"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

I Love Playing With Fire

I love playing with fire
And I don’t wanna get burned
I love playing with fire
And I don’t think I’ll ever learn

My heart is aching to see you play
And I can’t wait till another day
The way you shake me is really hot
You know how to use what you got

I love playing with fire
And I don’t wanna get burned
I love playing with fire
And I don’t think I’ll ever learn

The Runaways

I haven’t posted much lately because a) work is ridiculous, so I need to be putting in 10 hour days right now and b) In all my spare time, I have been mulling things over. Reflecting on where I am in my journey, my quest for romantic love. Actually, I have been thinking about sex and its importance in my life. Could I go back to full abstinence while I wait for the right guy to come along? Readers, you will breathe a sigh of relief that my answer is “Nope, I’m not willing to ‘save myself’ for the right guy, whoever that might be.”

That answer plays into a more-than-likely very bad decision I made this week. I am giving BG a second chance. He texted and then called me this week. I wasn’t cold, but I was pretty swamped, so he did get pushed to the side for a couple of hours. When we did talk, I finally used my words like a mature adult (damn, I’m getting better and better at this) and told him that the events of last week made me extremely uncomfortable.

He immediately apologized. He straightened out the course of events which was one bathroom interlude was only to prep and he shot up once. Does that make any difference? Slightly. Let’s try to give him a little credit for honesty. Does he deserve it? I like to think so. He is a wild one so perhaps I am merely indulging my love of the bad boy.

We had a good phone call and then a follow up conversation at dinner. I told him that I like him sober and that I cared enough about him to tell him this bothered me rather than just dumping him. He was appreciative and contrite, but I have been around enough alcoholics to not let my guard down.  He stayed sober that evening (only two drinks, no drugs), but I know that it won’t last.  One thing for sure, it’s back to safe sex with him. He has so many risky behaviors that I can’t continue putting my health at risk with him.

One thing that has popped into my head is that I can also use his wild side to my advantage. I have been curious about going to a strip joint (yes, innocent and naïve Maggie has never been). He can take me there because he goes all the time. The other advantage for me is rougher sex because he’s game. He loves to bite and be bitten. We had some rougher play last week. I used my nails and we both have souvenirs from our romp. There is potential to develop that area. I wonder if he’ll let me tie him up….


Comments on: "I Love Playing With Fire" (1)

  1. I really like your adventuresome spirit. No need to be tied down for anyone at this point. I know you will be careful … but I just want to add my 2 cents … don’t back off on the safe sex with him

    Liked by 2 people

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