"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

I got a pocket,
got a pocket full of sunshine
I’ve got a love and I know that it’s all mine
oh.oh,oh
Do what you want,
but you’re never gonna break me,
sticks and stones are never gonna shake me
oh,oh,oh

Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (a sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)
Take me away (take me away
To better days (to better days)
Take me away (take me away)
A hiding place (a hiding place)

 Natasha Bedingfield

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head. I came back from a lovely weekend celebrating my daughter’s engagement and went straight into a ditch of despair. OK, that’s a bit melodramatic but I did have a post-vacation funk for a day or so. The Hunter talked some sense into me last night and surprisingly I listened to him which resulted in a complete change of attitude. But I am getting ahead of myself once again.

I came back from a weekend with my Ex, daughter and future son-in-law (FSIL) that was quite interesting. First, my Ex was hesitant about even going on this quick trip even though FSIL  begged  invited us to be there. The Ex called me and thought it would be intrusive for us to be there. All of his instincts for the weekend were wrong. He didn’t tell our son (I did – our son was thrilled for his sister). He grumbled about the future mother-in-law (“she’s going to be a handful” were his words). He shrilly vented to me about wedding costs, timing, complaining about having the wedding in her current city and not her hometown (I suggested an engagement/bridal shower in our hometown to bridge that gap). He simply wasn’t in a good place. I was bemused by this. When I got home, the Hunter had to explain why my Ex was such a curmudgeon.

The Hunter’s theory (and I agree) is that my Ex has not recovered from the divorce. He hasn’t gone through the soul-searching necessary to understand what went wrong in our marriage. Then couple that unfinished business with the in-your-face euphoria of a newly engaged couple and the result is misery. Interesting. I know it sounds cold, but I really don’t care about his misery.

I, on the other hand, apparently was wrestling with my thoughts about me and the Hunter. I wasn’t longing for him and intensely missing him, so since I am relatively inexperienced in these things, I questioned my commitment. My dormant jealous streak peeked out a bit wondering if he would be up to no good, but I kept my crazy in its box. When he accidentally locked out my dog-walking neighbor, I didn’t have a meltdown and the Hunter was apologetic and contrite. We were all adults. I kept questioning myself and my feelings for him – what am I supposed to be feeling for this guy? Is he the guy for me?

I returned home to flowers and a lovely lunch. I had time to shower and relax before the Hunter got home from work. We talked, smoked some pot and fucked like rabbits into the late evening. It was excellent. I have to confess, I had to have sex with my eyes closed. When I opened them and looked at my ceiling and my room, all my unfinished business both work and personal would come flooding into my brain. That is not conducive for a great orgasm. If my eyes were closed, I was transported to another place where I relaxed and could stay in the moment. With such an easy fix to the problem, I simply kept my eyes shut and reveled in the waves of orgasms.

This morning we had a fabulous romp. He woke up around 2:30 in the morning and began cuddling with me. I drowsily awoke and we snuggled, kissed, talked a little, napped for over an hour. Then he was spooning me and kissed the back of my neck, gently bit my shoulder and I was TURNED ON! That was it—I had to have him, so we had some great sex with him mostly taking me from behind.

I have relaxed withe Hunter and am just going with the flow of the deepening of our relationship. I still have a lot of thoughts to work through and that’s fine. This weekend we are camping so I’ll hopefully have some quiet time off the grid for reflection and writing.

Oh yeah, I told both my kids that I am living with the Hunter. It was such an anti-climatic, non-issue that it’s scarcely worth mentioning. We will see if that is truly the case because my son rolls into town for a week before heading back for summer school.

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Comments on: "Pocket Full of Sunshine" (3)

  1. All good! Yay!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! It is a whole new experience to have a “grown-up” relationship. Very interesting to say the least. We are going camping this weekend. The Hunter wants hot sex in the woods. I should have stories to tell on Monday…..

      Liked by 1 person

  2. […] settled down a bit and our major fuck fests have waned, but that’s fine. We can still crank it up like we did when I got home from my trip. I want to take a minute to check in about our sex life. I mean what’s the purpose of a sometimes […]

    Like

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