"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Archive for September, 2014

Travelin’ (Wo)Man

Travelin’ man, love when I can
Turn loose my hand ’cause I’m goin’
Travelin’ man, catch if you can
But sooner than later I’m goin’

Bob Seger

This is just a quick post about my upcoming trip next week to a city of incredibly friendly men. I discovered that another excellent use of AM is to provide excellent local knowledge and tour guides when you are in a new city. A girlfriend has invited me to mooch off her business trip, so I have been sworn to good behavior. She works in a conservative profession and is meeting with an even more conservative client, so in order to enjoy the perks, I must behave. This is absolutely no problem for me and my reward for good behavior will hopefully be more of these trips in the future.

In any case, I used the AM “Traveling Woman” feature and boom! I have a field of talent to select from. I have about 3-4 frontrunners which will have to be culled to about 2. One is a 29-year-old boy toy. I wasn’t going to go young, but my girlfriend (God love her!) says, “Why not? You aren’t in Kansas anymore, Dorothy, go have some fun.” Hey, who am I to argue with that logic?

This is an exceptionally friendly city and the handsome local boys are all full of helpful tips on places to go, restaurants, etc. Any logistical question we have had, I ping my boys and the answers come rolling in. Very nice. Stay tuned for more about the trip and also about my first date with an apparently NORMAL single (OK, he’s separated) guy from AM.

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Danger Heartbreak Dead Ahead

If you find that you’re losing
Girl, it’s time to get on moving
‘Cause there’s danger
Heartbreak dead ahead

Well, it only takes one second, girl, to learn
That playing with fire will get you burned
So girl, don’t you be foolish

Bonnie Raitt

Now it’s time to talk about Skittish. When Skittish and I first started on AM, he was shy and nervous. You can read about our first encounter here. While we were both out of town for the weekend, I got a couple of drunk texts from him. I liked it – he was thinking about me. Then he comes back and immediately needs to leave for a conference. I IM him to stop by my place before he goes. He actually does this and we have a 30 minute chat in my living room. He needs to run some errands and hits the road. After he leaves, I IM him that he blew it – he should have kissed me. He confesses that he’s nervous, but he was staring at my legs and thinking about naughty things on my living room ottoman with me. That was hot and I tell him. I tell him to come back and I’ll jump him. Damn, if the guy doesn’t come back over. I grab him and we start making out in my foyer. I grab his cock – he is super hard. Then I am on my couch and he’s going down on me. It’s very hot. I am begging him to fuck me – I have condoms within reach, but he doesn’t. He moves towards me, so I put his cock in my mouth. The instant my lips wrap on his dick, he cums on my stomach. He’s embarrassed about the quick orgasm and for cuming on my stomach. I tell him no worries and later IM him that I would have swallowed.

He heads off to his conference. I head off to my frustrating experience with Iceman which you’ll read about here. I end up home and we replay the afternoon. I get off with my vibe. The next morning he goes dark. Uh oh I think – he’s full of second thoughts. I IM him that afternoon – nothing. Yep. He’s filled with remorse. So after 24 hours of no contact, I write the following email to him:

You’ve been quiet so I’m guessing you are doing a lot of thinking. I have been too. It’s hard for you to make any decisions with a void of information about me and my expectations, so let me tell you my thoughts this morning:
1). My only expectation/hope is a really outstanding romp under the covers with you at this time. Let’s see if we are sexually compatible. I have no expectations of how often we would get together, if we would try to do things together or if this is simply great sex with two consenting adults. It’s too soon to say.
2) I have no stalker/obsessive characteristics. What I do need and expect is communication. Just tell me. If it’s over, that’s fine, but I need the closure of you telling me. If you want it to be pure sex, that’s probably fine for now, but we may need to keep that conversation open depending upon how thing go. The point is talk to me – honestly. Things between us will go much more smoothly. I’m never a screamer or drama queen. I’ve been working on confronting people more so this is good for me.
3) I promise on my side that there will be no drama. I have things at stake also. I would lose some community leadership positions and I would have some work issues.

