We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day.
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting
And I tell you how easy it is to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me.
But I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was thinking about how right tonight might be.
Last night was the Bon Voyage evening with Don Juan. He leaves in the next day or so for a month. We’ll see each other in January when he returns. It was an interesting evening – a really good evening, but also interesting in both what was said and unsaid.
After saying farewell to my kids and seeing my ex for the third time in three days (don’t even ask, I’ll think about writing a post about it), I was ready for a self-indulgent evening with Don Juan. I stopped by one of my favorite Italian restaurants and picked up an antipasto. He had the wine. One thing I have learned about him is that food is rarely on his agenda.
When I arrived, he immediately apologized because he still had a couple of phone calls to make. There was a minor wedding crisis that he needed to resolve involving elderly relatives who had not gotten their emailed wedding invite. Of course they didn’t – they are in the 80’s! Then he tells me that during the ceremony he is performing a song with his wife and his son’s best friend. They haven’t been able to rehearse together and will only have time for 1-2 practice sessions prior to the ceremony. That was really interesting. I wasn’t familiar with the band or the song, which lead to a whole discussion and listening of their music. Very cool.
Then our conversation flowed to my Thanksgiving weekend with kids, the ex, the married friends who I saw on Saturday and the transition of relationships during and after a divorce. He suggested a book that he said made a tremendous difference in his life, Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Here is a taste of it:
“As you can see, you never know how life will turn out or why particular events occur. The Law of Acceptance teaches us that we always evolving, whether we are aware of it or not. What might look like the worst event that has ever befallen you could be part of a brilliantly designed plan that will lead you to a place of fulfillment, peace and contentment. Accepting your circumstances instantly relieves you of your internal struggle and frees you to start seeing new possibilities.”
I already sent him a text telling him we will have a discussion on this book upon his return. Very interesting, very interesting indeed.
I was touched last night. He is truly going to miss me over the next month – he made that abundantly clear not only with words but also actions. I stayed over last night but we didn’t sleep much. When we woke up this morning, he looked me in the eye and told me how lovely I looked. Morning breath, smeared eye liner, hair on end and he was telling me from the bottom of his heart. Don Juan is making plans for his return – things he wants to do with me. Not only in the bedroom but other things. He is planning a future which is a definite clue about his thoughts towards me. I told you this was an interesting evening.
In the meantime, I’ll continue with my pipeline of 6 or so guys and see where they lead. You can’t put all your money on one horse; that much I know for sure.