You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I’ll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
And you’ll be there
‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Ooooooh, oooohhh yeah, yeah
For me, one thing that stands out about the Hunter is his many, many Acts of Service (this relates to the Five Languages of Love). For example, he got up early on Sunday so he could load coolers in my car for me and then he packed up everything after the festival. He does all of the cooking and grocery shopping; he takes out the garbage and a myriad of other some chores that help me in ways big and small. My Ex never did these things without being asked. The Hunter insists and even apologizes if he misses something (like putting the garbage cans at the curb). Wow. When I read Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, she talked about having a true partner for a spouse. Although I had a big “Ah Ha” moment as I read the book, it’s an even bigger “Ah Ha” moment when you see it in action.
Now, of course, being the recipient of all these lovely Acts of Service resonates with me because Acts of Service is one of my top languages of love. Seriously, if you haven’t taken the quiz, do so. It is really interesting and if you can get your significant other to take it, even better. I also know that the Hunter responds well to Acts of Service as well. The top language for both of us is Touch, so I make sure that I am constantly touching him with small gestures.
I finally got to provide a great Act of Service for him and it scored huge points with the Hunter. I went to two doctor appointments with him. The first one was a quick diagnostic so they could set him up for a CT scan. The Hunter, like many people who are rarely sick, was convinced that he had cancer. He has some nagging lower back pain and had a nasty incident of kidney stones about a year ago, so he thought perhaps it was cancer or kidney stones. Apparently the poor guy has no middle ground here. In any case, I went to both appointments with him. Since I was the calm one, I asked a bunch of questions the first time, got to see the doctor examine his prostate and generally held the Hunter’s hand. The prostate exam made us giggle endlessly afterwards because the young doctor was a bit flustered that I was watching and the Hunter said he used more lube than he was accustomed to.
The second appointment involved a procedure called cystoscopy, which puts a camera up your urethra. I have had it done by this doctor and knew what to expect. The Hunter was very anxious. All morning before his appointment I was getting nervous texts from him. He was worried about the CT scan results, the procedure, and a myriad of “what if’s”. I felt for the poor guy particularly because he had no idea what was going to happen with the cystoscopy. I got to watch that one also. Joy – because I am squeamish with medical procedures. I am glad I was there. Everything was fine. He has one large kidney stone that the doctor doesn’t want to mess with. His back pain has nothing to do with his kidneys or bladder. Little does he know that this is a HUGE relief for me because kidney problems are big problems. He does have an enlarged prostate but nothing that the doctor wanted to pursue. He told the Hunter to stop smoking – pot, cigars – doc said to stop it all.
Now the Hunter is just a mushy pile of appreciation because I went with him, asked questions, held his hand and was just generally supportive. For me, it is wonderful because it was minimal effort on my part and maximum return.
Another wonderful new habit is how we have instinctively incorporated the Touch language of love into our day first thing in the mornings. The Hunter wakes up at 5:00 for work. This is a godforsaken hour for me because I am not a morning person, but I am rapidly growing to enjoy it. We wake up a little before 5 and spend about 15-20 minutes just smooching and touching. What a delicious way to start the day. We rarely have weekday morning sex because he doesn’t like morning quickies. If he leaves me too horny, I simply pull out my vibe and send him the recording. This new routine is getting me out of bed earlier, so I hope to take this new habit and build in healthier routines like the gym. I can get use to waking up early with this to look forward to.
For now, I am basking in the wonder of a man who wants to please me. We continue to talk openly and I’ll tell you about some of our conversations. I find the openness of them refreshing and fascinating.