Right now we are two strangers who seem to want to make a strong connection. I do find you very attractive and it’s not just the physical. You have integrity – it shows with your nervousness. You care about people’s feelings – your discretion. You’re a trained investigator so my guess is that you look at problems from various angles, so this “problem” must be occupying your mind as you work through various scenarios. There’s more but this is enough for now.

Let me make it easy. To me, you are sexy and attractive. I think we would have fun. You need to determine your boundaries and tell me. Hopefully it’s all good and we can play. I think we can get there – it just requires very open communication. So, the ball is in your court. This is my last communication because I don’t want to seem needy, stalkerish, etc. I have my pride as well :).

All the best,
Maggie May (yeah, you finally get my last name)
XXX-XXX-XXXX

He sits on that message all day. All fucking day. Finally, he sends me the following around 4:00:
You are right, ive been thinking alot. And Im scared, sorry just the feeling is weird

I reply:
I completely understand. That’s why I sent the email. Take your time. …. Or not. (LOL). Obviously you can tell I’m feeling a strong physical attraction right now, but you need to feel it too. We can talk more too. Like I said before – just communicate with me. Whenever you want to stop, just say so.

He thinks for about 20 minutes and replies: im not sure if i want to do this again. its not right
NOTE: He had told me that he had an affair three years ago with a married woman. He ended it when she wanted more.

I come back with:
That’s fine. No harm no foul. If you change your mind, I would be flattered. Any way you go about this, there is going to be pain. Sorry, but at the end of the day, the odds favor that. Either there is the twinge of us not working out for whatever reason or the worst case scenario on your end.
I can’t help you there. What I can tell you is that something is missing from your marriage, just like something was missing from mine. My marriage was a house of cards – the sex was first bad & later non-existent. I’m in a full rebound mode but have no desire at this time for a LTR or even a steady boyfriend. I know it sounds selfish but I spent the past 30 years taking care of others. Now I am taking care of me. Yep, I’m just a selfish hussy looking out for herself. 🙂

The last part was a bit defensive on my part, so I amend it a couple of minutes later:
Ok I’m re-reading my last declaration that basically “I don’t need no stinkin’ man – I’m a free, independent woman! Yeah!” Well, that’s a lot of BS. Eventually I would like to come across a nice, decent man who satisfies and truly understands me on many levels. I’m just not sure I’m in the right place for that guy right now. But at the end of the day, I just think we are all seeking a connection. There. I’m done…for now.

Nothing. No reply. It’s over. On to the next.

Knock Me Down

It’s so lonely when you don’t even know
Yourself come to me
If you see me getting mighty
If you see me getting high
Knock me down

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Here’s an update on the first 10 days on Ashley Madison. First and foremost, wow. I have never felt so desired, wanted, appreciated, sought after – you name it. I have been gulping down the attention and dedicating huge volumes of time to this. Time I really don’t have, but this flirting and desire is addictive. I am finally taking a step back and focusing on work. Work had become a secondary distraction from what I really want to focus on – AM. This was not good. Then I got suckered punched with three cancellations and a full scale rejection by Skittish which you can read about here. Damn, I thought I had hot sex in the bag with him.  Total reality check.

Hank still wants to hook up, but I have been ignoring him. He almost got lucky this week when I got annoyed and thought about just grabbing the first willing dick available to have a fuck. I resisted.

Why was I annoyed? I agree to meet a guy, R, for a drink. He asks me why am I seeking married guys, I provide my standard answer, the message exchange was respectful, his photos seem good. Nothing outstanding, but he seemed decent. Wrong. What a douche bag. I show up, order a drink and wait about 15 minutes. I’m finishing up drink and thinking about leaving. He pops in from a side door. He’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt over a t-shirt. He looks like a slob. I’m a firm believer in the “only one chance to make a first impression” theory. It’s a one-way conversation of me giving information and receiving none. Then he says he’s late to Zumba and he leaves. Doesn’t pay for my drink. Weirdest thing. The waiter and I look at each other and I said, “Total douchebag, right?” He agreed.

