"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Cocaine

If you wanna hang out you’ve got to take her out.
Cocaine.
If you wanna get down, down on the ground.
Cocaine.

[Chorus:]
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie;
Cocaine.

If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues.
Cocaine.
When your day is done and you wanna run.
Cocaine.

Eric Clapton

Good grief, this week has been such a mind fuck with regards to my love life. I had the whole feeling neglected by Don Juan drama at the beginning. Yes, I have a follow up to what happened with my email to him and his response. Then I have The Hunter on Facebook openly inviting my competition to go camping this weekend – the weekend that was just for the boys and I wasn’t necessarily included. It appears he may be more of a player than I thought, but we had a text exchange that was flirty, so due to that and the background story on his invite to the competition, I’m OK with The Hunter….for now. There is a potential post about our latest banter.

No, my latest drama is with the seemingly perfect FWB, BG. He is no angel and unfortunately I have to cut him loose. Shit. Fuck. Damn.

How did BG go from Wonder Boy to tossed to the curb? He shot up cocaine in my home last night…twice. The basic story is that he came over to play and since I am not drinking (Sober January), he brought pot and he mentioned he would bring something else I might be interested in. I told him upfront that I’m not interested in cocaine. I draw the line on hardcore drugs – that’s where I become a PollyAnna prude. I never tried it because I’m afraid I would really like it and an addiction doesn’t fit into my life. Easier to Just.Say.No. from the get-go. Now if you want to snort some coke on that rare occasion, I don’t have a problem with that. You will be on my fine line of comfort, but I’m generally OK. But when you stick a needle in your arm in order to get high, I have a serious problem.

Here are some of the details. First of all, he did not shoot up in front of me. He was in the bathroom….for a long time. The first time he disappeared, I realized he was probably doing something he shouldn’t. Let me backtrack for a moment, during an early date he had mentioned that he had shot cocaine in his youth, but he said that those days were behind him. Apparently not. In order to get answers to the questions that were racing through my head after he confessed to shooting up after his second round, I played it cool. Rather than totally freaking out and tossing him out of the house, I remained neutral and asked some questions so I can make an educated decision.

First question: Where are you getting your needles? This was really important because I am having unprotected sex with this guy. HIV and hepatitis alarms were bellowing in my brain. He has a needle from his diabetic uncle, but it’s a year and a half old. Hello, hepatitis test (and yes, every other STI test known to the medical world).

Second question: Tell me about this – meaning how long have you shooting up? He apparently had a serious addiction early in life. This may explain why his first wife (he married at 21 for three years) ran off to Alaska with a guy. He fell off the wagon about four years ago and claims it’s rare. What addict actually confesses to how much they are doing? He made a passing comment about methadone but realized he said too much and changed the subject.
Shit.Fuck.Shit.

Tough luck for me, but the person that I truly feel sorry for is his wife. He was clean when he married her. She knows he smokes pot, goes to strip joints and bars with clients. BG has always been a guy that I find fun, but I would never want him full time.  Hell, she probably suspects he fools around given the opportunity, but injecting cocaine….I am so sorry.

 

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Comments on: "Cocaine" (14)

  1. Wrong guy. Right decision!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You did exactly the right thing. I did a lot of drugs when I was younger — but now that I’m older and wiser, it’s a deal breaker for me. Like you, I don’t have a huge problem with pot — especially now that it is legal in a state just next door — but I personally won’t use it. All it does for me is make me very hungry and sleepy. I don’t need any help in those areas!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, it didn’t help that he called me last night, high & drunk. He confessed to shooting up again and being really drunk. He was driving down an 8-Lane freeway, complaining that his wife was calling and texting him to not drive. Unfortunately that is not the time to dump him – I was too concerned for his safety and the other drivers.

      This drug abuse comes as a surprise to me because he really had been holding it together with me. He’s so smart, educated, funny — it’s so sad he doesn’t realize how awesome he is…sober. Now it appears that he has completely fallen off the wagon.

      Thanks for your support and comment.

      Like

  3. Will Carrier said:

    J. J. Cale wrote that wonderful number, btw. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! Yes, get rid of him asap.
    I mean, if you are a kind soul, and are not afraid of the mess, by all means, help him get better. But considering that you cannot do anything if he doesn’t want to get better… it may not be as simple.
    So YOU are probably better off getting rid of him. On all sorts of levels, from psychological to legal.
    Sigh!
    Good luck with the other two!
    XO
    PS: love the song too btw, and discovering new songs with each of your posts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh no, I do not have any intention of helping or fixing or in any way dealing with his addiction. It is very clear when I talk to him that he is in complete denial of his relapse. He is not mine to fix.

      What is astounding to me is what a high-functioning addict he is. He is very, very smart, which makes him even more dangerous because he can keep it together and hide this. He made the mistake of letting his guard down with me, otherwise it probably would have slipped past me for longer.

      I am glad you like the songs. It’s always a fun challenge to find the right song for each post. This one was a no-brainer.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh yeah, I am a kind but very pragmatic soul. 😉

      Like

  5. […] my words like a mature adult (damn, I’m getting better and better at this) and told him that the events of last week made me extremely […]

    Like

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