"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

It’s In His Kiss?

If you want to know
(Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop)
If he loves you so
(Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop)
Its in his kiss
(Thats where it is)

(Or is it in his face?)
Oh no, it’s just his charms
(In his warm embrace?)
Oh no, thats just his arms

Betty Everett

I was finally able to coordinate schedules with one of the AM guys that I have been chatting with. He took me to a basketball game (he has great season tickets) and we met at a bar (one of his clients) for a very enjoyable evening. The conversation flowed; he is smart and funny. He has potential, but…. There is always a but isn’t there?  Let’s list Pros and Cons for Basketball Guy (BG):

  • Attentive – he calls and/or texts me every day and not in an obnoxious way
  • Good manners and nice
  • Good body, attractive
  • Smart, successful
  • Easy to talk to


  • Effeminate voice – seriously folks, if I met him at a networking event, I would think he was gay. Don’t get me wrong– I love my gays, but I am looking for a hetero guy for a FWB situation.
  • He was trying a little too hard to please me – he wanted to get me a present. Name it and it was mine. An expensive present like a designer handbag or the like. I don’t like feeling that I can be bought. OK, the basketball tickets are alluring because it is a fun evening, but NO, I can buy my own damn tickets if I really wanted them.
  • Here are the two biggest cons in my mind: he’s not a good kisser and when we were kissing, he was a little rough. Let me break this down further. He walks me to my car and kisses me good night. He doesn’t kiss well. Not enough tongue or soft lips – no decent pucker. At the same time, he grabs me (which I don’t mind, I like a bit assertive) but he’s a little rough. He puts his hands down the back of my jeans to squeeze my ass. I wasn’t alarmed but I did think, “that was interesting and unexpected.”

So I have been polling women and now would like to extend this poll to my readers. Does a bad kisser portend a lousy romp under the covers? Can a guy improve his kissing? A couple of women wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and said perhaps he was nervous. We both had a few drinks (he outdrank me which is easy) so perhaps alcohol was at play?

At the end of the day, my informal poll had a 100% consensus – bad kisser, bad in bed. I am naïve or nice enough to give him another chance, so we are getting together again this week because he has enough potential to warrant a second chance. He wants to get together close to my place, so we all know where this is going.

After I wrote all of this, I went to the gods of Goggle and accidentally came across this New York Times article about Oxford University research on kissing. According to Rafael Wlodarski, the researcher, “The participants generally rated kissing in casual relationships as most important before sex, less important during sex, even less important after sex and least important “at other times.” (To clarify: researchers defined kissing as “on the lips or open-mouth (French).”) So if I’m reading this correctly, if I fuck him the kissing won’t matter so much? Hmmm, that’s interesting.


Comments on: "It’s In His Kiss?" (6)

  1. Little risk in doing date #2 to get more data. I say give him a chance

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Definitely give it another go. I’ve found that men can learn to kiss me the way I like—I can kind of direct the kissing with my mouth and tongue and they’ll respond. I do find kissing very erotic during sex; it seems to enhance the sensations with that connection. But that might be just my own personal taste. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Warm Creme said:

    Isn’t rating the mechanics of the kiss a little subjective? As the others have said, a second go sounds like it could help you make a better determination.

    The gifting situation is the one thing that makes me nervous. I went on a platonic date (it really wasn’t a date) when I was single (yet committed). The woman was 10 years my senior and I set the ground rules during the planning stage. She was (what I now consider to be) a young executive in the fashion industry and we met on a previous evening in a mar setting. Since we were both from out of town and happened to meet and hit it off, we decided to spend the day together, seeing the sights, eating and just hanging out together. During that “date” day, it wasn’t long before she was offering to buy me items that we saw when we were shopping. She was looking at some expensive clothes and telling me what would look great or “sexy” on me. If I lacked scruples and was a user, I could have had boosted my wardrobe with some very nice clothing. What I did sense was that she was attempting to buy me and it felt very strange. We spent the rest of the day together and at dinner she asked me back to her room for a drink and “nothing else.” Her traveling companion (another female colleague) was sharing her room, so I felt at ease. MISTAKE!

    I had a drink and fought to keep my clothes on as hers seemed to disintegrate before my eyes. Her roommate retired to her room after we had exchange pleasantries, leaving me there to fend off this woman. Needless to say, I reminded her of the pre-date agreement, and very politely rebuffed her advances. She wanted a kiss as I was standing in her doorway. I obliged and she gave me a 30-second sensual massage and I said goodbye walking to the elevator. She stood in the doorway, as I rounded the corner to the lobby.

    The next day a package was left for me that contained the $500 leather jacket that she thought would look sexy on me. Inside the pocket was her business card and her home phone number. I tossed the card and gave the jacket to a friend of mine.


    Give the guy a chance, but avoid his gifting.


    • I know that all gifts come with a price and there is no such thing as a free ride. I see it in my business life constantly. I didn’t put this in the post, but he told me he already got burned twice on AM by women who did take advantage of him by having him buy things for them. Not my style – i’m too classy for that, but it makes me wonder about him…..

      Liked by 1 person

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