I paid my tab and I was pissed. What a fucking waste of my time. This guy is only a taker. I can see why he’s having problems in his marriage. Then the guy sends me an email “You are so beautiful, I was nervous. The Zumba reference was I had to get back to my wife. I want to see you again.” My first reaction to rip into this guy and explain to him why no woman of any worth will want to have anything to do with him so he should get his lousy ass to a marriage therapist so he can learn to appreciate the poor woman who is chained to him. Then I thought, “Wait, he’s not my problem. Why am I going to waste any additional thought or energy on him? I owe him nothing.” So I simply reply that I didn’t feel any chemistry. Good luck. He appreciated my honesty. Good grief, at least one of us is honest.

Tuesday started out great and Skittish is the reason behind it. You can read about him here. The other highlight of the day was meeting a hot, hot military officer coming in for a conference. Think Val Kilmer in Top Gun (OK, not THAT young). He had sent me some sexy pictures and we were making plans for some fun. After Skittish got me all hot and steamy, the thought of Iceman in the evening was exciting. The possibility of another first – two sexual encounters with two different guys in one day. I was set. Then life began to interfere.

His story was that the conference organizers needed to meet, so he was getting tied up with work. We end up having a drink but he’s tense, and it’s a bit awkward. He tells me to come up to his room, give him 5 minutes to make some calls. I go to the bathroom and think for a minute. I text him and give him an out. I tell him that he’s hot, but I realize he’s under pressure and perhaps he’s not feeing the chemistry. He apologized and then came down and walked me to my car. Shit. He ended up going out with the boys.

That’s when Hank almost got his chance. 2 out of 3 encounters over the past 24 hours were frustrating. For different reasons, but frustrating. I was thinking about just lashing out and grabbing the first, warm body in order to feel validated, but I didn’t. I came back, settled in and texted for a bit with Skittish. Just me and my vibe, but at least I was satisfied.

The next day I was all set to have a romantic dinner with Don Juan, a slightly older (56) wealthy businessman in town. He travels here regularly and was on AM seeking a “lady companion”. He opened with a tasteful email and sent me an electronic flower. OK, it was cheesy, but when I told him he was a bit old, he upped his game. I thought the contrast of some fine dining and wooing would be nice. He asked me to pick the restaurant (I realized that this was a test) and I picked one that won his approval (I am classy and know how to pick expensive). I received an Open Table invite the next morning – very sophisticated. But that morning, he texts me that he has a cold and needed to cancel. WTF. He wants to know when I’ll be back in town (I’m headed on vacation soon), so we are on hold until October. Shit, that’s 3 out of 4 were duds. I immediately IM Iceman that my plans were cancelled so I was free. He wasn’t. We end up at the end of the night sexting. Apparently I tell great stories via text because he sent me an awesome cum shot. He is so hot – it would have been great. Too bad, he’s back home…but he does continue to IM.

So I spend Wednesday night writing the post about my affair during my marriage. Folks, that one took a lot out of me. I’ve been oozing tears ever since. I feel vulnerable and tender – not good in my profession, but we have to deal with it. Then I go have lunch with my retired mentor. We have a great time until the end of the lunch. My boss is overdue to pay her some $$ due. I was supposed to deliver the check. My fucking lame ass assistant couldn’t get her shit together so no checks. My mentor was furious (never mess with a person’s money) and the lunch ends on a completely sour note. I head over to my office so I can sulk in private. Not to be, in walks one of my colleagues. What do I do, cry. Yes, this hard-hitting professional woman decides to ooze tears in front of a tough, practical guy. Good grief. I recover, he’s kind, but good grief WTF is wrong with me??? My upcoming vacation is happening none too soon….

