If you find that you’re losing
Girl, it’s time to get on moving
‘Cause there’s danger
Heartbreak dead ahead
Well, it only takes one second, girl, to learn
That playing with fire will get you burned
So girl, don’t you be foolish
Now it’s time to talk about Skittish. When Skittish and I first started on AM, he was shy and nervous. You can read about our first encounter here. While we were both out of town for the weekend, I got a couple of drunk texts from him. I liked it – he was thinking about me. Then he comes back and immediately needs to leave for a conference. I IM him to stop by my place before he goes. He actually does this and we have a 30 minute chat in my living room. He needs to run some errands and hits the road. After he leaves, I IM him that he blew it – he should have kissed me. He confesses that he’s nervous, but he was staring at my legs and thinking about naughty things on my living room ottoman with me. That was hot and I tell him. I tell him to come back and I’ll jump him. Damn, if the guy doesn’t come back over. I grab him and we start making out in my foyer. I grab his cock – he is super hard. Then I am on my couch and he’s going down on me. It’s very hot. I am begging him to fuck me – I have condoms within reach, but he doesn’t. He moves towards me, so I put his cock in my mouth. The instant my lips wrap on his dick, he cums on my stomach. He’s embarrassed about the quick orgasm and for cuming on my stomach. I tell him no worries and later IM him that I would have swallowed.
He heads off to his conference. I head off to my frustrating experience with Iceman which you’ll read about here. I end up home and we replay the afternoon. I get off with my vibe. The next morning he goes dark. Uh oh I think – he’s full of second thoughts. I IM him that afternoon – nothing. Yep. He’s filled with remorse. So after 24 hours of no contact, I write the following email to him:
You’ve been quiet so I’m guessing you are doing a lot of thinking. I have been too. It’s hard for you to make any decisions with a void of information about me and my expectations, so let me tell you my thoughts this morning:
1). My only expectation/hope is a really outstanding romp under the covers with you at this time. Let’s see if we are sexually compatible. I have no expectations of how often we would get together, if we would try to do things together or if this is simply great sex with two consenting adults. It’s too soon to say.
2) I have no stalker/obsessive characteristics. What I do need and expect is communication. Just tell me. If it’s over, that’s fine, but I need the closure of you telling me. If you want it to be pure sex, that’s probably fine for now, but we may need to keep that conversation open depending upon how thing go. The point is talk to me – honestly. Things between us will go much more smoothly. I’m never a screamer or drama queen. I’ve been working on confronting people more so this is good for me.
3) I promise on my side that there will be no drama. I have things at stake also. I would lose some community leadership positions and I would have some work issues.
Right now we are two strangers who seem to want to make a strong connection. I do find you very attractive and it’s not just the physical. You have integrity – it shows with your nervousness. You care about people’s feelings – your discretion. You’re a trained investigator so my guess is that you look at problems from various angles, so this “problem” must be occupying your mind as you work through various scenarios. There’s more but this is enough for now.
Let me make it easy. To me, you are sexy and attractive. I think we would have fun. You need to determine your boundaries and tell me. Hopefully it’s all good and we can play. I think we can get there – it just requires very open communication. So, the ball is in your court. This is my last communication because I don’t want to seem needy, stalkerish, etc. I have my pride as well :).
All the best,
Maggie May (yeah, you finally get my last name)
He sits on that message all day. All fucking day. Finally, he sends me the following around 4:00:
You are right, ive been thinking alot. And Im scared, sorry just the feeling is weird
I completely understand. That’s why I sent the email. Take your time. …. Or not. (LOL). Obviously you can tell I’m feeling a strong physical attraction right now, but you need to feel it too. We can talk more too. Like I said before – just communicate with me. Whenever you want to stop, just say so.
He thinks for about 20 minutes and replies: im not sure if i want to do this again. its not right
NOTE: He had told me that he had an affair three years ago with a married woman. He ended it when she wanted more.
I come back with:
That’s fine. No harm no foul. If you change your mind, I would be flattered. Any way you go about this, there is going to be pain. Sorry, but at the end of the day, the odds favor that. Either there is the twinge of us not working out for whatever reason or the worst case scenario on your end.
I can’t help you there. What I can tell you is that something is missing from your marriage, just like something was missing from mine. My marriage was a house of cards – the sex was first bad & later non-existent. I’m in a full rebound mode but have no desire at this time for a LTR or even a steady boyfriend. I know it sounds selfish but I spent the past 30 years taking care of others. Now I am taking care of me. Yep, I’m just a selfish hussy looking out for herself. 🙂
The last part was a bit defensive on my part, so I amend it a couple of minutes later:
Ok I’m re-reading my last declaration that basically “I don’t need no stinkin’ man – I’m a free, independent woman! Yeah!” Well, that’s a lot of BS. Eventually I would like to come across a nice, decent man who satisfies and truly understands me on many levels. I’m just not sure I’m in the right place for that guy right now. But at the end of the day, I just think we are all seeking a connection. There. I’m done…for now.
Nothing. No reply. It’s over. On to the next.