wanted and I had no reason or right to say no. Then he grabbed me by the neck. I hated it. He would do it intermittently throughout our marriage and it was a recurring power struggle between us. I should have just kicked him in the balls, but I never did. Interestingly enough, that never entered our bedroom.
Now that I listen avidly to Dan Savage, I realize what a douche bag my Ex was to do something like that without my consent. I now understand that consent is not optional but a clear, line-in-the-sand right and with that I can say NO and he must respect it – period. The Hunter clearly gets the consent , so I trust him implicitly. He wants me warm, sexy and welcoming at all times, so he always wants to make sure I am comfortable with whatever we are doing.
Last week I pulled out my vibrator two mornings after he went to work. Once was shortly after we had some great sex. I have come to realize that the Hunter’s ego takes a slight hit when he learns that I have used the vibrator. He believes that he’s not satisfying me. I have told him that is definitely not the case, but he should be happy when I pull out a vibrator because it means that my sex drive has kicked into overdrive. For me, orgasms with vibrators and orgasms during sex are very different. For me, a vibrator orgasm is a quick burst of ecstasy that cannot be sustained and sometimes not even repeated. When the Hunter plays me well, I achieve waves of orgasms or exceedingly awesome waves of sensation – in my mind it’s clearly orgasms but to each their own. I am a firm believer that women have different types of orgasms depending on what’s being stimulated. Once I explained all of this to the Hunter, his worries subsided a bit, but he did go get some more Cialis so we can play harder.
Speaking of playing harder, that leads to another interesting conversation with the Hunter. I was telling him that I wanted him to make sweet, slow love to me. He laughed and told me that I am not one to enjoy it sweet and slow. I disagreed and we got into a friendly, funny debate about it. In order to resolve it once and for all, we had a grand experiment of sweet and slow versus hard and fast. Damnit – he’s right. It was a fun experiment though….
My 30-day break from conversations about threesomes is ending, so they are now re-entering our conversations. He introduced the conversation again last week and explained very clearly what he wanted. He wants a prostitute/escort who will watch us fuck. This will take place in a motel, not our home. He wants her to play with herself and talk dirty while watching us. If I would allow it to escalate, he would give me full control over telling this woman how to suck his cock, etc. plus allowing me to stop things at any time. Very interesting. I am thinking about this because he is clearly listening to my concerns and he’s prepared to address them all.
At the end of the day, the Hunter continues to tell me how awesome I am. He is very happy with me, us and our sex life. I have yet to tell him “NO” or turn him away when he wants sex and this is apparently a huge plus for him. As for me, the Hunter is kind, creative and very loving. I continue to be a lucky girl.