The Great Pretender

Oh-oh, yes I’m the great pretender
Pretending that I’m doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

The Platters

I have been promising to write about my affair during my marriage. Here’s the story. I met my husband when I was 19 and we married when I was 23. At the age of 25, I had my first child. Any parent knows the upheaval that occurs with the birth of a child, particularly the first one. My life was turned upside down. I had a 3-month maternity leave during which I had to type up resume letters for my husband because the moment the baby was born, he was put on notice at his law firm to find another job. It became imperative for me to return to work. This was fine because I am simply not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. One key reason was that I didn’t want to give my husband any more control over my life and the second was the money.

So I’m a young mother, working full time and assuming 90% of the child-rearing duties. My husband worked. He didn’t help with shopping, laundry, child care (“You want me to babysit?”) or basically anything. I felt like a single parent many days. I remember in the early days when I’m home on maternity leave and I get a phone call from him and his brother, sister-in-law and a bunch of other friends. They are out at Happy Hour and called to share the uproarious news of shaving the head of one of them. I’m here sitting at home with leaking boobs, tired and wondering how I ended up being Cinderella. Then he was furious that I was pissed about his insensitivity. I couldn’t win.

I knew by the time my daughter was 1 that this marriage was doomed. I was miserable at home. Then something happened at work. Someone noticed me. At the time I was an administrative assistant – a secretary, but I was the smart one. I wrote well, anticipated things, generally got shit done quick and could read the office politics better than anyone else. I worked in a company that was owned by a father and two sons. Times were tough in our business, so the owners had to adapt and modify our business model. I reported to the father, one son and the CFO. I was in a position of being in the know at all times. I also worked for B, one of the middle managers. He had sought me out when he realized I could make him look good by writing his memos better than he.

I couldn’t tell you how it started. All I know is that my life was miserable. Get up early, get the baby ready, drop her at daycare, work, pick her up, fix dinner, bathe her, read, put her to bed, well, you know that routine. Plus I was responsible for our social calendar and the husband wanted to go out every weekend. My in-laws were pretty helpful and babysat on some of these evenings. There was no time for me. Every minute was for everyone else. To even think of having time for myself was deemed selfish.

B wasn’t my type exactly. B was kind of a dumb jock type (with a good body). He had an asshole quality to him and his morals were non-existent (I knew he accepted kickbacks from vendors). B was always nice to me because I made him look good – I was valuable. Looking back, I think that’s why he decided to pursue me. His job was becoming iffy and he needed intel.

It started with friendly banter, a little flirty. Then his voice on the phone. His responsiveness when I would page him (yes, I am so old that it was the day of the beeper). B cared, he listened, he complimented. We went to lunch (with others) and alone, not long lunches because I couldn’t. I started looking forward to seeing him, talking to him. He was the highlight of my day. Then the light touch of the hand, the naked interest in his eyes, the ramped up banter back in his office away from everyone. I developed a crush. I’ve written about work crushes here. If my situation at home was good, then I would have taken Dan Savage’s advice and just fucked the hell out of my husband. But I didn’t want to have sex with him – sex with him was always bad. Why the hell did I marry him??? I reached out to my sister-in-law, who I thought was a friend, about my work crush. She dismissed it in hand and ridiculed me. I don’t remember what she said, just that I felt stupid and selfish afterwards.

The turning point was he invited me to have a drink. I have no idea how I figured out the logistics of child pick-up, etc., but I did. He told me how unhappy he was in his marriage, how attractive he found me, everything a lonely 26 yr old girl needs to hear. I struggled against my crush. I told him that I wanted my daughter in a stable home. I don’t know what I told him because I was weakening. Then when we left, he kissed me and told me that sometimes I just think too much. It was hot – he was an exceptional kisser. I was hooked.

It continued with elevator rides full of passionate kisses and touching. Then one night B tells me he’ll be at a neighborhood bar with a friend and I should join them. I was dying to join them, but how? Then my husband comes home drunk from Happy Hour and passes out. The stupid, young, horny me leaves my precious child with him and take off at midnight to track B down. We end up making out like teenagers beside a lake. It was awesome. I knew that night that nothing but trouble lay ahead.

