Here I sit, a 50-year-old woman, who has just finished a 25 year marriage and is ready to start my next chapter. Within this next chapter, I want to have a lot of great, hot sex because that marriage had little to no sex. As a matter of fact, I didn’t have sex the final decade of my marriage. During the time we were having sex, it wasn’t any good anyway. I never had an orgasm with my ex. So perhaps I’ll visit the past during the course of this blog, but really the purpose of this blog is to discuss and explore the future – my sexual future and re-discovering or really discovering the sexual animal that lies inside me.
I moved out in June of 2013 and the divorce was finalized in April 2014 (yep, you try divorcing an attorney – it does get a bit complicated). Early during the separation, I went on two dates with one guy through Match.com and it was OK, but he wasn’t for me. I jumped off the online dating for about six months. I had weight to lose and confidence to build. I lost 20 pounds and tried again on eHarmony. No dates there, so I gave up on that. Two weeks ago, a guy friend recommended Plenty of Fish and that is yielding far more results.
In the meantime, an old high school friend (DB) and I have begun sexting. It started out as some Facebook messages over concern about a mutual friend, then we started just chatting, which moved to flirting which moved into hard core sexting. Interesting. He’s a good friend, someone I can lean on for explicit, candid dating advice since he lives two states away.
What do I want to write about? Oh, the topics will be many. My sexual awakening – discovering what turns me on. What resources am I tapping along this journey. I listen to Dan Savage, explore LadyCheeky.com, watch porn on a limited basis, use a vibrator and sometimes a dildo. I’ve bought sexier underwear and clothing – not slutty, but tasteful expression of my sexuality. I have more confidence about my sexual self and what I bring to the table – thanks DB!
I feel like a hormonal teen-age boy at times that has just discovered there is a vast world of sex out there. My girlfriends watch in bemusement and admiration because I am just willing to put it out there. They fortunately realize that this is a phase and perhaps I’ll settle down once I am thoroughly and satisfactorily fucked and I can expend some of this pent-up sexual energy. The first guy is going to have a wild ride. In the meantime, my girlfriends remind me to be safe but to have fun. They are right.
So, dear reader, follow me on this journey. I welcome your comments and feedback. Tell me your stories as I tell you mine.