"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

I’m so glad to be here tonight and I’m so glad to be home. And I believe I’ve got a message for every woman and every man here tonight that ever needed somebody to love. Someone to stay with them all the time, when they’re up and when they’re down. You know, sometimes you get what you want, and then you go and lose what you have. And I believe every woman and every man here tonight listen to my song and it save the whole world. Listen to me.

Everybody wants somebody
Everybody wants somebody to love
Someone to love
Someone to kiss
Sometime to miss, now
Someone to squeeze
Someone to please

Solomon Burke

What a difference a year makes. Recently I hung out with one of my best girlfriends, L. She and I have a lot in common. We are in the same business, both single, about the same age, have an empty nest. L was a great support to me before, during and after I moved out. We were at a really cool and fun festival and we realized that we had done the same festival last year as well. That got us to thinking about all the changes each of us has undergone in the past year.

Last year L was on a third date with a guy she had met online. Today they are engaged and she will be marrying and moving in with him within a couple of months. I am so happy for L. She had a really crappy first marriage. Now she has a wonderful man in her life and she is experiencing what a normal relationship is all about. She is finally allowing herself to be truly happy and relaxed in the relationship. They don’t have serious disagreements and any minor squabbles are rapidly dispensed with. Her man is older and approaching retirement, but he has the money and ability to travel the world. He specifically sought out a traveling companion and soul mate. Her future is bright and she deserves this bounty of joy.

In comparison, last year I was moving through my first round of holidays post-separation and was a bit bitter. I was having no luck dating and was trying to figure out this single life gig. Fast forward to today and I’m more comfortable with my life. My dating life has gotten dramatically better mainly due to Don Juan and BG providing a sexual outlet for me so I’m not so damn needy. I am much more confident in my sexuality and my body continues to get healthier. My relationship with my ex has settled down and we are more at ease with each other when we are together.

L and I discussed my current pipeline of men. Yes, she knows that Don Juan and BG are married. We discussed The Hunter as well. I finally verbalized what has been floating around in the back of my mind the past couple of weeks. These guys are in no way my end game. They are not what I have in mind for any type of LTR. They are practice – foreplay if you will. These guys are part of my journey because they each have something to teach me. It will be interesting to see all the lessons I gain from them. I just need to be careful that I don’t fill all of my time with them because it doesn’t leave me the space necessary to find Mr. Right. For now, though, I’m perhaps not ready for Mr. Right, so let’s continue to enjoy the foreplay.

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Comments on: "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love" (7)

  1. I think this is exactly right! These men are to practise on. Learn what other men are like. Learn what you really want and need in a mate. And hey, if the sex is good along the way, what’s not to like?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Love the idea of the men being foreplay before real LTR!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I know the feeling. I actually wrote something very similar to a friend the other night. None of the men I’ve been with yet have been the end game. But they are there helping me find out which path I want to follow. And that is just as important!
    Let’s enjoy the foreplay before we’re ready to move to something bigger 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly. The good news is that we are recognizing this early. My next step is to figure out the activities and events that will have me bumping into the men that I want to meet. That’s the next challenge!

      Liked by 1 person

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