Then he gets a hotel room and wants me to take the afternoon off, just leave a couple of hours early. Nervously I agree. I foolishly, romantically was thinking we would have a drink or something. Nope, we get in that room and went at it. The first thing he did was to go down on me. My husband never liked to do that. I hadn’t had cunnilingus in years. It was amazing. We fucked like rabbits that afternoon. The sex was absolutely amazing. So amazing that my muscles were sore the next day like I had worked out in the gym for hours. For the first time I had multiple orgasms and the best sex of my life. I was addicted.

The funny coincidence of that first encounter after I fucked the hell out of B, my husband took me to a Harry Connick concert for Valentines Day. As I sat in that concert, beside my husband, all I could think about was B, replayed that afternoon of sex all evening long.

B had obviously been to this rodeo before and gently guided me in the art of subterfuge. I came up with a plausible excuse of working late one night per week. He carefully made sure that we only fucked once a week. The sex was amazing – I think even he was hooked, but he was careful. My brain was reminding me that there was no future in this. Even worse, his wife was pregnant. Yes, I was having an affair with married man with a pregnant wife – the ultimate sisterhood betrayal. We spend an afternoon of extreme sex during her baby shower. I told my husband I was a guest. I had completely lost my moral compass. Obviously in a small office it’s a bit hard to hide something like this. I wanted to pretend no one knew. They knew. To this day when I see my old boss, he asks me how B is even though we both know that he is a degenerate who ripped off his business partners and cannot show his face in this town. Yes, I was addicted to a sociopath.

I guess this lasted 3-4 months. My husband was suspicious. I fucked him more to keep him guessing, but the sex was still lousy. Finally one day he asked me and I lied and to this day that is one lie I was right to make.

Then finally B got laid off. It was inevitable. Our affair was over. There was no future for us and I was of no further use to him. I was devastated. My rational brain said to calm down and refocus on my family. But my 25 yr old sexual self was devastated to be quashed. But that’s what I did. I sucked it up. I cried every day on the way to and from work. I cried in the shower. I wasn’t so much crying for B – he was never husband material for me and I knew he wasn’t worth destroying my marriage. I think now that I cried for my youth, my freedom. I knew then that I would have to sacrifice it all for my child (and future child that would be conceived 3 years later).

After that, I thought about getting another lover. I was horny, but my rational brain said nope, don’t be stupid. I was stupid once and had a drunk fuck on the office floor with a business colleague. We were sheepish the next day and said “one and done”. After that never again.

That was my affair. That was when I discovered I was a passionate, sexy woman with so much to give. Then I put that woman aside. I raised my kids, improved my career, and was the great hostess, family and community member. I served others and put their needs ahead of mine. In order to hide my sexual self, I ate. I ate so I wouldn’t be attractive and then be vulnerable to another affair. I ate so my husband wouldn’t find me attractive. At the peak of my affair, I weighed about 120 pounds. When I moved out last year, I weighed 205 pounds. Now, 120 is too skinny (I’m 5’9″). But I’ve lost 35 pounds and my journey shall continue for another 15-20 pounds.

So when I am on Ashley Madison and these guys are telling me they won’t disrupt their families. That they love their wife and couldn’t leave her. I get it and I tell them that I’ve been there too. Sometimes you need to feel sexy, attractive and desired. That’s all I want also.

I am the Champion

I’ve paid my dues
Time after time.
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime.
And bad mistakes ‒
I’ve made a few.
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I’ve come through.

We are the champions, my friends,
And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end.
We are the champions.

Queen

It’s time for the post-game analysis and recap of my football weekend.  First and foremost, it was a big, huge, fantastic win for several reasons.  It’s a 5-hour drive home and I have to admit that I LOVE the drive.  I crank up the tunes and speed whenever possible.  It just frees my mind to digest things and this weekend produced things that needed lots of processing.

First and foremost on my mind has been my Threesome – absolutely no regrets.  You read about it here.  That put me in the best frame of mind for dealing with my ex the entire weekend.

