When the darkness creeps in,
I feel my nightmares watching me.
And when my dreams are sleeping,
I feel my nightmares watching me.
Oh, oh, oh!
I feel my nightmares watching me.
This weekend was a busy one for me because I had to work most of it. I host an annual hospitality tent at a lovely local festival. We distribute about 100 tickets to friends, family and even customers (LOL). My boss was out of the country, but regardless, the bulk of the work rests with me on this day.
I guess that Sunday’s festival had me on edge also because I awoke Sunday morning due to a nightmare. I dreamt an awful dream about my Ex. It was a ridiculous dream where he had all my clothes in a hidden closet and only when I began furiously screaming at him, did he reveal the secret closet which also held my deceased mother’s clothing, my kids’ clothes along with mine. His father, who has been dead for 20+ years, was alive in this dream. I awoke furious and emotional. As I silently cried for a few moments (tears of anger and hurt), the Hunter woke up. “What’s wrong, love?” I told him it was a bad dream and I can’t talk about it yet, but it doesn’t involve him. He pulls me tight, strokes my hair and lulls me back to sleep. I’m a lucky girl.
The reason I dreamt of my Ex on the morning of this festival is that last year he ruined the day for me. He managed to humiliate me and put friends in the middle of it all. It’s a story worth telling, so sit back and read on.
Last year at this time, we were finalizing our divorce. I knew that my Ex was dating someone already. I hadn’t really tried very hard to hit the dating circuit. I was happily enjoying my singleness and my son’s final days of high school. I wanted to get my son off to college and spend some time alone.
This hospitality event is actually funded by one of my biggest clients. They are very, very generous with me. We had completed a big project that had taken a great deal of my time but had given me the biggest payday of my career which enabled me to leave my marriage on my terms. Naturally my Ex hated this client for those reasons and others. Last year was our third year at this festival. My Ex had helped me out at the first one and didn’t attend the second, so I didn’t know if he would show up or not, but I was unconcerned. I should have been concerned…
During our marriage, we had very, very close friends, R& F. F had dated my Ex in college and they remained friends afterwards. I knew that R&F would end up with my Ex at the end of the day, but they were always nice and cordial to me. F even called me crying when I filed for divorce saying that they wanted “joint custody” and didn’t want to choose. Yeah, yeah, my counselor warned me about friends like these. In any case, a couple of weeks earlier I had chatted with F and mentioned the festival. The night before the festival, F called and asked for tickets. I eagerly agreed. She was also bringing her 80+ year old mother, who can be a pain, but whatever.
Festival day arrives and I am walking up to the entrance to greet them and give them their tickets. I get a text from a colleague, “Your Ex is at the tent”. I glibly think, “Oh, F&A must have told him they are coming so they will spend the day together.” I am not too worried. My Ex joins me at the gate and we see F&A approaching. My Ex turns to me and says, “I just want to let you know that my girlfriend, Olga, is also coming along with the Putins.” WTF. The Putins are next-door neighbors of F&A with Mr. Putin being a client of my Ex’s. The Putins also brought along other family members, so all together there is a group of about 8 – 10 people including F&A, my Ex and Olga.
Let me clarify the situation: The Putins and F&A live about an hour away. They all carpooled down together. My Ex got tickets for the Putins and his girlfriend. F&R mooched free tickets off of me for themselves and the bitchy elderly mom. Seriously?! This shit is going down during my WORK event? F&R never warned me of this as good friends should do for one another. I am blindsided by all of this. Lovely.
I quickly rally. I greet everyone with hugs. Distribute my tickets, make sure everyone has tickets to get in and then make excuses of needing to get back to my guests. I bolt back to my tent. Sitting at my tent are my boss, my colleagues, friends, prominent members of the community. Now I have this new entourage of people are about to join us…. I am fuming because my Ex knows I will not pitch a fit in front of people. I announce to everyone that my Ex will be joining us shortly with his new girlfriend, need I say more? My girlfriends rally and lock down. They declare they aren’t leaving. My boss and colleagues quickly drink all the beer so we don’t have to share. I love how they take one for the team – LOL, but it helped because I wasn’t about to be hospitable.
The afternoon was just embarrassing. The bitchy elderly mom is dumped off at my tent. The Putins, F&A, my Ex and Olga enjoyed the festival and then sat down at my tent at the end of the day. Ugh. I overhear my Ex telling R that one of the tents and some of the chairs are “his” and I took them. If he wanted to be petty, those items were all gifts from my kids. The entourage was hanging around wanting to say hello to my son who was scheduled to show up at the end of the day to help me break down the tent. I refused to call him because I was so mad, so I kept telling them that he’s delayed. They ended up running into him in the parking lot on their way out. My son asked why I didn’t have him come earlier, so I had to tell my son that I didn’t want him there because I was so pissed off.
The whole day just clarified who my friends were and what a douche my Ex was (and still is). I spent that evening tired, in tears and incredibly hurt. My girlfriends sent me texts of support because I just couldn’t talk to anyone. It sent me scrambling for an emergency session with my counselor so I could digest it all. I realized that my Ex was doing this, perhaps subconsciously, because it involved that particular client. What an asshole.
What was even more insane was that F stopped by my place the next day because she and her daughter were in the neighborhood. She had never seen my new place and wanted to check it out. She thought everything was hunky dory between us. I confronted her gently about the previous day’s events. I asked her why she didn’t give me a heads up? She had no explanation other than she didn’t know the Putins and Olga were going until that morning. “ Yeah, right,” said my counselor. Interestingly enough all of F’s Facebook postings of the event had pictures of the Putins and my Ex – none of me. That tells a story in itself.
With all of this soap opera drama taking place last year, I went into this year’s event with a bit of trepidation. What if my Ex attended this year? Would he and the Hunter cross paths? No wonder I had a nightmare! I am surprised I didn’t have more, but what a difference a year makes. Tomorrow I’ll tell you about meeting the Hunter’s sister and the Hunter meeting some of my girlfriends.