"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Oh there’s no place like home
For the holidays, ’cause no matter
How far away you roam
If you want
To be happy in a million ways
For the holidays, you can’t beat
Home, sweet home

Perry Como

Just a quick note about this song intro — it was originally intended to be a Thanksgiving song.  Since this post is about my upcoming Thanksgiving plans or lack thereof, I thought it was appropriate.  

I have been off all the dating websites now since October 22nd, a full three weeks, and my life has settled down immeasurably. Yes, it’s still busy and I’m still trying to juggle perhaps too many men, but the insanity has waned and my head feels clearer. I still have some guys pinging me from before and that’s OK. But I’m ready to settle back with the current crop of 4 and see where they lead.

The holidays are fast approaching and I have to figure out my plans. Thanksgiving could become very interesting very fast. Two of my guys will be without their families. HR will still be in the state, however, he is planning on spending at least part of it with his mom who is in a nursing home.  Don Juan’s family is leaving very early that Friday morning to their home country, so they aren’t celebrating the holiday. He’ll stay here while they are home (remember, he commutes and works between two cities). He’ll be joining them a week later, and will be out of the country for all of December.  It’s interesting how two AM guys have such dysfunctional family lives that they are spending the holiday alone.  Yes, I am taking that as a mild red flag to be aware of.

Prior to learning about these guys’ schedules, Thanksgiving was already a complex logistical time for me. My daughter is bringing her boyfriend home for the first time. He’s never been to our city, so we all want to show him the sights. My son will be home from his first semester away at college. These are key reasons for me to stay close to home. I acceded Thanksgiving to my ex because he is one of four siblings and they all celebrate Thanksgiving together. It’s far more important to me (and my kids) to have my kids spend Thanksgiving with their cousins, aunts and uncles. I am planning a rollicking Friday for all the cousins, friends, etc. to hang out together at a really cool area of town. We’ll be able to spend the day together and the boyfriend will get a real flavor of our town. Yes, I am trying to stay 29 forever and be the popular aunt/adult of the family. This time I swear my liver will not be punished like it was this past weekend.

But Thanksgiving Day is a potential quandary. I have my girlfriend who rescued me last year by taking me out on my first Thanksgiving alone. She may be my first priority in all of this. Then the question becomes do I try to see HR one more time before he heads back home or do I hang out with Don Juan? Too soon to say. I think the answer will be clearer after my upcoming weekend with HR. I am also a bit gun shy about having one of these guys in my place with both my kids in town. My kids could potentially be staying here, and if they aren’t, they oftentimes will just randomly pop over either unannounced or with little notice, which usually I don’t mind. Since I have no idea where they are staying, there is a strong possibility they could be spending those nights with me. Arghhh!!

One thing I have made clear to my daughter and myself – Thanksgiving won’t be spent with my ex and his family. I am done with being tolerated.


Comments on: "No Place Like Home for the Holidays" (10)

  1. Well good luck with the Circus! It should be interesting.


    • It’s never a dull moment with me! I just set up the Friday event and it will be epic. My daughter is thrilled with what I arranged and I already feel another post will readily result from the day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck with figuring it all out.

    My kids also tend to pop here unannounced so I must be very careful when I entertain. But I spent Christmas eve and day without them last year and it wasn’t easy. I also moved houses while they were away, which made it all a bit strange…
    At least, this year, they are with me 🙂
    I miss Thanksgiving. I used to love that holiday. But where I live now, we don’t celebrate it at all, so I’ll have to make do without it :-/


    • Thanks! It can be tough adapting to the change, right? It’s funny, i spent about 20 years throwing Thanskgiving for between 18-25 guests. I loved doing it, but now….I don’t miss all the work involved. Christmas will be more logistics but it seems like that’s more settled with me getting Xmas Eve. Im learning to just spend the holiday time appreciating my many blessings and focusing on the positives.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, it was difficult at first for me to think about being away from my kids. And then… I realised while I was there that it wasn’t all that bad. I thought I could sleep in the morning, not having to get up super early to open presents (except my kids rang to wish me a merry Christmas, which sort of ruined the late morning, but was also very welcome!).
        I haven’t thrown a party since I moved houses. I wanted to, but then I was sick for my Bday, I was injured for four months and then had no money… I guess it’ll wait a little while longer 🙂
        You are right, there is nothing else to do than enjoy the positives and forget about the rest. I try to do just that too, as often as I can!


      • You got it! I plan some cool meal for myself, get a great movie and veg. I rarely do that so its a treat.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is my first Thanksgiving on my own and I can’t figure out what to do. I have two adult kids who live at home and neither want to go out to dinner with their father. However, back when my husband first left me and his mother was so upset, I assured her that we would be cordial enough to spend holidays together. Now that the holiday is here, I’m regretting that promise and I don’t think it’s fair for me to pressure my kids into spending Thanksgiving with him if they don’t want to. I thought about leaving the state (seriously) to avoid all the drama (because if I went to spend Thanksgiving with my folks, how could his parents complain)? But my kids would be stuck here due to work and I know they would be guilted into spending time with their grandparents and dad – and then I would have to drive two full days just to spend a day or two with my parents. Perhaps I just need to put on my big girl panties and tell his mother that we’re just not interested. Sigh.


    • To be very blunt, you don’t have to honor a promise made in the throes of an emotionally turbulent time. Don’t allow her to guilt you otherwise. I think that simplicity may work best. Just tell her NOW that you have other plans for Thanksgiving – no details. As for the kids – they are adults so that’s completely between them and their dad. You have probably spent years as the middle man in their relationship with their dad, right? STOP. They need to stand on their own two feet and tell their dad and grandparents that they also have other plans. That is not your problem any longer – congrats!!


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