Second, the ex – if it was a football game, I kicked his ass on points.  First,  I had made my plans months ago, so although my son didn’t remember the date exactly, it was clearly my weekend.  Then I had the better hotel that offers free shuttle service to the game, is in walking distance of all the best restaurants and bars.  I made plans for two tailgate parties, had girlfriends joining me, scored an extra ticket from one.  I just generally planned my weekend far better than him.  His brother and nephew could only come for the game and not to party with him so he was flying very solo.  OK, these are petty points, but hey, I can be petty sometimes.

My son was thrilled to see me and I arrived with two ties just in time for his pledge dinner.  It rescued not only him but one of his roommates because they needed a specific school color and neither had that color.  He had not asked for them, I just figured he could use them.  It got me a “most amazing mom ever” text.  Then he and I had a great lunch on game day (it was a night game).  The Son Visit aspect was exceptional — I am very proud of him.  He’s happy at school and doing great.  My non-planning ex had no choice but to join us for lunch when he arrived in town.  Then he crashed one of my tailgate parties because it was thrown by one of Son’s high school teachers.  Meh, whatever.

Twice on Saturday, he commented to me that I looked really good.  Even his brother agreed.  HA!  What he was seeing was a post-orgasmic glow that he  never produced in me.  I did look good, felt great and apparently I am still oozing sexuality.

Now the other thoughts to process are how others will view my Ashley Madison activity.  I was with two married women, one divorced and another never-been-married.  Since most didn’t know my current marital status, I updated them and then we got into the discussion of affairs (trust me, I didn’t bring it up).  Obviously married women want to spit on cheaters.  I pointed out that affairs are symptoms of bigger problems.  They agreed, but….  It is a warning.  I also know that my boss HATES cheaters — his parents split when his father was caught.  I need to make sure my post-sexual euphoria is controlled (as in my sometimes big mouth).  Plus as The Woman Invisible points out, she started AM for the same reasons I am and her situation has ended with heartache.

I’ll write another post about my affair early on in my marriage.  I keep threatening to do so, and I think it will help me put things into context for what I’m looking for in this stage.  In the meantime, I’ll savor my victory….

I Just Had a Threesome

Babe, pick a night
To come out and play.
If it’s alright,
What do you say?

Merrier the more,
Triple fun that way,
Twister on the floor.
What do you say?

Are you in?
Living in sin is the new thing, yeah…
Are you in?
I am counting…

Britney Spears

I show up in my son’s college town only to discover that both my girlfriends are arriving tomorrow – not tonight.  This means I’m on my own tonight.  Since I am such a shy, introvert – NOT, I walk over to my favorite restaurant so I can grab dinner at the bar.  I prance up to the bar and immediately pick a spot between two guys sitting together in order to get a beer.  We chat, they are locals.  Actually they are successful, educated locals – one is a chiropractor (Dr K) and the other is a real estate investor (Trump).  We chat, I get my beer (I have to pay—that didn’t impress me) and then their dinner comes.  When their dinner arrives, I leave them so they can eat.  I go to the other side of the bar, play some pinball and end up directly across from them (not intentionally).  I order another beer and an older black guy comes to sit.  We end up chatting – he’s another local.  I make eye contact with my boys and raise my glass in salute, but otherwise I’ve ignored them.

They finish dinner and come over to see me.  When my buddies pop over to see me, they know this local.  Dr. K tells me that they want to have a threesome with me.  They both touch my back and shoulders.  It’s sexy.  I give Dr. K my phone number and he tells me to call when I’m done with dinner.  I ask my new friend how long he’s known Dr. K – 30 years.

Apparently they knew the moment I walked into the bar that I would be game.  I’m apparently sending out a vibe.  I have on a cute fan t-shirt, shorts.  I did look rather cute if I do say so myself.  It was the cleavage in the t-shirt (I swear, it wasn’t inappropriate) and my laugh….really?  They say I have a sexy laugh.  Also being alone in the bar was seemingly waving a huge flag.  They have a code name between them – Peggy.  She was their first threesome many years ago.

