"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Patience

Said, woman, take it slow
It’ll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said, sugar, make it slow
And we come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(patience)
Mm, yeah

Guns N’ Roses

I have to confess that over the past week Don Juan has been in my thoughts several times a day. Why is it that what I can’t have is exactly what I now want? Good grief – leaving on such a high note was one sure way to go out with a bang (multiple bangs if we want to be accurate) and to keep my fire burning. We had fallen into a habit of getting together on Sunday nights, so for the first time in a month, here I sit without him. He’s not too big on communication, so I am not expecting to hear from him, particularly since his son’s getting married this week.

In the meantime, I am keeping myself busy. The holiday parties have already kicked in for me, so I have a variety of events both last week and this week. On Saturday I had a real date. One of those where the guy picked me up, opened my car door and….we had no spark. Nice guy, but he didn’t even kiss me good-night. This was our second meeting. What gives? Am I too intimidating? I can be a bit much for some guys and I get it. Sometimes I talk about work too much and my work can intimidate guys. In any case, I got home relatively early and decided that maybe we just aren’t a match. Who knows, perhaps he’ll call again which would be fine, but if he doesn’t, that’s fine also.

A couple of POF guys have my number and should be calling over the next couple of days. I’m not holding my breath or worried about them either. Just more options for my pipeline and if they don’t call, it’s fine. I went through POF today briefly and decided that it’s just too much work for me right now along with too many familiar faces. Perhaps next year I’ll check out OK Cupid or make some effort with POF, but with the holidays fast approaching and my kids returning, why bother?

I listened to a couple of Dan Savage podcasts this weekend and he was telling someone that when you are dating, you have to remember that you are going to meet a lot of people who aren’t the One and that you’ll have to continue until you finally meet the One. This ties into a book I read this past week, “It’s Just a F***ing Date: Some Sort of Book About Dating” by Greg Behrendt and Amira Ruotola. This book is by the guy who wrote, “He’s Just Not Into You”.

The book is a quick read and has some good advice. For example, Principal #5 “Don’t Freak People Out with Your Need” and Principal #8 “Not Every Date is Going to Turn into a Relationship”. Their take is to sit back and wait these guys out. Give them space to think about you and if they like you. Don’t rush in texting or calling to say “thank you” or whatever – create a little distance. It has come in handy after this Saturday date. I am relaxed, kicked back and feel no need to text this guy to follow up. They also actually give you a first date/meeting scoring matrix so you can decide quantitatively if guy makes the cut for a second date. This is helpful and confirms what I have been learning in my new round of dating which is people are nervous, so if they have decent manners and some other attributes, they are worth a second chance.

This weekend felt normal. Normal meaning getting back to my routines prior to my Ashley Madison craze. I relaxed and didn’t do some of the things on my To Do List, but that’s OK. I feel good except for a little anxiety about some of the things going on this week. I am throwing a cocktail party for 400 on Thursday. My team has been to this rodeo before, so it will be fine. In the meantime, I need a new Sunday routine for a couple of weeks, so I’ll call some of my girlfriends and get that fixed.

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Comments on: "Patience" (6)

  1. Longing for Don Juan is good!

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    • Hmmmm. I am feeling vulnerable with a man who doesn’t communicate inbetween meetings. I’m not feeling so good.

      Liked by 1 person

      • No, you wouldn’t like that feeling, would you. Control is a tough mistress

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      • I like to think that I’m not a control freak, but, well, I do have those tendencies like any Type A person. I try to catch myself and recognize when I’m doing it, so I can back off. So not having a sense of control or understanding of this relationship is a whole new rodeo for me and I’m not thrilled with the ride right now.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. […] Four days after he left, I sent him the first text which has a link to Guns N’ Roses song, Patience, with a quick hello. The second text was sent this past Sunday morning, 10 days after he left. It […]

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  3. […] Right now I can’t even be a part of that priority list because it’s been more than a month since we have been in touch. I was hopeful that you would dash from the plane and contact me within 24 hours of arriving, but […]

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