If you want to know
(Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop)
If he loves you so
(Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop)
Its in his kiss
(Thats where it is)
(Or is it in his face?)
Oh no, it’s just his charms
(In his warm embrace?)
Oh no, thats just his arms
I was finally able to coordinate schedules with one of the AM guys that I have been chatting with. He took me to a basketball game (he has great season tickets) and we met at a bar (one of his clients) for a very enjoyable evening. The conversation flowed; he is smart and funny. He has potential, but…. There is always a but isn’t there? Let’s list Pros and Cons for Basketball Guy (BG):
- Attentive – he calls and/or texts me every day and not in an obnoxious way
- Good manners and nice
- Good body, attractive
- Smart, successful
- Easy to talk to
- Effeminate voice – seriously folks, if I met him at a networking event, I would think he was gay. Don’t get me wrong– I love my gays, but I am looking for a hetero guy for a FWB situation.
- He was trying a little too hard to please me – he wanted to get me a present. Name it and it was mine. An expensive present like a designer handbag or the like. I don’t like feeling that I can be bought. OK, the basketball tickets are alluring because it is a fun evening, but NO, I can buy my own damn tickets if I really wanted them.
- Here are the two biggest cons in my mind: he’s not a good kisser and when we were kissing, he was a little rough. Let me break this down further. He walks me to my car and kisses me good night. He doesn’t kiss well. Not enough tongue or soft lips – no decent pucker. At the same time, he grabs me (which I don’t mind, I like a bit assertive) but he’s a little rough. He puts his hands down the back of my jeans to squeeze my ass. I wasn’t alarmed but I did think, “that was interesting and unexpected.”
So I have been polling women and now would like to extend this poll to my readers. Does a bad kisser portend a lousy romp under the covers? Can a guy improve his kissing? A couple of women wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and said perhaps he was nervous. We both had a few drinks (he outdrank me which is easy) so perhaps alcohol was at play?
At the end of the day, my informal poll had a 100% consensus – bad kisser, bad in bed. I am naïve or nice enough to give him another chance, so we are getting together again this week because he has enough potential to warrant a second chance. He wants to get together close to my place, so we all know where this is going.
After I wrote all of this, I went to the gods of Goggle and accidentally came across this New York Times article about Oxford University research on kissing. According to Rafael Wlodarski, the researcher, “The participants generally rated kissing in casual relationships as most important before sex, less important during sex, even less important after sex and least important “at other times.” (To clarify: researchers defined kissing as “on the lips or open-mouth (French).”) So if I’m reading this correctly, if I fuck him the kissing won’t matter so much? Hmmm, that’s interesting.