So here’s my texting with Dr. K.  The guy is good with the banter.  I’m not doing screen shots because I’m just too tired to short that out.

Dr. K.:  You ordered triple tail??? I like the sound of that.  ( My note – it’s a delicious fish)

Me:  LOL.  You are hilarious.

Dr. K: LOL….We’re going to do this at our place or yours?

Me:  It would be mine—at least I can scream for help.  LOL.

Dr. K.:  Perfect!…Let me know when you’re about to leave there.  Oh and BTW you might be screaming but it won’t be for help.  LOL

Me: LMAO  I’ve never done this – I am nervous.  I’m getting my check.  Let’s meet & chat about this.

Dr. K:  I’m at Trump’s house he’s showering up for you…..we’ll be about 20 minutes.

Me:  I’m flattered.

Dr. K:  LOL  Trump’s really nervous too…..

Me:  LOL – you are just saying that to reduce my nerves.  Nice but I’m not buying it.

Dr. K.:  Nothing to be nervous about….

Me:  Yeah keep telling that to Trump.  Are you both establishing boundaries?  LOL.   I can only imagine what you are discussing.

Dr. K:  I can’t get a word in edgewise with him.  He’s scrubbing and brushing…

Me:  You are so full of bullshit.  LOL  Why are you sitting there?  Are you planning on only watching?  I took a quick shower before dinner…

Dr. K:  Hell no, I’m not a spectator…we’re heading that way now.

Me:  OK, I’m headed outside to listen to the free concert.  You have to sell me on this – I’m not committed.

There is an amphitheater  across the street from my hotel and they have a free concert, beer garden.  It’s a chill place to hang.  I stand in line to grab a beer and end up chatting with two young guys (early 30’s).  They buy me a beer (I must really be sending out a strong sexual vibe).  I tell them I have some friends coming to join me.  I get a text from Dr. K that they are parking.  I text him.

Me:  You have competition.

Dr. K.:  I thrive on competition.

Me:  Bring it on they are young

Dr. K:  LOL parking is a bitch

Me:  Tick Tock

Dr. K: Where are you?

Me:  I’m in the beer garden area with my boy toys.

Now I have told the boy toys that I need their help.  I told them that these two guys are trying to pick me up but I want them to feel some competition.  They are good with this.  One of my boy toys asks if I’m going to hang out with these guys.  I tell him I don’t know; I’m figuring that out.  Obviously they are fascinated that they are going to see a threesome hook up in front of them, so they are all in.

My men show up and we end up drinking some beer and chatting.  We are actually really compatible.   They are cool, nice, sexy professionals.  We walk over to another bar.  Then Dr.K says we gotta do this or he has to go to bed.  Actually I appreciate his directness.  He gets us back on task.  So off we go to my hotel.  We are laughing because as locals, they have never been in my hotel.  We sashay in, jump in the elevator with a couple and their adult kid.  Trump is convinced that these people know what we are up to.  I didn’t get that, but whatever.

We get to my room and I’m instantly sandwiched and it’s hot.  But I have to pee.  Hit the bathroom, remove the underwear, put the cute shorts back on.  THANK GOODNESS, I had the good sense to get a Brazilian before I came up here.

Sandwich continues briefly and we are on the bed.  My clothes come off, Dr. K. is nekkid.   Trump is eating me, I’m giving Dr. K. a blow job.  I cum pretty quick.  But Trump has on clothes, so I get up and strip him down.   Then I’m giving Trump a BJ and he cums quickly.  We tease him that he’s like a high school boy.  Now here’s the interesting aside for me.  I swallow – I usually don’t like to swallow, but Trump’s spunk tastes fine.  No problem.

I re-focus on Dr. K.  Now here’s another aside, between the two, I find Trump more attractive and appealing to me.  He’s the nicer of the two.  Dr. K. is definitely a player.  Nice, but a player.  I get him hard, he puts on a condom and fucks me.  Feels great.  But he can’t keep his erection.  We change it up and I give him a BJ and Trump fingers me.  He’s really good.  Hits my G-spot just right and I cum.  It feels great.  I spend a lot of time on Dr. K and can’t get him to cum.  He’s fine.  He enjoyed it.  He’s actually a cool guy.

