"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Gay Bar

You’re a superstar, at the gay bar.
You’re a superstar, at the gay bar.
Yeah! you’re a superstar, at the gay bar.
You’re a superstar, at the gay bar.

Electric Six

In a quick follow up to my great date night with BG, we had some texts over the next two days. I woke up the next day with a scratchy throat and stuffy nose, so I immediately warned him to up his vitamins because I probably got him sick. He thought it was from the pot, but I knew better. Fast forward to today and I’m coming out of a nasty cold that laid me low this weekend. Our best exchange was on Friday, while I’m miserably curled up on my sofa with a box of tissues. He texts me that he’s sitting in a gay bar for Happy Hour – another one of his clients.

Now remember, my first impression of BG was that he could be mistaken for swinging for the other team, so I was bemused that he’s sitting in a gay bar and secretly wondering if he’s being hit on. I then send him my only gay bar joke. I love this joke; it came from a Playboy many, many years ago. Here it is:

A guy just finished a horrific day at work and is headed home. All he wants is to stop for a beer and unwind before he gets home, so he pulls into the first bar he sees. As he walks in, he realizes that he’s in a gay bar. He doesn’t care – he’s too tired and stressed to get back into his car. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “First, you have to tell me the name of your penis”.

The guy says, “Listen, I’ve had a rough day. I’m not gay. I just want a beer. Please – no games, just give me the beer.”

The bartender replies, “No name, no beer.”

The guy is defeated and says, “Fine, first tell me the name of yours.”

The bartender says, “Mine is named Nike—you know, Just Do It”.

The guy thinks for a minute and he says, “Mine is named Secret.”

The bartender stares at him, “Secret?”

“Yeah,” the guy replies, “Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.”

I send this over to BG. He replies, “I’m an idiot, but the bartender here just explained it! You are awesome!”  I was rolling on the floor laughing, which then triggered me hacking up a lung.

He kept me in stitches with his next text. “The 3 gay bartenders here are very friendly.”

I reply, “I am sure they are. Just tell them that your door doesn’t swing.” He replies, “Well, it certainly doesn’t! Right?”  I come back with “You tell me – I could always get you a butt plug. Just saying…”

He volleys back, “I was looking for a little more support on this. No. There is no swinging, no way, no how, never.” He continues with another text, “A threesome would never include another man, at least not in the same room at the same time.”

I reply, “Hey, I will fully support you in any way possible. You are so funny. I’ve done a MWM threesome. They never touched. I’ve never done a WMW threesome. I don’t know if I would play with a woman. My door may not swing that way.”

He backs off, “Not really saying that we need to consider it. I’m very happy with us as we are

I recognize that I’m pushing his boundaries, so I respond, “Me too. I’m yanking your chain. Trust me – you are plenty for me. Wednesday was awesome. I’ve been doing a replay frequently….”

He replies, “Me too, like this morning in the shower”.

“Hmmm, sexy,” I text.  Yes, it is very sexy when a man masturbates using you as his morning inspiration.  Like I said in the previous post, BG may be a perfect FWB.

By the way, the video of this song is hilarious.  Very funny song…


Comments on: "Gay Bar" (11)

  1. Yes, I like this song 🙂
    And this post.
    Very cute gay joke. I like it because it’s non judgmental 🙂
    Hope you’re back to full health now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How did I get you sick!? So sorry 😦


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