Now the entire time, there is no awkwardness.  When Dr. K is fucking me, we start laughing about something and he tells Trump that when I laugh he feels me clinch.  We all find that hilarious.  He says it’s like a Kegel exercise.

Here’s the thing.  Men my age (around 50) are having some erection issues.  I really want to be fucked hard with a full hard-on.  However,  I just had my first threesome and it was great.  I picked the right guys and we made it into a fun, relaxing evening.  Wow, scratch that off the sexual bucket list.

FOLLOW UP:  So in the light of day, slightly hung over and before coffee, I google these guys to see who they really are.  Yep, Dr. K is a chiropractor (very successful one) and Trump….is married to his high school sweetheart and has 3 kids.  Trump is VERY prominent in this town and real estate isn’t an accurate description, but we’ll leave it at that.  I just sent a text to Dr. K:

Hey, good morning.  Tell married man Trump that his secret is safe with me.  How lucky did you two get bumping into me last night?  Absolutely hilarious.  It was great fun – I’m game for a repeat or whatever.  Best of luck to you both.  I’ve never felt sexier.  Thx.

YOLO!!

Flirtin’ With Disaster

We’re flirtin’ with disaster, y’all know what I mean
And the way we run our lives, it makes no sense to me
I don’t know about yourself or what you want to be, yeah
When we gamble with our time, we choose our destiny

Molly Hatchet

Here’s a rundown on my current cast of characters from Ashley Madison.  There are some more but let’s start with these guys because they are the most consistent about pinging me.   I’m texting/emailing with the following:

Hank:  You can read all about Hank here.

Skittish:   He’s hot and intriguing me but he’s very nervous about being caught.  He lives in my immediate neighborhood and we figured out we go to the same gym (he almost had a coronary).  I had dismissed him when I couldn’t get a photo out of him.   Finally I sent him mine, I got his (and he’s sexy) but he’s still nervous.  Today he tells me that he’s headed to the gym.  I ask him if he wants to meet.  He agreed to a quick meeting in the parking lot, so I pop over and text him my location.  He stops by, says hello, we chat a few minutes and then it begins pouring rain.  I mean buckets.  Apparently I passed after I sent him a really nice email (I can be nice on occasion to these guys) that says the following:

Listen – if you aren’t sure about any of this I completely understand.  The odds of us being in the same neighborhood and connecting were exceedingly slim, so it’s a huge surprise to me.  I SWEAR my lips are sealed.  If you just want to chat, that’s fine.  I was married for 25 years, so I understand when the spark is quashed and you start wondering what else is out there.  I don’t want to be the cause of any drama.  I have found that straying outside of a marriage is more a symptom of a bigger problem.

So that was it, except now….he’s texting like crazy.  Oh yeah, one reason he’s nervous – he’s a cop.  What is it with me and cops?

911:  He’s a paramedic in a city about 4 hours from mine.  Great body.  Introduced me to a new messaging app, Kik.  Has good banter and my guess is this is not his first time at the rodeo. He travels for his job quite a bit so he may be in my neck of the woods sometime soon.

Flyboy:  He owns a manufacturing company of some type.  Currently on a business trip in another country, also has good banter.  Pretty cute pictures.  We are to meet on Tuesday for lunch.

I’m getting to old for this shit.  I have to create contacts for all these guys with their online handle, real name, emails and then add notes about what I like about them, description, etc.  There are times when I’m dealing with three conversations at once.  I have to remember what I told whom.  Good grief!!

I am headed out of town this weekend to visit my son at college, so I’ll get a little break.  The unfortunate thing about my trip is that my ex chose the same weekend to visit the kid.  My ex called me about it and I told him I booked my trip back in July, so we would just have to share him.  I also got the better hotel —  his sucks.  Ahhhh, the weekend is looking like a lot of fun already.

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